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Anachro-tastic: Orion: Dino Beatdown Savages Steam

So videogames, pretty much.

Update: This game is apparently horrifically buggy and mired in mud-slinging controversy. Fun! A patch is allegedly on the way for one of those things, but it hasn’t dropped yet. In the meantime, if anyone with (or formerly with) Spiral would like to talk about, well, anything (including favorite colors, sports teams, or breakfast mascots), please get in touch. Just email me via the address in my byline.

Original article: “The game is out April 20th.” We said that about co-op jetpack blaster Orion: Dino Beatdown, and then it didn’t happen. Distraught, I tossed and turned night after night fearing the worst. Before long, I started putting up posters that read “Have you seen/been killed by this T-Rex” around my city and openly bursting into tears anytime I heard the Jurassic Park theme. Two weeks passed. I became almost certain that Dino Beatdown had scampered into the middle of the road and gotten hit by an errant meteor. My heart sank into the briniest depths of my chest at the mere thought. But then: hope. A Steam listing celebrating a May 4th release – with a four-pack option, no less. D’aaaaw, it had babies. That explains everything. Well, actually, no, but a recent trailer does. So fearfully grip your gun and venture into this post’s thickest word jungles to check it out.

So then, three open levels and three mighty dino species to make re-extinct (perhaps using dynamite) – not a bad start. Better still, Spiral plans to add more menacing ultra-lizards and worlds “on a regular basis” via free updates. We’ll probably say more about this one in the near-future, but until then, any takers?

 

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Nathan Grayson

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