A Postcard Soaked In Kerosene: Far Cry 3’s Side-Quests

Mission accomplished: have arm stolen by crocodile. $27 has been deposited into your account.

OK, so I’m starting to warm up to this “Agent Huntley” narrator guy Ubisoft’s got talking us through the most recent Far Cry 3 videos. He’s basically a more tropical Max Payne – which, given recent events in Max Payne’s life, means he’s basically just Max Payne. The above headline, for instance, is all Huntley – so strong is my love for his vaguely coherent, gleefully grim ruminations. If ever I have a child, they will be raised from day one on a steady diet of these slurry linguistic soups, such that they may one day have full command of their┬ánonsensically noir-ish powers. But until then, let’s talking about Far Cry! There’s tons to do, as you’ll see below – including hallucinogenic drugs, gambling, and wildlife-slaying. This will be the first game I present to my hypothetical incoherent noir children, I think.

So, with the exception of mixing up drugs, the actual side missions sound fairly standard – but, you know, with a whole, whole lot of it. Among other things, you can capture outposts to aid in fast travel, make deliveries for island natives, craft things, hunt other things, or play cards and risk getting your arm torn off by a seemingly unrelated crocodile.

Granted, side missions can be tricky things. Don’t get me wrong: Far Cry 3 looks to have some pretty serious open world chops, but will these missions just be infinitely repeatable filler, or will there be some actual substance lurking in their depths? For now, we’ll have to be content with waiting until Far Cry 3’s happily DRM-free November 29th launch to find out.

Now then, does anyone know what “shot full of more holes than soda water” means? No, no, don’t tell me. It’ll spoil the magic.


  1. Moni says:

    ‘Staring reptilian eye’ tag?

    • anark10n says:

      Eye has to be front and centre for that sort of tag, i would think…

  2. povu says:

    Watching Far Cry 3 videos is a breath of fresh air after playing a bit of Far Cry 2 just now. Too much brown…

  3. Askeladd says:

    This could be good.

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

      Far Cry 2 with the profound flaws of Far Cry 2 eliminated and hints of a genuinely unsettling and psychological narrative… could be very, very good.

  4. Drinking with Skeletons says:

    But will everyone in the game talk in an extremely fast monotone? I HAVE TO KNOW!

    • dontnormally says:


    • Premium User Badge

      Aerothorn says:

      This was my favorite part of Far Cry 2. I still need to finish it. Couldn’t get over the endless checkpoints.

      • Magnetude says:

        But the checkpoints are where the fun is! Here’s a tip for anyone who couldn’t get into FC2: don’t worry about trying to play it from start to finish. Download a savegame from the 3rd act so you have all the areas and some good guns. Set the difficulty to hard or nightmare. Pick a point on the map and try to get there. I defy you not to have at least some fun.

  5. Sparkasaurusmex says:

    I was interpreting the skill for bending over to pick up guns to be a skill for the specific gun you’re trying to get. If you don’t have the skill for it it’s useless. That would at least make more sense than a skill to pick up dropped weapons.

  6. DiamondDog says:

    What they should do is have one of the drugs you can take be the only way to change your FOV.

    • Jac says:

      That would be genius. In fact they should just replace the entire graphics option menu with a trip to the local friendly drug baron. I’ll probably need a couple of doses of the jagged edge pill to turn off AA so it’ll run on my pc.

  7. philbot says:

    I pre-ordered this one on a whim a while back. I’m glad I did now with the DRM announcements and this awesome looking content. I say bring it on!

  8. eks says:

    I’m going to wait for RPS to do a “wot I think”, but I’m actually excited for this game now since Ubi announced less DRM.

    As a side note Nathan, you really, really shouldn’t use the term “DRM-Free”. Ubisoft said nothing about going DRM free, only that they won’t be using always-on DRM. Let’s not give them a free pass to start equating “Not using the most heinous of DRM” to mean “DRM-Free” please. Plenty of indie devs and places like GOG actually use the term “DRM-Free” to actually mean no DRM at all, so it’s not like the term isn’t used correctly in the industry,

    • Wut The Melon says:

      Yes, please, RPS, there are enough words that have been completely butchered meaningless in the video games world (or indeed on the internet) that we don’t need any more of them.

  9. SouperSteve0 says:


  10. DuddBudda says:

    ‘shot full of more holes than soda water’


    Hawken’s ‘a well oiled axe in a steady hand can turn the tide’ has a challenger

    • Adventurous Putty says:

      No — Hawken did not just mix those metaphors. I refuse to believe it. It’s impossible. No one, not even a marketing department, could publish such ludicrous stupidity.

    • MarloBrandon says:

      I don’t see what the problem is. Soda water has gas bubbles in it, which are effectively holes in the water. It has very many of them, so the analogy is a nice way of saying that the guy would have many bullet holes in him. Of course, the soda water is not SHOT full of holes, so maybe that’s what you have a problem with? Or did you not get the analogy between gas bubbles and bullet holes?

      • Saul Bottcher says:

        A hole is an opening *through* something, not a pocket inside something. So yeah, the metaphor is totally wrong.

        • MarloBrandon says:

          I haven’t thought of it that way, but I’m not convinced that the word is limited to meaning “an opening through something”. The dictionary I’m using (WordWeb) lists the meanings:
          1. An opening into or through something

          4. An unoccupied space

  11. DaftPunk says:

    Don’t wanny hype this,remember FC2 footage and the end result lol..

    • Shooop says:

      You don’t play FPS games, I can tell.

      • bigblack says:

        Shooop, you do a great impression of an asshole. Ironically, the fact that you have nothing good at all to say about FC2 indicates to me that you, in fact, are the one who knows nothing about first-person games. So there.

    • Arglebargle says:

      Most irritating FPS that coulda been a contenda! Fortunately I only wasted $5 on it.

  12. HisMastersVoice says:

    Isn’t this the first time we had the chance to get a glimpse of the map for the game? Looks pretty big.

  13. Billzor says:

    Is that the voice of a Baldwin brother?

  14. Milky1985 says:

    As long as those outposts you can take don’t respawn enemies in them the moment you leave like in far cry 2 this is actually sounding quite good!

    I’m even fine with enemies respawning after say a day or two of game time (showing them being taken back by enemies , further away from the “front line” longer it takes to take) as long as its not go 3 mintues away, go back for supplies oh look everyones back again!

    • pi8you says:

      The outposts are probably more like the safe houses in FC2, rather than the respawning road checkpoints, but hopefully the latter have gotten an overhaul as well.

      Right now I’m pretty optimistic, and even eager, for the game, but because of the DRM nonsense that Ubi’s been up to, I’m going to wait and see how that actually shakes out before picking it up.

  15. Mr. Mister says:

    “…and kidnaps hostages.”

    Is that some sort of inception?

  16. Droopy The Dog says:

    I’d have gone for a Peter Pan reference for the picture alt text, but I guess that’s because I’m still on a mental level with children.

  17. The Random One says:

    Invisible Noir Children used to be great, but they’ve really gone downhill since they went mainstream.

  18. Iskariot says:

    This game is going to be great. I have no doubt about it at all.

  19. DigitalSignalX says:

    Really? Haven’t we moved past “Inception wub wub” in video game trailers yet?