Oho: Max Payne 3 Cheaters Forced To Play Against Other

Admittedly, the world would probably be a better place if police were capable of wall hacking.
Apparently, the ability to slow the passage of time – perhaps mankind’s most potent enemy of all – wasn’t enough for some Max Payne 3 players. They needed more an edge. An upper hand. A fool-proof means of killing you and your fun. So, of course, they added the requisite loadout of cheats and hacks to their arsenals, and now honest players are getting quite Mad Max over Max Payne. Happily, however, Rockstar has proposed a rather unique solution.

The paradoxically sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll-obsessed developer explained its take on crime and punishment in a blog post:

“Anyone found to have used hacked saves, modded games, or other exploits to gain an unfair advantage in Max Payne 3 Multiplayer, or to circumvent the leaderboards will be quarantined from all other players into a “Cheaters Pool”, where they’ll only be able to compete in multiplayer matches with other confirmed miscreants.”

“In the event we decide to absolve any of these cheaters for their past transgressions they may re-enter play with the general public, however a second offense will result in their indefinite banishment. In either case, we will be removing invalid leaderboard entries to ensure that the players at the top of the charts have earned their spots fairly.”

Meanwhile, Rockstar also recommends that you report any suspected cheaters to maxpayne3.banhammer@rockstargames.com, because we’ve yet to figure out how to enchant any other tool with swift, brutal banning capabilities.

At the very least, though, this is an interesting way of dealing with it. And while it’s certainly a solid discussion topic in itself, I’d like to widen things a bit: Have you ever out-and-out cheated in an online game? If so, why? Did you feel bad? Did you have a good reason? Conversate! I command it!


  1. Belsameth says:

    I find this a brilliant move!
    Far better then outright banning.

    Besides that, no. I never did. I don’t have a compulsion to win tho, just to have fun. That, and I don’t play with randoms.

    • Ringwraith says:

      I think Marvel vs Capcom 3 (or some other fighting game at least) had a similar system with dealing with disconnectors, you’d be put into matches with other disconnecters until you redeemed yourself by not doing it for long enough.

      • Malibu Stacey says:

        Dota 2 also does this for people who quit a game & don’t reconnect within 5 minutes. If you do that a few times you’ll end up in low priority matchmaking with similar miscreants.

        • Edradour says:

          As did Hon for whatever amount of years have past since it came out

      • Tortango says:

        Yep, MvC3 did the same thing. My roommate ragequit a game once, and the next time I played there was a big scary warning about it.

  2. Jim Rossignol says:

    MaxPayneDev7 is such a noob.

  3. sinister agent says:

    Brilliant. That is so clever it makes everyone who didn’t think of it before look like a colossal idiot.

    • Heisenberg says:

      its is brilliant.

    • MultiVaC says:

      Isn’t this what just happens in many games anyway, though? For example in Valve games there are servers that don’t have anti-cheat enabled, so the cheaters, pirates, and banned people just end up playing in those, while legitimate players just avoid them. I don’t see how this is much different.

  4. HexagonalBolts says:

    ooooooohh this is good. This is very good. Can you imagine the sheer horror of starting up a server and finding out that everyone else is unfairly exploiting the game as well?

    • Fanbuoy says:

      It does sound like it could deliver some pretty interesting games though. Just imagine a game where every player is a cheating miscreant, whose character is running around like a rampaging Hercules on steroids.

      • Gundato says:

        Actually, back in the days before Steam, a few friends and I would regularly play Counterstrike with every hack we could possibly find. When EVERYONE has wallhacks, aimbots, and speedhacks it gets really crazy-stupid, really fast.

        • Renfield says:

          Thank you for that mental image.

          (@Fanbuoy – reply fail)

      • LionsPhil says:

        A world in which everyone is a reality-warper.

        Probably a bit boring if it’s susceptable to That Cheat Where Everyone Suddenly Just Drops Dead, mind. (Also known as Hidden & Dangerous mode.)

    • InternetBatman says:

      That sounds amazing, not terrifying.

  5. kregg says:

    The only time I ever “cheated” in an online game was in TF2, and that was idling.

    After having nearly half of my backpack gone, I’ve never bothered with multiplayer “cheats” ever again.

