Game Of Thrones RPG Out In June, Kissed Its Sister

Wait, you may be brothers! Try kissing.

Having just watched the latest episode of Game Of Thrones, I’m fairly convinced that any role-playing game based on the books will just be a simulator for having sex with your brother/sister. But the latest trailer for Game Of Thrones: The Game (is that really what they’re sticking with?) appears to show that there’s also some chopping people up, too. It’s released to accompany the news that the game has a release date. Well, woolly release month portion, of “early June”.

It’s interesting to see that the game is taking its visual cues from HBO’s show, rather than Cyanide’s own vision of the novels. That makes commercial sense, of course, with the TV show becoming a must-watch for all who want to see siblings gettin’ it awwwwwn. Although they say the story for the game received “creative input” from George R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R. Martin himself. Whether that means he significantly contributed, or had his secretary’s secretary say “Yeah, sure,” on the phone is not clear. But the prospect of a new original verse to that song of ice and fire sounds a good deal to me.

It’s from Cyanide, for whom I think this game is arguably a chance to prove themselves. Their luke-warmly received Loki in 2007 failed to inspire, and Chaos League didn’t demonstrate any RPG chops. Blood Bowl may have made Quintin and Kieron squee their pants, but again, not demonstrating RPG skillz. Then their RTS, Game Of Thrones: Genesis, proved to be a bit poop. With Pro Cycling Manager their breakaway hit series, hopefully the last three years of development on GoT will change how they’re perceived. You can watch the latest trailer here, because it doesn’t bloody upload and Focus haven’t bothered putting it on their own channel. However, I did write a little song for the aborted YouTube upload, which I shall instead reproduce here:

It’s a trail-er, of a ga-ame,
about crazy mixed up fa-mi-lies
They all fuck their, bros and sisters,
Then chop the head off of a ba-by


  1. V. Profane says:

    Game of Game of Thrones would be much better.

  2. Phantoon says:

    But can you talk to the siblings?

  3. Ninja Foodstuff says:

    will just be a simulator for having sex with your brother/sister

    So you are suggesting it will be akin to agreeing to EA’s T&Cs: seems like it can’t do any harm at the time, but then nine months later there’s there’s a circus freak you have to take care and everyone, everywhere tells you that you deserve it.

    EDIT: Not from personal experience obviously. I loathe EA.

    But I do love me some siblings, oh yeah.

    • Iain_1986 says:

      Seriously, the ability for people to crowbar in an EA stab/hate comment in seemingly every article no matter how unrelated is getting beyond ridiculous

  4. G says:

    Hopefully in the Red Keep you will be able to come across Game of Thrones: The Game: The Throne.

    Also, this will be rubbish.

    • Ninja Foodstuff says:

      Nah it will be proper good: it’s got a least 3 creative inputs, which will combine with a few graphics to make something anyone’s mum would be proud of.

      • SkittleDiddler says:

        G’s right. It will be rubbish, but only because Cyanide are involved.

  5. John Walker says:


    • Unaco says:

      It doesn’t rhyme, has no flow, and really John, I think you might be obsessed with incest. On the plus side, there aren’t any glaring spelling errors.

      • John Walker says:

        It totally does rhyme, second and forth!

        • cassus says:

          Songs don’t need to rhyme. The only problem with it is that you used the word fuck, which is generally a no no. Or a ‘Fuck No’, if you will.

        • Rexvivat says:

          My american missus says it’s to the tune of the intro to the brady bunch, whatever that is and has just sung it at me.

    • Premium User Badge

      Hodge says:

      Give us a recording and we’ll see.

      • gou says:

        don’t encourage him, the next verse probably includes bestial-ty

    • DrScuttles says:

      Had I a hat, I would doff it, sir.

      edit: actually, it does sortof fit with the end of Tool’s Lateralus, you know, the bit where it starts going all spirally starting from the line “With my feet upon the ground…
      Though I doubt that was the intention. But all great art is transcendent and all that.

    • Jockie says:

      Is it to the tune of the Flinstones?

      • Skabooga says:

        I tried it to the tune of “We Are a Family” to moderate success.

    • Gap Gen says:

      Modern pop songs are much creepier if you imagine they are talking to an actual baby.

    • mbr says:

      Song? I just read it in Christopher Walken’s voice.

      • Jeremy says:

        Okay, now that sounds better. Couldn’t get a song to fit, but that voice… yes.

  6. cassus says:

    Historically, games based on movies are horrible. Games based on TV Shows even more so. Pretty sure this will be a pile of poo, even if it’s actually not based on the TV show, rather the books. The books/tv show does not really lend itself to a game any more than Downton Abbey does, to be honest. Games with the fire & ice license would probably be more suited to yee olden adventure game style stuff. Maybe in the Heavy Rain style.
    That would probably generate tens of dollars, though.. So, 3rd person hackyslashytimes… You know, a fresh take on games licensed on all things.

    • RedViv says:

      Crusader Kings II is probably the best ASoIaF game available right now.

      • Eversor says:

        This. Nothing else should be added.

      • cassus says:

        I really should get into Crusader Kings II. I bought it, then I bought Fall of the Samurai and got completely obsessed with it.. Think I played Crusader Kings II for about an hour, but from what my buddy tells me, you are totally right. That is a fantastic idea.

