Resident Evil 6 Has Big Nasty Things Too

Oh, hello there, little guy. What's your name? Did you lose your person? N'aaaaaw.

Recent reels of Resident Evil 6 footage would have you forget that any entity other than the humble zombie has ever existed. And while the likes of Day Z and The Walking Dead actually put purpose back in their spring-less steps, RE seems quite content to treat them like undead bowling pins. It is, then, utterly heartbreaking to watch poor, helpless multi-story monstrosities suffer the bonds of obscurity in silence. Theirs is the greatest of all the plights. But no more. The latest RE6 trailer introduces what appears to be a fairly sizable boss creature – well, after devoting about half its runtime to more easily extinguished zombies, anyway.

Hooray, needle appendages and acid saliva! The thing’s no El Gigante, but it’s a start, at least. And at this point, I really am pulling for absurdly over-the-top bosses to be Resident Evil 6’s saving grace. I mean, even RE5 had a couple solid encounters with bosses both big and small, and excellent one-on-one showdowns are something of a rarity in games these days. And hey, if you’ve clearly got a budget the size of a human pyramid built atop a non-human Godzilla, why not go all in? I, for one, will remain ever hopeful.


  1. N'Al says:

    Most importantly, nude human-spider boss lady:
    link to
    Stay classy.

    • phelix says:

      What a shame.

    • CrookedLittleVein says:

      And yet, this is still only the third worst thing I’ve heard this morning.

      I hate my life.

    • db1331 says:

      I thought she was a cool boss in Dark Souls. You can craft one of the better swords in the game from her soul as well.

      • dE says:

        I thought that section was very odd in Dark Souls, not really a good fit for the scenario. The game goes out of its way to make decent female armor. Has a grim and dark setting until suddenly…

        Bikini Mildred with a huge phallic butcher knife and a sac on her head dukes it out with the naked Spider Lady doing suggestive gestures, in the midst of a bodily infestation scenario… WHAT?

        • JackShandy says:

          I don’t care what you say, the “Naked female torso on something horrible” is a classic monster.

          See: Mermaids, sirens, harpies, medusas, snake-women, spider-women, centaurs…

          (Who’s Bikini Mildred? And why would her sword count as phallic when everyone else has one too?)

          (And does vomiting lava count as a Suggestive Action now?)

          • dE says:

            Did I somehow touch the holy grail of gaming or why that passive aggressive response? :)

            Mildred is the summon in that area. She attacks you once in Blight Town and can be summoned for the fight against Quelaag. The nickname Bikini Mildred comes from her habit to oh whatever, just look at the damn wiki page: link to

            In further news, you might need to check your hyperbole detector. It’s broken.

            And suggestive, even if hyperbolic:

          • JackShandy says:

            I suppose I was responding more to the general thread rather than your post in particular. Nude human spider-boss ladies are totally rad, is all I’m saying.

    • JackShandy says:

      Wait, what’s the problem? Dark Souls’ nude human-spider boss lady was fantastic.

    • Totally heterosexual says:

      Ooooh, wank material. Thanks for the link.

  2. TheApologist says:

    If they were characters in Prometheus, they’d give that snake monster a friendly little stroke.

    • DrScuttles says:

      And yet be completely freaked out by an inert corpse of one.

  3. Agnol117 says:

    I wonder if this one will have a giant vagina monster. RE has been lacking in those lately.

    • JackShandy says:

      You want Silent Hill, just across the hall.

      • Agnol117 says:

        I’m just saying — RE has an absolutely staggering amount of monsters with phallic imagery, but I can’t think of any giant vagina monsters. It’s a classic monster type.

        Besides, at this point, it couldn’t really hurt the series.

        • JackShandy says:

          This might just be me, but I’ve never been afraid of Vaginas. Or even anything that looks like a vagina. Dicks, now, that’s a monster I can get behind. Figuratively.

    • noom says:

      See also: the (ridiculous) end boss of Clive Barker’s Undying. Least subtle vagina-monster ever witnessed.

  4. TheManfromAntarctica says:

    Still can’t help seeing somebody blowing a giraffe whenever I see the “6” in RE6: link to

    • Jupiah says:

      Okay, even with the image you linked to I still don’t see it and frankly I’m a little worried about you. I think maybe you should see a psychologist, it can’t be healthy to go around seeing such extremely sexual images in every innocuous symbol you come across.

  5. noom says:

    Played the demo on 360. It was… disappointing. I say this as somebody who’s completed RE4 twice and had a blast playing RE5 co-op. It does so many things wrong that it’s quite hard to list them all.

    I am, however, still hopeful that the end result may turn out well. For all the scripting, rail-roading, QTEs, horribly implemented cover-shooter sections, and utterly asinine characterisation, there was… umm… actually, no, I’m kinda stuck looking for the positives. I’m sure there were some in there, I just can’t remember for the life of me what they were.

  6. Xotes says:

    I’m honestly surprised Chris actually managed to save the one masked generic soldier. Usually, with horrible monsters lurking above people in cutscenes, the generic dudes die to show off how big and bad it is.

    Now, if those squaddies survive into actual gameplay parts instead of just being cutscene fodder, I’d be pretty happy. I like having mostly expendable allies that you can still save if you put your mind to it, like the occasional wounded marines in Vanquish.