    The kicker? Valve was doing it to punish people who were trying to get hats. I only did it to replace the weapons I stupidly deleted when the backpack system allowed you to permanently delete weapons. In the end I ended up with less weapons than before.

    Really isn’t worth it IMHO.

    • stupid_mcgee says:

      That wasn’t even true idling, then. You could and still can idle. What you can NOT do, is fool the TF2 item servers into thinking that you are connected, when in fact you are not.

      That’s the funny part. Tons of people idled responsibly (by actually running TF2) and still got to keep their stuff. Only those that tried to hoodwink the system were punished.

      The inconvenience of running the game in the background persistently in order to earn items lead to the creation of third-party programs. The program “SteamStats”, created by TF2 Backpack Examiner creator and now-Valve employee Drunken F00l, mimicked the game’s engine and connected users to servers hosted by F00l. Intended originally as a method of research into the item drop system, the program quickly gained popularity, providing statistics and notifications to users upon receiving an item. As idling previously required the user to load the game and run in the background, SteamStats appealed to many players as an ideal way to earn items efficiently, without the need to play for large amounts of hours or to place a drain on system resources and power.

      On September 2, 2009 blog post, Valve took a zero-tolerance stance against the use of external applications to manipulate the item system, removing all items earned through these applications to date.[1] The announcement stated that around 4.5% of active players would have been affected. All players who had not used external applications were awarded the Cheater’s Lament, an all-class hat that appeared as a golden halo. The drop rate for all existing hats was also increased.

      link to wiki.teamfortress.com

  6. SanguineAngel says:

    I love it. Also no I’ve never out and out cheated in an MP game. Possibly due to a lack of knowledge? I suspect it would be relatively easy to find out but why ruin the fun for myself and for others? That would make me a double dick.

    • jrodman says:

      Speaking for myself, I would love to see the reverse engineering that went into it: the design of the system, the protocol details, how the safeguards are defeated. It would be neat to run the tools under packet inspection and debuggers and stuff.

      But the actual motivation to cheat online? Eh, I don’t like competing. The only fun for me would be to have some kind of bitter joy at utterly rendering the idea of the challenge pointless. But that would be unsightly. So I’d give it a pass.

      • jimbobjunior says:

        The same. I can see the appeal and real fun behind creating the cheats, the aimbots, wall hacks etc. But using them? That would be dull as anything.

    • Ninja Foodstuff says:

      On a slightly tangential note, why is cheating in a single-player game considered such a big deal these days?

      • Rinox says:

        Probably a consequence of the relatively young ‘achievement culture’. You could get achievements or Xbox live points or whatever virtual e-peen currency they use without putting in the same effort as non-cheaters, thus raining on their parade.

        Of course, why anyone would care about other people’s achievements seems hard to understand, but a lot of people see to do so…

        • Boosterh says:

          I prefer to think of it with a sports analogy. MP games are directly competitive, like hockey, football, or MMA: you are directly competing against someone else. SP is indirectly competitive, like running. As long as you are just running for your own health and pleasure, there is no harm in taking some shortcuts. But it is no more fair to post your results on the leaderboard with cheats on then it is to expect your 5 km time, run indoors, on the track; to count against the racers running up and down the hills outdoors in the 35 C weather. Some might call it “e-peen;” I just call it friendly competition.

          • Saldek says:

            A difference remains, tough. When I play certain SP games my results are posted by the game, not by me. I don’t get the option to go “just running for [my] own health” and to choose my own conditions. I get entered into a competition.

      • Mordsung says:

        I don’t think it’s a big deal to most as long as your scores aren’t showing up on leader boards.

        The consolers are a bit more obsessed with stuff like achievements but I’ve yet to meet a PC player who doesn’t either hate achievements or are indifferent to their existence.

        • VelvetFistIronGlove says:

          I kinda like them—well, some of them. I like it when a game records of interesting or challenging things I’ve completed. Primarily as a single-player thing for my own enjoyment. They’re less annoying on Steam than they are on the Xbox, where they play a big chime and pop up an enormous message :-/

      • Hmm-Hmm. says:

        Probably because multiplayer is so widespread these days.

      • psyk says:

        “In either case, we will be removing invalid leaderboard entries to ensure that the players at the top of the charts have earned their spots fairly.”

