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This Advergame Dishonors Dishonored

Sir, there's a rat on your... it's just sort of... oh, never mind.

I fully endorse the idea of advertising videogames with other videogames – especially when it’s done cleverly, ala Borderlands 2’s recent 2D demake. I mean, it’s sort of the logical conclusion to these things, right? Who wants to look at screenshots or watch a trailer when they can clomp through a world on their own three WASD fingers? And hey, Dishonored‘s looking incredible. Really, is there a more natural fit? That brings us to Dishonored: Revenge At Hand, which is… a game about watching trailers. Huh. And so, in this version of Dishonored’s honor, I have decided to revive my “Oops, I broke Dishonored” series.

Can I… attack anything at all? — Nope.

Can I… use any powers? — Nuh-uh. But I can collect icons for a few of them and watch (admittedly entertaining) trailers of each one in action.

Can I… jump? — Totally!

Can I… jump well? — Not even a little. It’s really awkward and floaty.

Can I… die? — Yes, but I just respawned inches away from the site of my ill-fated plunge.

Can I… see a giant flying whale? — You betcha.

Can I… ride the giant flying whale? — Nope. I tried. Passed right through the transcendent marine mammal and fell to my death. My ability to smile never recovered.

Can I… uncover any backstory? — A little? Kind of? So here’s the general idea: “Your hand bears the mark of The Outsider – a gift that makes you a powerful supernatural assassin. Enter the world of The Outsider and see where your powers came from.” But any and all pertinent info I uncovered was delivered either a) very obvious promotional trailer or b) nicely atmospheric but very vague voiceovers. Also…

Can I… find the secret hidden icon? — NO. Not even a little. I retraced every bit of the level, like, five times, too. Maybe I’m doing something wrong? Regardless, if the secret icon leads to some big reveal, I unfortunately don’t know about it. You’re welcome to have a go at it yourself, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Yeah, the world is a neat mix of ethereal dreamscape and Dishonored props, but it’s not really any fun to be in.

Can I… do anything with Jello? — If only. If only.

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Nathan Grayson


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