Steal Incredible Prizes: Win Monaco Closed Beta Keys!

UPDATE: Andy has chose the winners. Check your email later tonight to see if you won. Winners list is here.

IGF winning heist game Monaco – which I can report is fairly brilliant – is having a closed beta. Yes, very closed, only a select few people are invited. And some of those people are you. Well, if you can be clever, anyway. Developer Andy Schatz is reading, and he’s going to pick ten commenters from this thread to receive access to the beta. The keys will be sent to your RPS-registered email address by me, so if you can’t check that for whatever reason, you might want to provide another. For your comment, please reason why you should get a key in verse. Haiku and limericks would be preferred.

Oldish Monaco footage below, too.


  1. Vorrin says:

    wow, free beta that’s a steal! (and my wit is unexistant today, tough luck I guess -_- )

    • Norskov says:

      Cling to first post
      Same lack of wit
      My hope is toast
      I’ll throw a fit

    • zind says:

      There once was a man from Kent.
      He barely could pay his rent.
      A steam sale came,
      he bought no game,
      because his wallet was spent.

    • Artifex00 says:

      I will steal your
      Key if you do not
      Give it to me?

      (For legal reasons I am not really stealing anything nor do I condone it)

    • BestFriends4Ever says:

      hatsu shigure
      saru mo komino wo
      Monaco nari.

    • smurfy911 says:

      Stealthy pickpocket and lookout save the day,
      by watching our opposition like prey,
      we sneak in like a fox,
      by guards who lumber like ox,
      and merrily prance away.

      Hacker and locksmith broke us in,
      both as quiet as dropping pin,
      then we grabbed all we could,
      meanwhile spilling no blood,

      Around the Lights, lasers and guards,
      it’s more risky than playing the cards,
      we’re trying to cheat the casino,
      then sneak off to Rio,
      tales shall be sung by the bards!

    • 3del says:

      Diebe ziehen ein
      und bringen ihn um seine Habe:
      armer Stadtstaat Monaco.

      Thieves move in
      and mulct it of it’s chattels:
      poor citystate Monaco

    • chwynn says:

      Rock Paper Shotgun is great,
      Just like a really good mate,
      My rhyming is bad,
      and Monaco’s rad,
      so give me a copy for free!

    • silentplanet says:

      To steal the game key!
      No other way would be right.
      Expect to be robbed.

    • pwndabr says:

      Antelope felon,
      Quixotic theft, fruit for loot,
      Cantaloupe melon.

    • Totally heterosexual says:

      Nice haiku
      would rape again
      How weird is that?

    • HaikuWin says:

      A triple-haiku, just for you (this also rhymes. +1):

      Sigh I was at work
      How am I meant to compete
      I am become fail.

      As-if page seven
      I really would rather cheat
      I apologise!

      An account I made
      Simply for this beta key
      Have mercy on me..

    • Bruski says:

      Line of sight is key
      Don’t forget the pet monkey
      Savior he will be

    • S Jay says:

      hey, pick me
      for the beta key

      I am terrible with rhyming, honey
      So shut up and take my money!

      • monomilkman says:

        My first name: Ryan
        My last name be Monaco
        What more need be said?

        now if only I didn’t miss the deadline…booo

    • Jerakal says:

      The thief left it behind:
      a key
      in my e-mail.

    • Steven Smith says:

      What’s your’s is mine, oh no you don’t, it’s mine IT’S ALL MINE!!!!

      ^ not very clever or amusing but I’m an avid supporter of this game’s development & would be willing complete a large assortment of highly unpleasant tasks to have the chance to have a early sneaky peak at your masterpiece & try to provide some constructive feedback.

  2. virgil says:

    I’ve been waiting for this game forever, incredibly excited for it.

    • Kourage says:

      Here is my hopeful haiku for a heroic heist game.

      Locksmith, Lookout, Mole,
      Hacker, Hobo, Gentleman,
      Redhead, Cleaner….Thieves

      Good luck to all the amazingly clever words here, and good luck to those that have to choose just a few.

      Edit: I just noticed I replied to a post when I meant to make my own. Forgive me.