      • Chorltonwheelie says:

        Is it? I really should get out more.
        Though I’m not a dedicated single player cheater I can’t see the harm in loading up Doom and tearing around on Nightmare level in God mode.
        More recently I tried a hack on Metro 2033, a game I love and have played through many times, that spruced up my ammo and filters. It was lovely to get all the gizmo’s and enjoy the environment in a different way (ie not sweating, shitting bricks and dying a lot).
        I don’t see the problem. After all your only spoiling it for yourself if you haven’t played it through as best you can in vanilla.

        As for MP cheaters……burn the bastards.

      • GreatGreyBeast says:

        I dunno, but I was just noticing that in the latest SimCity comments, wherein people were actually defending the lack of savegames by saying that having them was “a form of cheating.” Oooooooooooooo-kay….. maybe it kinda sorta is, but the question remains: so friggin’ what?

    • Secundus says:

      before this the arcade mode leaderboards were trashed with cheating scores. oh man your so funny getting 1337 seconds in every level on new york minute

  7. GallonOfAlan says:

    Never cheated, since apart from being the online equivalent of shattering a bus shelter on the way home from the pub out of pure dickness, the uber-faff involved was also off-putting.

    • SanguineAngel says:

      nicely put

    • noodlecake says:

      Me neither. If I play against someone who takes advantages of exploits or even purposefully takes advantage of an obviously unbalanced aspect of a game I happen to be very good at, I go out of my way to hammer them into the ground using very obviously fair and clean methods. It’s very satisfying. Although very aggravating if they manage to win.

  8. DanPryce says:

    I can see the Cheat Pool becoming Max Payne 3’s arena of champions. If you can win in a cheaters vs cheaters match, surely that’s a greater challenge that playing by the rules?

    • sinister agent says:

      You can also win by going round their house and beating them to death with a rubber hose. I’d definitely consider that a more worthy challenge.

    • Mctittles says:

      There used to be this online cart racing game “Re-Volt” that I played quite often. It was packed full of rampant cheating, although you could usually tell a cheaters car because the skin didn’t download.

      Anyway, as a non-cheater my friends and I would often host games and in the description note that cheater cars were allowed to join, but you would be largely ridiculed if you loose even after cheating.

      The thing is we would often race better against the cheater cars because they put their speed up so high they weren’t able to react fast enough to the corners so would actually race slower.

      • Snargelfargen says:

        Re-volt was a lot of fun! It played sort of like Mario-Kart at double-speed, and the environments were really interesting (you drove miniature rc cars through houses, lawns, etc.).

        Anyways, making the cars even faster than they already were was suicidal, especially considering the twitchy handling. Those cheaters are colossal idiots.

    • Ragnar says:

      I thought you were going to suggest that the cheaters arena could be the ultimate challenge. Those gaming gods who are “sick of pwning newbs all day” could enter the cheaters arena and try their legit skills against the overpowered cheaters.

  9. Drake Sigar says:

    Why not. Give the roided athletes their own separate Olympic games.

    • Post-Internet Syndrome says:

      IRL, they already do…

      • frightlever says:

        What is it? Some of those Middle Eastern competitions, for various sports, were a bit dodgy but I’m not aware of any rival to the Olympics that doesn’t test for drugs.

        Obviously the real Olympics is rife with drugs, the only ones who get caught are the ones with bad management.

      • Premium User Badge

        phuzz says:

        Why not give anyone found to be taking drugs more drugs? That should even the field a bit when some ‘roided up sprinter is trying to stroke the flowers because he’s just coming up on a massive dose of acid…

        • Fiatil says:

          Well, you just came up with the best answer to steroids in sports I’ve ever heard.

          Though you may wind up throwing a no hitter in baseball if they give you acid. (youtube it if you’re interested, it’s a pretty fantastic story)

    • disperse says:

      Reminds me of this old Saturday Night Live sketch:

      link to nbc.com

  10. JeCa says:

    Didn’t ARMA 2 have a system where if you were found cheating it wouldn’t notify you in any way, but all your weapons would mysteriously have slightly worse accuracy… Or wasagainst pirates?

