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Smashing: Castle Crashers Finally Coming To PC

Omigosh, kitty!

It has been a very good day for castles and PC gaming – although one could argue that it’s pretty difficult to have a bad day when you’re a giant stone triumph of human ingenuity (unless you’re being besieged or demolished and replaced with a McDonald’s). First, we received word that Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 is in the process of whipping up a PC version, and now wickedly fun 2D smash-’em-up Castle Crashers is headed our way as well. For the uninitiated, it’s madcap sidescrolling co-op with copious poop jokes that are somehow endearing. I don’t fully understand why I love it, but I’ve learned not to question these things.

The PC version will launch on Steam, so cloud support, achievements, and the like will all be coming along for the ride. Meanwhile, both online and local multiplayer are rounding out the package – which is excellent news, because this one’s at its best when played in the company of other people. That may not be the traditional Tao of our people, but half the fun of these sorts of games is laughing and shouting and not speaking to each other for a couple weeks because your so-called “friends” wouldn’t revive you.

According to, er, a poem, the release date’s currently “unknown” (which is then tastefully rhymed with “atone”), but it launched on Xbox nearly four years ago – so what’s a bit more waiting? Plus, The Behemoth – contrary to its gentle giant of a name – is actually quite tiny and nice. If you poke its tummy, it emits an adorable gurgle and barely devours your entire arm at all. The Alien Hominid maker is, in other words, not capable of converting into a giant port factory, so these things take time.

Regardless, I have opted to email them asking – among other things – why, after all these years, now, and also whether or not BattleBlock Theater is planned for PC in any capacity. You’ll have answers to both as soon as I do.

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Nathan Grayson


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