  7. Unaco says:

    As with AGoT: Genesis, as long as this isn’t appalling, then I’ll let it go. I’m a fan of the books, and the TV series, and I think ASoIaF could make for a decent video game (think M&B mixed with Total War, with some Crusader Kings thrown in)… but as it is with the TV series, to pull it off I think you’d need a lot of time, money and a really, really good Dev studio to do it (sorry Cyanide). If it’s a good game… Yay! If it’s a mediocre game, then it can be ignored, I guess. But, if it’s a terrible, terrible game, so bad that it hurts the franchise, then I won’t like that.

    • HothMonster says:

      Im still waiting for the Westeros map mod for Crusader Kings 2, because that game really feels like GOT to me. I always extinguish the lancaster family name as quickly as possible too.

  8. CKScientist says:

    There isn’t actually that much incest in the books, is there? I thought it was just the two blonds.

    • Phantoon says:

      I dunno, but there is a LOT of finger banging.

    • Jockie says:

      The Targaryen line always married in the family and there’s a bit of brother/sister fondling early on there between Dany and Viserys, plus :

      *SpoilerIguess* There’s also the thing were Theon tries to bed his sister, without realising it’s his sister. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.

    • aquarius says:

      …also there’s Craster and his daughters/wives.

    • Unaco says:

      And the whole Targaryens wed brother and sister to keep the Blood of the Dragon as pure as they can thing.

      Also… Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler

      John says he’s just watched the most recent episode (Episode 2 of the 2nd series) which features the reunion between Theon Greyjoy and Asha/Yarra Greyjoy… his sister… whom he doesn’t realise is his sister until he’s had a good grope on the horse ride to Pyke.

      I’ve read the books though, and I don’t get why the incest is so prominent in people’s image of them. Yes, there is incest… yes, it’s an important element (Joffrey being a bastard product of incest is, it could be argued, the basis of most of the drama)… it was a definite element of Historical Dynasties as well – Egyptian and Medieval Europe. But there isn’t actually that much in the series.

      • RedViv says:

        It’s striking and out of the ordinary. Just like the swearing (for a fantasy book), the gore, and the sex.
        Well, and then there is advertising, which of course concentrates on those three things (even more so for the program). Because lots of sex and curses and blood are mature, thus making it a mature story, and the intricately woven deep plot lines and grand development of characters have nothing to do with it.
        Rated M for OMG I’m so adult now!

      • TsunamiWombat says:

        Because it’s Hawt, I think.

      • Ragnar says:

        Agreed, the incest is there, but it’s rather minor. What really sets the books (and thus the TV Show) apart from others is that bad things happen to good people and people you like die. You rarely find it in other fiction, or they’ll die only to be brought back to life later. Knowing that the protagonists are perfectly safe robs tense moments of their tension. In A Song of Ice and Fire, no-one is safe, and everyone could die.

    • Drinking with Skeletons says:

      There’s also Gendry almost accidentally sleeping with his sister (THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T GO AROUND HAVING BASTARDS ALL THE TIME GUYS).

  9. TsunamiWombat says:

    Seriously though lets talk about the actual game anyone else expecting this to shit its self and die on arrival?

    • HothMonster says:

      <<< this guy is. I hope to be proven wrong, but I don't have any faith/

  10. Fiddler says:

    This is a compliment for John’s song.

  11. legouba says:

    Get free item level increase or gears link to

  12. S Jay says:

    “The entire game was written by Cyanide, including the plot and character dialogue. But I did have creative input at many points during the process,” Martin told Joystiq. When he met with members of Cyanide to review the game’s design document, he made sure that the experience wouldn’t break canon. “What they’re doing is a parallel story to some of the early events in Ice and Fire, so my primary concern was that nothing in the game altered the events in the books.”
    link to

  13. Anjasa says:

    I’d play Incest: The Game (of sexy siblings getting it on).

    I mean, really, what’s a little hot, taboo sex between siblings?

    • Bhazor says:

      Well given that sex with identical twin sisters is supposed to be the ultimate male fantasy* I’d say the sexiness of incest is pretty much accepted.

      * not for me. Identical twins are a natural occurence that I never the less find incredibly creepy. Like the eyes of goats.

      • Cryo says:

        Then how about twin goats getting it on?

        • Bhazor says:

          Twin goats doing it? Ick. Do not want.

          Twin lesbian goats doing it? I’d watch that but only because I would be intrigued by the logistics of it.

  14. AMonkey says:

    It looks reasonable so far, its been approved my Martin so thats enough to get me interested.

  15. Tei says:

    That look somewhat like Dead Island. No idea why, but I like that.

  16. Grayvern says:

    Dunno why people focus on the incest given that there are far more examples of ‘curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal’ usually foreshadowed for at least 200 pages plus in every one of the books.

    • FunkyBadger3 says:

      I’ve only watched the TV series, but it does strike that all bar about 2 of the characters are *incredibly* stupid.

  17. CaptainDeathbeard says:

    I signed up just to complement you on the song.

  18. amishmonster says:

    Something about the poem at the end made me think of the “She is Judy, She’s a Baby” song from Rum Doings. Which is a little distressing, given the content of GoT.

  19. shopshop1 says: so cool for business and earn money

  20. thither says:

    Hey, it that George RR Martin at 1:53 in the trailer?

  21. SmittyBit says:

    Nice, hope this turns out good. I’m reading the books, and love them. Great storytelling. Think I’ll have to look into this one.