    • SanguineAngel says:

      That is also pretty brilliant. Although a little bit annoying if you are wrongly accused as you would not be able to appeal.

    • Post-Internet Syndrome says:

      That’s the FADE system against piracy. Remember: Original games don’t FADE!

    • The Sombrero Kid says:

      These piracy only bug systems are idiotic in that they make your game look like it’s broken to potential customers.

      • misterT0AST says:

        “potential customers”, read: “pirates”.

        • The Sombrero Kid says:

          Pirates and people pirates talk about games to, I know I personnally have quite a lot of influence over what games half a dozen heavy gamers buy (& they, me) not to mention all the casual gamers I recommend to.

        • The Sombrero Kid says:

          Also I’m a developer & there’s nothing worse than seeing pirates spit rage onto app store reviews about your game crashing & knowing other people are being put off by that, it’s also difficult to tell if it’s a legitimate crash or the deliberate one. Also you’d have to be a bit dim if you have an opportunity to advertise to pirates (who almost certainly didn’t buy your game because they can’t justify the money, not because they take great pleasure in fucking me, Andrew Haining, over) & you decide to shove the fact they’ve no money in their face rather than say hey isn’t this a great game, if you buy it, it’ll be even better!

        • hello_mr.Trout says:

          but those very same pirates might develop brand loyalty to whatever games they pirate, and invest money later on at some point? – okay, maybe farfetched, or only happens in small percentage of cases but still – blanket statements aren’t so great, and the whole piracy vs. lost revenue debate is pretty complex. there are lots of factors involved!

          • Joshua Northey says:

            I don’t think it is 1/4 as complex as the pirates would have you believe. I mean by the time you are an adult you have learned the basic human skill of figuring out who is lying when a store owners accuses a kid of stealing a cookie. (HINT: Not the store owner).

          • Aedrill says:

            That’s a very nice post, Joshua. Would you mind adding some actual argument to it? Because hello_mr.Trout’s comment didn’t say anything about false positives, he just stated that pirated copy != lost sale, which is true. I know that reading comprehension is not beneficial to publishers so you don’t want to waste your time on it but maybe you could try just this one time?

          • Brun says:

            Yes, since all store owners are honest and ethical people and would never lie to gain financial advantage if they thought they could get away with it.

    • Salt says:

      That was against pirates, also appeared in Take On Helicopters with the visuals distorting and degrading over time on pirated copies.

      Of course depending on how they did it, just as liable to affect legitimate customers as any other DRM. Except they’re less likely to understand what’s happening to be able to seek support.

    • dahools says:

      That sounds good on the ARMA bit, but what if your cheat/ hack is incredibly accurate weapons? or bullets that never miss?

      I think depending on the circumstances of the cheat or hack depends on the punishment. No good being in a server full of cheaters if they all have god mode enabled is there?

  11. jrodman says:

    Oo mee mee!

    I cheated at online flash-based chess in the sense that I had a computer pick my moves for me.

    I justified it to myself by noting that there were a lot of other such players and a lot of rude players. Not that this really makes any sense.

    But I had a lot of computers available at the time. I ran a distributed chess engine on like 100 computers at work on the weekend while fixing bugs and such. And I wanted to see what it could do. It could win, a lot.

    • jrodman says:

      Oh, I forgot.

      Once in World of Warcraft in the pvp battleground called Warsong Gulch, people were making me be the flag carrier again (despite my terrible gear and low experience) and people led me up into some portion of the horde fort which was nearly impossible to get to and clearly not intended to be accessible. After about 30 seconds of being up there I decided that was stupid and jumped down. We captured it anyway.

      I also cheated one time playing magic the gathering over email by mulliganing an initial draw of all land without telling my opponent. I think that rule didn’t exist yet, or I didn’t know it. So I just drew another hand, because the game would have sucked for everyone otherwise.

      So all told we have: manipulating game state (magic:tg), computer aiding (chess), and bug exploiting (wow). I’m a terrible person having cheated those three times since 1993.

  12. Kollega says:

    The notion presented in the alt-text is rather controversial, Nathan. I’m not sure if world would actually be a better place if policemen could wall-hack.

    Then again, i’m basing my assumptions off Russian police. Perhaps in civilized world the ability to invade privacy so grossly wouldn’t be misused as much.

