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In July, Cute Things Will Die Violently

The real victim here? Whales.

Well, presumably. I mean, you’re supposed to be protecting them, but – if I didn’t know any better – I’d say the world was designed specifically to slice, dice, burn, electrocute, and robo-punch these impractically helpless creatures in a variety of comedic ways. The very notion is, of course, madness, but sometimes – when I’m all alone on dark nights, rain attempting to drown the earth and flashes of lightning dramatically illuminating my face – I can’t help but wonder. I’m probably fretting about nothing, though. I’m sure Cute Things Dying Violently has perfectly benign intentions. And hey, now the Xbox Live Indie Games hit is coming to PC on July 17. There’s a trailer after the break, which depicts… well, I really shouldn’t have to explain this.

So it looks kinda like Lemmings mixed with copious flinging and enough sharp things to make even needles feel squeamish. It’s also only £1.99/$2.99, which is pretty great – given that it packs 60 levels, a bunch of challenges, and a fairly robust-looking level editor. That last part, especially, seems like it could make this kind of game endlessly amusing – provided, of course, that you’re an awful human being who loves nothing more than to sit around and devise new ways to make cute things die violently. And really, who isn’t?

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Nathan Grayson

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