Neigh Chance: CLOP

In real life, equestrianising is probably harder than running since controlling one’s own flesh-stilts should be a lot easier than controlling a large animal clenched between the thighs. That said, CLOP, QWOP’s brand new four-legged variant, isn’t as tough as its jelly-limbed ancestor. Maybe that’s because no one is riding the unicorn that’s clopping its way across the countryside, maybe that’s because of the grace of the mythical beast. I haven’t made it over the hill and, sadly, CLOP doesn’t tell me how far I did get. About a third of the way, going off the yellow arrow at the bottom. Find your rhythm and run like the wind.


  1. Mehall says:

    Rein in your excitement.

  2. magnus says:

    Now I know what Napoleon meant; ‘4 legs good, two legs bad.’ 3/4 through with a lame Unicorn.

  3. Koozer says:

    Well, there goes the afternoon.

  4. Spoon says:

    I tried to cheese the game by pulling myself along with the two front legs, eventually it activates LAME HORSE MODE. Amazing.

    • Groove says:

      Ditto, best game mode ever.

      Eventually, after much hard work my lamicorn did a flip and tumbled back down the entire hill.

  5. caddyB says:


    Well, I’m off to do some.. clopping, I guess.

  6. sinister agent says:

    should be a lot easier than controlling a large animal clenched between the thighs.

    Have you been talking to my wife?

  7. Mad Hamish says:

    Press H+K and J+L in succession for hilarious horse convulsions .

  8. BobbleHat says:

    Well, it’s slightly less difficult, and slightly less funny than QWOP. Best way I’ve found so far is to do that annoying drumming thing with your right hand fingers over the 4 keys, starting from L. It mimics a fairly crude and rough version of a gallop. Horse-play, if you will…

    • LionsPhil says:

      I find it easier to drum HJKL in that order, but I still poing over backwards on the hill at the slightest provocation. (You can switch to a trot by alternating HJ and KL…doesn’t help much.)

  9. LionsPhil says:

    I am apparently a terrible horse.

    • Bhazor says:

      Who’s a silly pony?
      (You’re a silly pony)
      Who is?
      (You is)

    • caddyB says:

      You’re just a Bad Horse.

      • LimeWarrior says:

        Bad Horse! Bad Horse! He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin. He got the application you just sent in. It needs evaluation, so let the games begin. A heinous crime, a show of force (a murder would be nice, of course).

        Bad Horse! Bad Horse! The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware. The grade that you receive will be your last, we swear. So make the Bad Horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare . . .

        Get saddled up. There’s no recourse. It’s Hi-Ho Silver. Signed Bad Horse.

  10. Shazbut says:

    Is it possible to be good at this?

  11. Gasmask Hero says:

    Best played whilst under the influence of alcohol.

  12. Srethron says:

    If anyone actually makes it to the end, please let me know if it’s as trolltastic as p0nd. Because there’s no way I’ll make it.

  13. Andy_Panthro says:

    Considering my best at QWOP is about 5.4 metres, I seem to be much better at horsing around. The little character portraits and general style do remind me of Ultima VII too!

  14. LionsPhil says:

    It’s a Twilight-falling-down-the-stairs simulator!