    (And for the record, no, i’ve never cheated in online games. Didn’t play too much of them to begin with.)

    • SanguineAngel says:

      Like heck it wouldn’t. Most of the policemen I know are massive nobs and exactly the sort who would cheat in a game of CoD.

      Although to be fair personal experience only counts for so much.

    • sinister agent says:

      It works a lot better if you remove the words “of wall hacking”.

    • Grargh says:

      Civilized world is a nice illusion. Rest assured that at least here in Germany the riot cops are exactly the same type of person – not to think about the militias the call police over in the US. When they begin to use wall-hacks and the likes, I’m definitely changing the server.

    • Johnny Fronthole says:

      They already do:

      link to infowars.com

  13. Mungrul says:

    Pretty novel way of dealing with cheaters, and I can’t see anything inherently wrong with it.
    Thumbs up R*

    Related, I saw that Blizzard brought the banhammer down on cheaters earlier in the week.
    What nobody expanded on that I was quite interested to hear was what the effect of the ban was. Have these people been permanently banned from being able to play Diablo 3?
    If so, that strikes me as being a very bad thing.
    Do they get a refund?

    • jrodman says:

      Oh no no, I’m sure you’ve quite misunderstood. They just can’t play *online* anymore.

  14. domizindahawze says:

    I got kicked out for cheating once on a Day of Defeat playing on Snow Bridge.

    Some german sniper was shooting people right at the exit of the american base. He was hidden inside a rock just above the base. So I inched my way up to the glitchy rock and killed him, then killed a couple other guys from up there, my bad i know, and got kicked out.

  15. Captain Captane says:

    The only time I’ve used cheats during multiplayer was quite a few years ago when I had some friends over for a mini LAN party. After playing all sorts of stuff we all got an incredibly obvious aimbot for CS:S and went into some random non VAC servers. Yes it was a dick move but it was hilarious with company. We then played against each other which became a sort of wild west scenario of fastest on the draw wins.

  16. Jnx says:

    This will lead into some awkward matches, as the most obvious and commonly used cheat in MP3MP is invulnerability.

    Glad that they are doing something, I thought this would die in a month due to shaky connectivity and cheats but maybe it’ll live.

  17. gwathdring says:

    That’s awesome! They still get to play, but they’re on their own as far as protection from other cheaters goes and everyone else gets to play in peace.

  18. Web Cole says:

    Does screen looking count? :P

  19. Staal says:

    Just registered to say how fond I am of this website and its commenters. I’ve lost count of how many times I had to clean my coffee -covered monitor because of you guys. Thanks!

  20. The Smilingknight says:

    Oh..hohohoho – ho!

    This will turn out to be a bad, bad move… its going to shoot them right in the face.

    Get ready for “enhanced MAx league” and “King of the worst” throne and people intentionally cheating to get in that exclusive league of badass playahs (thats what the will call themselves).

    btw… if i have a copy of the game that came to me through other channels i had no influence over, without me lifting a finger, and this copy is just sitting on my hard drive without being installed at all for days now… am i stealing money from Rockstar?

    (i never had any inclination to buy or play the game at all too)

    ha! hahahaha! whoeee…

  21. mr.ioes says:

    Not really cheats, but nonetheless dickery: hosting wc3 games and kicking people for various reasons, wasting their time. I’m guilty of that. Imagine Dota 2 where you are one keypress away form kicking unpleasant players. Yeah …

    • RandomNext says:

      I did that a lot too. Honestly most of them deserved it. Writing “Go/start” repeatedly even after they got told that I intend to wait for more players or getting insulting was more than enough reason for me to kick players right before I started the game.
      Still laughed my ass off everytime though ;-)

  22. The Smilingknight says:

    I also had a copy of the new batman game just sitting on my hard drive for months until i finally deleted it cause i needed space.

    How much damage did i do?


  23. InternetBatman says:

    This is a great solution, and I imagine the cheating servers could eventually become quite fun too. If only there was a way to load hacks just to go on cheat servers, and then come back to normal later.

  24. Post-Internet Syndrome says:

    I’ve been accused of hacking in bf3 twice. I’m very proud of it.

