They've seen attack ships on fire off the shouder of Orion

Alright, busted. I’m almost entirely posting about this because of the amazing name. WAR OF THE HUMAN TANKS is the best of all the names, you see. Would I be posting about this Japanese indie strategy game if it was not, in fact, called WAR OF THE HUMAN TANKS?


The title turns out to not refer to very big men who are terribly hard to kill, but tanks that are indeed humanesque and fight a proxy war on behalf of their actually-human creators. They might look like wide-eyed anime eternal children all doing that joyful shout thing, but the player builds them earned resources and can develop new types. All of which have great hair, apparently.

As for the game, it’s grid-based strategy framed by a narrative that documents the conflict between the Empire of Japon and the Kingdom of Japon. ‘Japon’ reminds me something else, but I just can’t seem to place it.

Apparently it’s been relatively successful in Japan. The below trailer immediately gave me a headache, but I think I managed to glean that it’s vaguely Advance Warsy before I passed out.

Hmm. Bit hard to tell under the noise and jump-cuts, but there could be a thoughtful strategy game in there. Also, HUMAN TANKS.

That’s out this Autumn, as localised/translated by Fruitbat Factory, and there are many more details on both game systems and what looks to my increasingly impatient eye to be too much narrative over here.


  1. apocraphyn says:


  2. kaoswielder says:


  3. JB says:


  4. Akatsuki says:


  5. SanguineAngel says:


  6. Ergates_Antius says:

    Human Angry Houses.
    Angry Human Houses.

  7. caddyB says:


  8. matty_gibbon says:

    TANKS for the FACE WARS

  9. mckertis says:

    This looks pretty bad. If anyone is interested in this sort of thing – look up Gadget Trial. Same general idea, better production quality, AND already translated. That is, there is a quality fan patch.

    • lorddon says:

      Thank you, for mentioning that.

    • Premium User Badge

      FhnuZoag says:

      I’m willing to wait and see if the mechanics are interesting. How is Gadget Trial’s gameplay?

      • mckertis says:

        “Gadget Trial’s gameplay?”

        Advance Wars-y. Only with mecha-musume and a freaking visual novel jammed in it.

    • zino says:

      I agree with that, good sir.

    • absolofdoom says:

      Gadget Trial is awesome; I’m enjoying it very much. Thank you for sharing!

      Although I’ll probably try this game too whenever it comes out.

  10. matty_gibbon says:


    • caddyB says:

      that’s how japanese titles work

    • SanguineAngel says:

      Can you imagine if Medal of Honour and CoD adopted this trend?

      • JackShandy says:

        Yes, we’d end up with ridiculous titles like “CALL OF DUTY 4: MODERN WARFARE 2: BLACK OPS 2.”

        • Lord Custard Smingleigh says:


    • LTK says:

      18th century novel title conventions need to make a comeback for videogames.

      • Harlander says:

        “The Half Life” or “With Crowbar and Hazard Suit”
        Being the Misadventures of Doctor Gordon Freeman in the Environs of Black Mesa and the Desmenses through the Lambda Portal

        OK, a bit shoddy, but it was worth a shot

        • LTK says:

          Or “The War against Dragons, waged by a Man/Woman of Unrecorded Race in the Province of Skyrim, who Possesses the Soul of a Dragon, and Pursues their Destiny of Preventing the End of the World, with a Multitude of Distractions along the Way”. Though I’m sure someone else can do better.

          • The Random One says:

            In Which The Chosen One, Unique in being Capable of Slaying the Foul Dragons that Plague the Land, Decides Instead to Fart Around and Climb Cliffs on Horses Until Being Ultimately Killed by a Giant

    • echoMateria says:

      Hi, It’s Ozhan Sen from Fruitbat Factory. Thanks for the interest.

      The name of the game is actually just “War of the Human Tanks”; “Charge! Human Tanks” is the name of the game series – there are three games in total. “War of the Human Tanks” is the first of them. “Your enemy stands before you…” is just a tagline .

  11. President Weasel says:

    Thanks, Tanks.


  12. MistyMike says:

    Can’t you people see that the whole ‘human tank’ idea is just a pretext for a having creepy little anime girls as units?

    • KauhuK says:

      That’s Japan for you. There is nothing that cannot be made into (creepy) little anime girls.

    • Uthred says:

      Whats creepy about them? Or are you just assuming that because its from Japan and features young girls its creepy?

      • matty_gibbon says:

        It’s creepy because it’s obviously there for titilation

        • Rhin says:

          I can’t agree with “Obviously.” Maybe in other titles, but the style here is mostly like the style in Yotsuba, which is about a very non-sexual 5-year-old.

      • MistyMike says:

        The huge staring eyes and general malformedness.

      • pipman3000 says:

        no you see everyone from japan is a pedophile, it’s not racism because i’m talking about a country not a race.

        • dE says:

          It’s such a beautiful world we’re living in. Since there are is only one human race, there is positively no racism whatsoever! Never has been! Attributing properties to the place of birth or appearance? Nah, it’s cool. That’s not racism, just xenophobia. It’s all smooth. No really. Totally. Blergh.

          • lurkalisk says:

            As much as you might like to call it racism, or whatever form of bigotry (which it just may be), you can’t deny there is a rather extreme cultural difference. Not everyone in Japan likes the same stuff, or behaves the same, but they trend in a direction quite noticeably different from anything the average RPS reader is used to, and it makes perfect sense that some of it might come off as creepy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

          • pipman3000 says:

            no you see people from japan just trend towards pedophilia it’s not stereotypes or whatever you say it’s just a cultural trend like how yanks love guns or brits hate brushing their teeth or how germans trend towards antisemitism or how

            you get the idea

    • Jupiah says:

      Hey, at least the girls in this game are drawn in the cartoonish chibi style. Better to be commanding creepy little girl tanks then creepy, *sexualized* little girl tanks.

      You know, like in that Gadget Trial game recommended a few comments up. War of the Human Tanks look pretty harmless and innocent compared to that disturbing mess.

  13. ekuurh says:


  14. matty_gibbon says:

    Right, we should be able to get some good anagrams out of this. I’ve got FAT SHARK WOMAN HUN

    What you got?

    • Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      A human’s **** froth.

      Asterisked word can be deduced from leftover letters, but I feel it unseemly to pollute the thus-far gentlemanly comment thread.

  15. Cinnamon says:

    You will want to protect these tanks.

  16. YourMessageHere says:

    That gave you a headache? Hope you never ever watch telly or go to the cinema, then.
    I thought it was rather charming. Might be fun.

  17. nimzy says:

    Mecha musume strikes again. Thankfully, it’s a lot less creepy this time around.

  18. IncredibleBulk92 says:

    Blade Runner Reference!

    i saw it…

    • Skabooga says:

      For some, I imagine that reference will be lost in time . . . like tears in the rain.

    • JayeRandom says:

      Where was the Blade Runner reference? Looked for it, didn’t see it.

  19. Jupiah says:

    Why would you make your tanks look like adorable little girls and then give them a “self-destruct” ability? Why kind of heartless monster could do that?

  20. JayeRandom says:

    In keeping with my questionable taste in music, I thought the music for the trailer was kinda catchy, albeit the lyrics were a bit odd.

    I google the lyrics to find the artist– and find out that there appears to be at least three separate amateur musicians, each independently claiming these lyrics as their own creation. And no more-well-known source (that they might be cribbing from) anywhere in sight in the search results. Very odd….