In real life, equestrianising is probably harder than running since controlling one’s own flesh-stilts should be a lot easier than controlling a large animal clenched between the thighs. That said, CLOP, QWOP’s brand new four-legged variant, isn’t as tough as its jelly-limbed ancestor. Maybe that’s because no one is riding the unicorn that’s clopping its way across the countryside, maybe that’s because of the grace of the mythical beast. I haven’t made it over the hill and, sadly, CLOP doesn’t tell me how far I did get. About a third of the way, going off the yellow arrow at the bottom. Find your rhythm and run like the wind.
03/08/2012 at 15:10 Mehall says:
Rein in your excitement.
03/08/2012 at 15:12 stblr says:
Don’t be such a neigh-sayer.
03/08/2012 at 15:14 Mehall says:
I just think I mare have to trot off and try it first.
03/08/2012 at 15:16 SandmanXC says:
Cut it out with this foal humor.
03/08/2012 at 15:20 The_B says:
It was inevitable we’d get saddled with horse puns, what a ‘mare.
03/08/2012 at 16:02 HothMonster says:
These jokes make me so mad I could throw a shoe.
03/08/2012 at 17:48 AimHere says:
Stop nagging us!
03/08/2012 at 18:12 SRTie4k says:
I feel I must anguish at these terrible puns.
03/08/2012 at 15:17 Surlywombat says:
I’ll be braying to god I can do better at this than at qwop.
03/08/2012 at 17:02 ZIGS says:
Stop all these puns and focus on the mane issue here
03/08/2012 at 20:13 Jengaman says:
There’s no way you canter whinny… ..chaps
03/08/2012 at 21:46 egg-zoo-bear-ant will e 91 says:
ATlest this time it’s a stable build.
03/08/2012 at 15:25 tKe says:
If the previous games are anything to go by, this shod be a challenge.
03/08/2012 at 16:00 tambjo says:
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03/08/2012 at 16:06 caddyB says:
Stop horsing around with the comment system.
03/08/2012 at 17:13 Muzman says:
Why? Plenty to stirr up the spirit there.
03/08/2012 at 15:13 magnus says:
Now I know what Napoleon meant; ‘4 legs good, two legs bad.’ 3/4 through with a lame Unicorn.
03/08/2012 at 15:21 Koozer says:
Well, there goes the afternoon.
03/08/2012 at 15:40 Spoon says:
I tried to cheese the game by pulling myself along with the two front legs, eventually it activates LAME HORSE MODE. Amazing.
03/08/2012 at 15:57 Groove says:
Ditto, best game mode ever.
Eventually, after much hard work my lamicorn did a flip and tumbled back down the entire hill.
03/08/2012 at 15:58 caddyB says:
Clop? HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAH
HAHAHAH
Well, I’m off to do some.. clopping, I guess.
03/08/2012 at 16:57 RedViv says:
Ssssh, Queen Tara said to keep this out of the public.
03/08/2012 at 16:34 sinister agent says:
Have you been talking to my wife?
03/08/2012 at 17:31 Mad Hamish says:
Press H+K and J+L in succession for hilarious horse convulsions .
03/08/2012 at 17:36 BobbleHat says:
Well, it’s slightly less difficult, and slightly less funny than QWOP. Best way I’ve found so far is to do that annoying drumming thing with your right hand fingers over the 4 keys, starting from L. It mimics a fairly crude and rough version of a gallop. Horse-play, if you will…
03/08/2012 at 17:43 LionsPhil says:
I find it easier to drum HJKL in that order, but I still poing over backwards on the hill at the slightest provocation. (You can switch to a trot by alternating HJ and KL…doesn’t help much.)
03/08/2012 at 17:41 LionsPhil says:
I am apparently a terrible horse.
03/08/2012 at 18:38 Bhazor says:
Who’s a silly pony?
(You’re a silly pony)
Who is?
(You is)
LionsPhil.
03/08/2012 at 19:01 caddyB says:
You’re just a Bad Horse.
06/08/2012 at 07:55 LimeWarrior says:
Bad Horse! Bad Horse! He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin. He got the application you just sent in. It needs evaluation, so let the games begin. A heinous crime, a show of force (a murder would be nice, of course).
Bad Horse! Bad Horse! The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware. The grade that you receive will be your last, we swear. So make the Bad Horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare . . .
Get saddled up. There’s no recourse. It’s Hi-Ho Silver. Signed Bad Horse.
03/08/2012 at 18:16 Shazbut says:
Is it possible to be good at this?
03/08/2012 at 18:33 Mad Hamish says:
You’re good when you hear the music.
03/08/2012 at 18:53 kuus says:
link to is.gd
03/08/2012 at 20:03 Gasmask Hero says:
Best played whilst under the influence of alcohol.
03/08/2012 at 20:39 linzhanes says:
link to lad.im
03/08/2012 at 22:57 Srethron says:
If anyone actually makes it to the end, please let me know if it’s as trolltastic as p0nd. Because there’s no way I’ll make it.
03/08/2012 at 23:09 Andy_Panthro says:
Considering my best at QWOP is about 5.4 metres, I seem to be much better at horsing around. The little character portraits and general style do remind me of Ultima VII too!
04/08/2012 at 09:43 LionsPhil says:
It’s a Twilight-falling-down-the-stairs simulator!