    Never cheated in a mutliplayer game, but when I was little I cheated in SP all the time. Many games I have not to this day completed without the aid of cheats. Most notably the original Commandos and its expansion, G-police and the Aladdin platformer. Many years later I managed to get to the final level of the commandos expansion, but the original game I have only gotten to like the 11th level or so legitimately.

    I was immensely proud when I finally beat Oni without invincibility.

    More on topic, I recently read that reddit post where a bf3 cheater came out and told exactly how the hack he used worked and what it could do. I found it pretty fascinating actually, how they only cheat a bit, to avoid being obvious. So the hack actually enables full invincibility and instakilling of any player on the server, but most people would only use the map- and wallhack, and maybe the damage hack. (Snap aim is very recognizable on killcam, so they are smart enough not to use it too much.)

  25. Kdansky says:

    I play to win.
    I do not cheat.

    See sirlin.net/ptw , a must-read for any player of a competitive game.

  26. The Tupper says:

    They should do it for the Olympics too. Then that cheating bastard Dwain Chambers might win a medal honestly.

  27. The Sombrero Kid says:

    I don’t cheat in life, there’s even less incentive to cheat in a game, so I don’t do that either, this is a good solution though.

  28. NathanH says:

    About eight years ago I got my computer to check my analysis in an email chess game. I did it because I was winning against a much stronger player but it was really complicated and I didn’t want to screw up. But it was naughty and bad and I will not do it again.

    I played BG2 pvp with two items that weren’t actually attainable in the game (standard acceptable practice was to cheat your character to the xp cap and then add your wanted items in Shadowkeeper). In my defense I had seen both items on other characters that looked legit, they seemed like proper items with sensible descriptions, another player thought he’d acquired one of them in-game, and everyone thought they looked genuine. Since everyone else used them shortly afterwards it was probably not a big deal. I also had a BG2 character with +3 AC and +3 thac0, but that was because a bug that I could reproduce with witnesses, and I removed them once I learned how to edit PC’s innate abilities.

  29. Jeremy says:

    The only cheating I ever did was back in Counter Strike days, and it was more of a study of the different hacks out there. We were in a fairly competitive clan, and we wanted to make sure we knew what to look for if people seemed a little “too good.” It was on a closed server, and everyone involved knew there were hacks in play, so I don’t know if that counts as hacking in the legitimate(illegitimate?) sense.

    • Rinox says:

      I think a lot of it is peer pressure. I’ve been in clans too, and I was convinced that some of my fellow clan members were using hacks or at the very least ‘assistance tools’, but no one said it out loud. It was this public secret, and if you wanted to stay in the picture it was more or less expected of you to ‘do the sensible thing’ and use some hacks yourself. Of course nothing too outrageous, because if you’d get caught your cheating teammates would be the first to condemn you.

      It’s surprising how many similarities this shares with doping culture in sports.

  30. db1331 says:

    I wish they would do this with people who camp in FPS’s. Round them all up and let them play by themselves. No one would ever get a kill, because they would all just sit in a corner somewhere near where they spawned. Imagine if they took everybody who snipes from the main in BF3 and made them play together.

    • Maldomel says:

      That’s not cheating though, even if campers are the bane of many a player in fps.

    • MD says:

      In a well-designed game, camping isn’t a problem. To counter it you just take all the items the camper isn’t challenging for, bunnyhop over and rocket them in the face.

    • BillyIII says:

      Unreal Tournament has anti-camping mutators. May be BF has something similar?

      • VelvetFistIronGlove says:

        They should make it that if you camp too long, ants come and crawl all over you, and you do an involuntary crazy dance for 30 seconds trying to get the ants out of your pants.

    • Boosterh says:

      Okay, this might be a legitimate complaint in a run and gunner like HALO, but in BF3, if they give you a bolt action rifle with a scope, and a map measured in kilometers, I think that long distance firing from cover is one of the ways you are supposed to play the game. I mean, that’s the way I train in the army, and BF3 was pushing its whole “just like real life” aspect pretty hard.

  31. Binary77 says:

    I’ve never cheated online, but I remember about 10 years ago i fired up Counterstrike on a mate’s PC & he had a bunch of wallhacks etc activated. I questioned him about it & he claimed it was “just a test, out of curiosity”. But the same guy also used to put his cat in the tumble-dryer as a kid, so i guess that shows you what kind of person cheats in online games!

