In Space, No One Should See You Smile: Lost Planet 3

It's like the opening of Dead Space, except with more smiling and less screaming

The rictus smile of a man who has explicitly requested a transfer to a frozen and lost planet, riddled with alien bugmunchers, for the simple reason that the woman he loves no longer returns that love. Imagine his horror when she calls him via videolink to demand he returns the toaster they bought together. Force a grin, bearded warrior, force a grin. Also, is he clutching a coffee in his massive spacemitts? Here’s hoping Lost Planet 3 will have a thermos nursing minigame that emphasises the importance of hot beverages when hiking through a world of winter. A host of images lurk below.

I’ll split these into three types. Beard-man storydrama images demonstrate that this prequel to the previous games will be a game of narrative and character. The second set, showing the beasties and monsters, shall provide zoological evidence that all critters have orange bits and pieces that cause them to explode when shot. Finally, images of landscapes shall demonstrate that it’s a particularly cold prequel.

Beard-man, ho! See how he carves a path through space, grim and determined.

But wait! The next shot displays the sheepish expression of a man who has just seen an unwanted incoming call.

And there it is. That grin. That awkwardness. That cup of Horlicks.

Consolation from Mr Blonde but the beard has already fallen into shadow and decline.

Annoyed and bewildered, the beard contemplates facilities, mechs and the dwindling light that filters through cracks in the delicate structures that are the only means of supporting life, all symbolic and twinkling like some kind of metaphor.

And then he gets chased by googly eyed monsters and harassed by a facehugger facekisser. And yet, through it all, his face is frozen part way between that forced smile and part way to the clenched expression of an agonised and lonely death. Why could she no longer love him? Perhaps the game will provide the answer.

Here are some monsters, tagged with glowing weak spots for your convenience.

And here is the British summertime.


  1. SirKicksalot says:

    He looks like a John Carpenter protagonist.

  2. Unrein says:

    The main char looks like the Space Jesus head model from Kotor 2 brought into HD age.

  3. RizziSmoov says:

    Hey the protagonist is over 25.

    • Zelius says:

      Heh, that certainly is an uncommon sight in Japanese games.

      • TsunamiWombat says:

        It could be a Nier type situation where the EU/NA release protagonist is a grizzled older man while the Japanese protagonist is an 18 year old metro sexual looking for his sister.

        Yes that actually happened :D

        • Zelius says:

          Wow, I just looked it up. I didn’t expect such a contrast, but you’re right. An interesting cultural difference.

      • NicoTn says:

        New developer

  4. wcq says:

    I am shocked and bewildered by the size of that gun in the picture.

    I mean… it’s so small! Aren’t future space guns supposed to be at least 50% of the volume of the man carrying them?
    Except in the Lost Planet series, where they’ve used to be roughly 150%.

    • Ragnar says:

      In the future, great advances in miniaturization enabling shrinking giant space cannons to only 50% of the volume of a human male.

      Lost Planet 3 either takes place before these advances, or it’s even farther into the future, thus the giant miniature space cannon has been shrunk to a convenient and portable size.

  5. Unrein says:

    If this game isn’t any good, I am afraid I’ll have to give it the COLD shoulder.

    • unangbangkay says:

      I can understand why the series gets a chilly reception from most, but the sheer hatred I’ve seen some reserve for Lost Planet 2 would freeze a man in his tracks. And when it comes to figuring out why, I’m really out in the cold.

      • Bobtree says:

        LP2 is different, and many couldn’t be bothered to learn how to play it. They wanted to skip that, the fun part, and proceed straight to sucking at the competitive multiplayer.

        • HermitUK says:

          I thought Lost Planet 1 was a decent shooter, if a little mind-numbing. Played most of Lost Planet 2’s campaign with mates; while it had its moments, the game mostly left me cold. It really heated up during the massive boss battles, which were the best bit. But 95% of the game was spent fighting boring Mercs and Pirates instead of the far cooler Akrid enemies.

          The first game was all about icing the Akrid to survive. LP2 mostly consisted of men engaging in heated combat over the ownership of a train. Felt like a lot of the good ideas from LP1 had melted away.

          • pigchicken says:

            I see the pun thread is lost on some

          • HermitUK says:

            I recommend thawing your brain out and looking again, Pigchicken.

          • TsunamiWombat says:

            At first I thought you were insulting him Hermit, and an inventive one it was. Then I realized his name is in fact, pigchicken.


    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      I have absolute zero interest in this game.

      • BoZo says:

        It must be at least one interest, as you bother to go here and make a comment.

