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The Star Wars 1313 Trailer Is Every Trailer Ever

BRAAAANGGGG!

It has jump zooms, the Inception noise, a squeaky pulsing noise to denote horror and excitement, then an uncomfortably long sequence where nothing is on screen. Welcome to the trailer to end all trailers, a new look at the gritty shooter Star Wars 1313 that just strutted out of Trailer University waving a degree over its head. It’s keen to show you all the trailery tricks it learned in as short a space of time as possible. All it’s really missing is a voice over from That Guy and it’d be complete.

Despite burying the series at every opportunity (because I’m jaded and tired of giving it one more chance every time), I do still want a good Star Wars shooter, and this at least seems divorced from the recent piles of pap that have masqueraded as Jedi Masters. It has some Pew to it. But there are a lot of corridors and ‘interactive’ sequences that makes me wonder if the unholy shadow that Uncharted is casting is too deep and black and sticky for anything to escape. It’s even caught the game’s website in its depths: it appears to have an intro, but no content.

It currently has no release date, but I’d expect it to land in a year with ’13’ in it, and that the marketing people at LucasArts will be high-fiving all over at their calendarial luck.

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Craig Pearson

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