  32. Maldomel says:

    Very interesting move from Rockstar. We need more situations where people are not just banned, but rather kept in check to make them understand their wrongs.
    Also, I never cheated in multiplayer or online, and I despise the people who do that.

  33. dudeglove says:

    I used to have terrible ping and would grief players that way in TF2 – does that count?

  34. marcusfell says:

    I used cheat codes all the time in the Age of Empires II single-player. It was actually kinda awesome, because if you type “howdoyouturnthison” you can spawn cadillacs with machine guns. Also, it turns out the computer controlled monks could totally convert them, but their colors don’t change. I will never forget the sight of fifty blue cars shooting at each other.

  35. PoulWrist says:

    Never cheat or exploit. It is the lowest you can sink. Accept that you suck or find a way to enjoy it without ruining it for others. If that is what gives you your kicks, something is wrong with you.
    I have quit raids in my mmo of choice when something failed and the only way to avoid starting over another day was to exploit the game. I want nothing to do with such behaviour

    cheaters and sploiters are the lowest of the low. Despicable.

  36. Sinomatic says:

    Genius, Rockstar, just genius. If we could expand this to all games, and widen the scope to do the same for all the abusive bigots, I would be the happiest little gamer there ever was.

    Never cheated myself. I used to get laughed at in Diablo 2 in Baal runs because I was seemingly the only sorc on earth who didn’t use Maphack (and that was a hack of convenience rather than anything competitive). I just don’t understand the mentality behind cheating. Other than the really obvious ones (who obviously do it to grief), what’s the point? What does it get you?

  37. paddymaxson says:

    I wouldn’t say I’m proud of cheating in games, but I’m not exactly ashamed either.

    I used to be in a middling-at-best CS Clan, the clan leader hated me, but I was decent enough and the rest of the clan liked me (let’s not get into me indiscriminately photoshopping erect penises into photos of him smiling like he might really want a penis near his face).

    His argument was that I wasn’t good enough at CS to remain in the clan, so myself and the deputy leader hatched a plan:

    I would cheat (skillfully – if you configure your aimbot right and use the right weapons and are at least good enough to aim in the general vicinity of the enemy then you’re quite hard to delect) at CS and become the best person in the clan quickly.

    Anyway, long story short, the clan fell apart after their FINEST player got banned from Enemy Down.

    I later reappeared with a voice changer and joined his new Clan but got bored before I took the charade too far.

    Since then I’ve been a pretty resolute non-cheater, I don’t even cheat in single player, don’t see the point. I do bot at WoW but I don’t consider making something work more tirelessly than I do to be cheating.

  38. Ocho says:

    I got banned for modding MW2. so worth it.

  39. cpy says:

    Lotus 2,3 infinite time cheat, because i was too young to understand why it is bad
    Turrican – inv. all weapons: i had fun so what?
    Xenon – inv. well i had fun even invulnerable, when you’re kid, it’s fun anyway
    and many many more games on amiga 500+
    Doom, Dukenukem: oh yeah baby give me all stuff :)
    CS – geometry mesh view, just for the fun of it.
    Diablo 2 item duping on local MP
    Titan Quest item duping, got bored due to cheating :(
    Warcraft 3 – dota public game maphack, just for fun of it to have some troll time.
    WoW – been botting for over 12 months and trading gold for gametime, got bored so i switched game.
    Minecraft xray me baby one more time, mineral map, diamond hacks and all fun stuff on MP, where i havent intended to stay long, it’s less fun to cheat when you’re admin on one :)
    Diablo 3 – only few hacks: darkd3 and loot font replace
    30 facebook accounts for just game advantages, multiaccount online games (travian, LOU and many more i played)
    Only bans i got is on forums and temp ingame for racism or some other jokes i pull on chat with random people, i got my accounts permabanned on wow forums just for messing with blizz by typing posts in !@#$ or !@#$% characters like so: Have a !@#$ (nice) day :)

  40. NeuralNet says:

    Not really news, I would have assumed that MP3 did this already because it uses a modified version of the same engine that GTA IV uses and anyone with a modified version of GTA IV couldn’t join a session hosted by a player with no modifications.

