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The Utility Vehicle Simulator You've Been Waiting For

Coming Soon: What Have I Done With My Life Simulator

Eventually all the minutiae of the human condition will be available as budget simulators on the PC. “Yawn Simulator”. “Uncomfortable Silence Simulator”. “Microwave Burger Simulator” It’ll get more and more generic, the titles less and less exotic, until one day we’ll have the machinations of the world described on your shelf. Utility Vehicle Simulator is the first step on the road to “Rolling Your Hands Up And Down On Batteries Simulator”: it’s the game about driving vans, keeping in the speed limit, delivering boxes, trimming trees, sucking sewage. We have a video of it in action. Sorry, “action”.

I’m glad this stuff exists, but I’ve absolutely no idea who it’s for. Let’s turn the comments into a straw poll: do you have one, do you enjoy playing it? I got a bit lost in Bus Driver when it arrived on my desk at PC Gamer. The challenge was so prosaic: keeping to the lane, collecting passengers. It was inadvertently compelling. Satisfying, rather than fun to play. But back then, this sort of sim was still fairly strange, now we have one every other week.

It’s out this Friday, so you can spend the weekend having the best time ever.

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Who am I?

Craig Pearson


I love square sausage, cats, and climbing pretend rocks.

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