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17

A Partridge In A Derby: Dirt Showdown

Let’s get the preliminaries out of the way. There’s another video of Dirt Showdown doing the rounds, this one avoiding the collisions and boosting that have been the highlights of previous trailers, and instead seeming to show a mating ritual between automobiles. Perhaps some form of dance. I don’t know, but it’s not as much fun as the actual grinding of metal on metal, the eruption of oil and petrol, the concertina crunch of repeated impact. You can see the coquettish conveyances below and you can also bear witness to only the second time I’ve been amused by an achievement.

Yes, cars, spinning round and round, pyrotechnics popping rather unimpressively. Occasionally objects are clumsily punted along by the cars and that is good. If the game turns out to be anything like Destruction Derby, Burnout and Flatout in a sweaty makeout session I will play and enjoy it, but if it’s more like Dirty Dancing with vehicles I will probably play and abhor it. I don’t often plant myself in the seat of a virtual car, certainly not one that’s on a track or in an arena of any sort, but the kind of over the top daftness that Showdown should contain might be enough to lure me in.

Now, that achievement. They’ve only gone and called it Crash, Bang, Wallop – What a Video. Let’s have a look at what that’s a reference to – on the internet.

Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what the only other achievement I’ve ever been tickled by is? Clue: first-person game.

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Adam Smith

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