  41. Joc says:


    I was building maps though. Yeah, that’s my excuse.

  42. Screamer says:

    I win so I don’t have to cheat! :P

    Lol… seriously though, can’t fathom why someone would feel better after they had to cheat to be better than someone else :/

  43. BenA says:

    All I ever did was IDDQD and IDKFA.

    They’re burned into my neurons just as much as h, l, k and j are for vi. Even after all this time.

  44. slinkyinmotion says:

    This is a fantastic idea. I love the idea of cheaters getting a taste of well deserved medicine. Will cheaters be told they have been moved to a new pool? I find it hilarious to think of a bunch of cheaters all unknowingly fighting each other pointlessly and watching them rage at others for cheating. Then at the end of the match there is no scoreboard or leader chart just the giant words – CHEATERS NEVER WIN.

    Also I think it’d be great for non-cheaters to have an additional “spectate the forsaken” option to watch these knuckleheads rage at each other. Any spectator can have full voice access to trash talk and make fun of all the losers in the pool. But then, I’m a heartless sod.

  45. Joshua Northey says:

    Hmmmm, I don’t think I have ever cheated in a game. Would kind of defeat the point, no? Especially since there are no rewards for winning other than your self esteem.

    Heck I even feel awful when loading a previous save in a SP if I feel I screwed something up. 99% of the time I just restart the mission rather than just jumping back far enough to erase the mistake.

  46. Greggh says:

    I like cheating in the GTA games: when I’m almost done with a session of playing I would save and then make all those dreamish car-flying things one can make cheating, godlike killing the entire army then just quit the game while laughing as some crazy glitchy cheat goes awry.

    Kinda like when you play SimCity for a couple hours, get bored from playing seriously, save and smite down you city with meteors, godzillas and whatnot just for the hell of it

    • Sinomatic says:

      Cheating in a single player game isn’t really the issue though, it only affects you and that’s just funtimes. Very different story online.

      • Greggh says:

        My point being, aside from cheating to “feel superior” to your counterparts or whatever, maybe people cheat to enhance or change their gaming experience (because of boredom, repetitiveness etc.).

        Like someone said in the comments above, if you cheat in an online game with your friends – and they’re cheating too, or not – cheating just makes it a different game, not a leverage.

        • Sinomatic says:

          I wouldn’t really call that cheating though, if it’s all consensual funtimes (as it were), I’d call that modding. Cheating is more something you’d do in a competitive environment to gain advantage over other people, or to get around or exploit the game system to profit in some way.

        • Brun says:

          Cheating in games like Skyrim or Just Cause 2 (sandbox games) is uber funtimes.

  47. Stevostin says:

    “At the very least, though, this is an interesting way of dealing with it. And while it’s certainly a solid discussion topic in itself, I’d like to widen things a bit: Have you ever out-and-out cheated in an online game? If so, why? Did you feel bad? Did you have a good reason? Conversate! I command it!”

    In TF2 I think I did until I switched to a better mouse and achieved those kind of unfair headshot on a regular basis, that I knew were completely exasperating for the opposition. That being said I’ve seen people looking strangely at walls, always lucky to find there was indeed someone coming at the corner. I also saw headshots that required insane yet clearly not impossible skills and Spies with unlimited cloak before item for that even existed. So I’d say “yes”, unless I am prove wrong, but I’d also say that on TF2 hacking while helping doesn’t necessarily push you up to the top ranking if there”s a real veteran out there. Which actually makes things complicated : a cheater can keep unoticed, being help but not insanely good either.

  48. Soapeh says:

    When I was 13 I went to BSkyB’s studios to take part in their fledgling flagship production Games World. My mission was to ask Madame Pixel for a cheat for Enduro Racer on the Master System. My two buddies asked for cheats for Sonic and some other Megadrive game. My stupid pubescent face wasn’t broadcast but theirs were. I felt cheated. Doubly so because I thought I’d meet Diane “Games Mistress and Jet off Gladiators” Yousdale but she was in another studio on a different day.

  49. Zankmam says:

    This is interesting.

    Funnily enough, their games will probably end up being better once they get bored with the cheats.

  50. Cryo says:

    Put verbally abusive jerks in there too and we might finally have some nice things.