        Edit: Oh was this the pun thread, I just feel lost today…

    • Blackcompany says:

      Lost as to the reasons behind this frigid response….

    • Surlywombat says:

      I think it looks cool.

    • Premium User Badge

      Bluerps says:

      Come on people. Chill!

    • caddyB says:

      Allow me to break the ice

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      I fear this chilling prophecy for failure.

  6. Drinking with Skeletons says:

    Aren’t these games widely considered to be pretty bad?

    The screenshots look amazing at least. Love the designs of the aliens.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      They’re widely considered pretty mediocre. LP1 was sort of a gem in the rough (I won’t say DIAMOND because I don’t know if it was a diamond, perhaps an Amethyst or an Emerald in the rough) while P2 was…uh…strongly Co-Op related for some reason and was just kinda weird and controlled funky. The biggest barrier to it was how necessary co-op was though, which as you might assume can be murder for a console game.

      Hey, does this mean LP3 is getting a PC release?

      • Ragnar says:

        Co-op is great! It makes almost any game better by its inclusion.
        Games designed for co-op are great, and make the co-op feel all the more fun and rewarding.
        Games only balanced for (and thus requiring) 4-player co-op. They serve as an irritating reminder that you could be having fun and enjoying the game, but aren’t, because you don’t have 3+ gaming buddies to play with on a regular basis.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    So, do the British also use mechs to protect themselves against those epsilon class storms, or is that made up for the game?

    • Premium User Badge

      Adam Smith says:

      If by ‘mech’ you mean ‘rundown bus shelter built in the fifties’, then yes, we do.

      • Premium User Badge

        Bluerps says:

        That doesn’t sound at all like adequate protection against an epsilon class storm!

        • TsunamiWombat says:

          Stiff upperlip and all that, you know.

          Great Britain repelled Operation Sea Lion and the Nazi war-machine via the sheer power of their disdain and twitching mustaches, they can handle an epsilon class storm or two.

  8. Nim says:

    Mistake nr. 1: No head protection against the cold whatsoever.

    • felisc says:

      he has a thermo-beard mark III, he doesn’t need any hat.

      • TsunamiWombat says:

        If you look at the suit it has a hood it’s just pulled down. If it’s anything like the previous games the envirosuit has an internal heating unit.

  9. SanguineAngel says:

    That first critter is arse-backwards!

  10. Solar says:

    Did anyone play lost planet 2? I tried, it was on my wishlist for a while because it looked nice. Shame it played like an angry electric eel; slippery, frustrating and altogether pretty shocking.

    Lets hope this beauty is less hollow. How can they even afford make a third game…. others have been shelved for less.

    • Tei says:

      I don’t like console games or japonese games, but I enjoyed LP2 a lot because of how ludicrous big are the enemies and everything. The graphics are also very good. I played a lot coop, because I am a coop person, I like to play with random people. Is a very unique and special game.

  11. Glottis1 says:

    OMG. I cant relate to the main charter. He is not bald. Totally not buying this game.

  12. ShowMeTheMonkey says:

    It’s a shame stuff like this gets made and STALKER 2 won’t be.

    And yes I am predicting LP3 will be just as bad as LP1 + 2 (Which they really were).

  13. Blackcompany says:

    Is it just me, or this entire thread full to overflowing with huge guns, manly proportions and playing with strangers…this is getting disturbing.

    Also: Chuck Norris in space?

  14. neolith says:


    Whenever I get a glimpse of a post titled something with “No One…” my heart skips a beat because I am getting my hopes up for a third NOLF… :(

  15. LintMan says:

    Beard-man? How offensive! And it’s used repeatedly!

    As a Person of Bearditude, I resent and decry the blatant shavism exhibited by this article. You might point out that several members of RPS are also Persons of Bearditude to varying degrees, but I say this does not make it OK! Shavists among the readers will always use this to justify their own shavism. Clearly you are all beard-apologists.

  16. StingingVelvet says:

    Looks pretty. I like big dumb action games that are pretty. Sorry RPS hivemind.

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      I like them too! Lost Planet 2 was rather good. Had some issues, but certainly amused me in co-op.

      • TsunamiWombat says:

        From Castle Shotguns coverage of this endeavor does this mean we can expect a PC release for Lost Planet 3?

        I enjoyed LP1 somewhat and never played 2 because i’m not a co-op person.

    • Ragnar says:

      I too like action games that are pretty, monsters with orange bits on them, and romantic interests that look like Sharon Valerii. I’m cautiously optimistic.