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Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet Entwines PC In Tendrils

My secret theory: this entire game takes place on the main character of Prototype's arm.

“Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet” is quite the mouthful. The implications, too, are downright fascinating. Are there, for instance, Shadow Planets that are neither insane nor twisted? Could they even be generally pleasant with moderate weather and shadowy denizens that have sunny personalities? Perhaps the sequel will be Pleasant Vacation Spot Shadow Planet. At any rate, the least savory of Shadow Planets is now open for business, and you can grab the highly acclaimed action adventure puzzler shooter and probably golf sim on Steam, or keep reading the rest of this post – which will ultimately enrich your life in no meaningful way.

OK, are they gone now? Hah, suckers. Here’s a video of an war-endingly adorable porcupine refusing to give up its corn. Is that not the most heartwarming, sadness-melting sound you’ve ever heard? There is no situation in which this video is not the correct answer, and now, faithful readers, I bequeath unto you. Also, I guess the quills sort of make it look like a Shadow Planet level. You know, if you squint. A lot. Pretty much until you can’t see and have to just imagine a Shadow Planet level.

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Nathan Grayson


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