  3. Mitheor says:

    The trailer plays
    My wait has come to an end
    Monaco right here.

    • Burc says:

      In a real Haiku
      One should always mention spring
      You should know that, duh.

  4. icupnimpn2 says:

    A haiku:

    First first first first first
    First first first first first first first
    First first first dang Vorrin

    • Fanbuoy says:

      I vote for this one
      The fail is hilarious
      I’ll wait for release

  5. Hexidecimal says:

    Indie Games Unite
    Small Dev Teams Are The Future
    Monaco Is King

    There is my Haiku entry. This game looks awesome. Good Luck Everyone!

  6. Hearticle says:

    If I were to win a beta key, I would adopt ten kittens and bathe them in sweet tender loving.

  7. groovychainsaw says:

    i like to steal things
    but prefer to be given
    a monaco key….

  8. slymcbeans says:

    Even though I never win anything like this, I always give it a shot. Been following Monaco for a while now, getting a chance to help in the beta would be fantastic. Good luck to all!
    My entry:

    To do such a heist
    A caper of such large scope
    Would be an honor

  9. Armitage says:

    Monaco looks great,
    excited to play it soon,
    I want a beta key.

  10. borso says:

    I’m waiting for this,
    a long time ago go go,
    my soul is empty.

  11. BlueMaxima says:

    A thief to steal a beta key
    Which unlucky fellow shall it be
    To win the contest which requires wit
    Or be tossed into the developer’s pit
    Of stupid entries and silly bits
    But to win this key would be the tits
    So I shall ask this, it’d be quite dandy
    Monaco please, my dear Andy

    • Hexidecimal says:

      *clap clap clap* Nice one.

      • BlueMaxima says:

        Thanks, wrote it in less than two minutes at midnight and I’m tired after playing a marathon round of Borderlands 2 :P

  12. Lim-Dul says:

    Quickly steal a key?
    Perhaps seduce Andy Schatz
    Just like the Redhead.

  13. pakoito says:

    Please RPS,
    give me one of the keys
    cannot haiku

  14. sissyneck says:

    My 10-year old, Dylan, and I
    Are looking for a new game to buy.
    We’d like a lot of the lootin’,
    Not quite-so-much of the shootin’,
    So as to avoid another situation like the time when he had nightmares after playing Borderlands with me because of images of killing lunatic midgets (and also was inadvertently introduced to the term “lady parts” by Scooter).

  15. StevoIRL says:

    How come the genre of stealth is so neglected yet it’s clearly one of the most thrilling forms of gameplay available?

  16. DumbparameciuM says:

    There once was a man from Australia
    He wasn’t great at writing limericks.
    Because he played Torchlight two for like eight hours straight
    Can I have a fucking beta key plz kthx.

  17. Zeknurn says:

    I should not win.

  18. Amaraen says:

    He’s reading this!? Oh I feel so… validated.

  19. squareking says:

    There once was a poster named Unaco
    Who wanted to play the game Monaco.
    He posted a lot,
    But ’twas all for naught
    …Please give access to squareking instead.

  20. EddieV says:

    I want this Monaco game
    So that I can steal it, run away
    And not feel the same
    As everybody else who chime
    About making a rhyme!

  21. Kairased says:

    Thievery abounds
    Beta keys stolen by me
    You can all suck it

  22. CubeSoldier says:

    A Stealth Game? AND COOP?! That’s the most amazign thing ever! Getting into the beta would be awesome

  23. Scoops says:

    Stealing makes my loins warm… Therefor, I would like a beta key so my man jibbles don’t implode on themselves. Thank you Andy, you’ve made a sweet game!

  24. DanHaggar says:

    Because i’m Jamaican, and not a national export.

  25. capn.lee says:

    I think I should win because I’ve enclosed a tenner, mums the word

  26. Joe Average says:

    A haiku:

    Following for years
    Played a lot with friends at PAX
    Broke your demo twice

  27. xcession says:

    There was a younger gamer called Dave
    Who’s skills at rhyming weren’t good
    He said “Give me a key or I’ll steal it for free”
    But no, honestly I wouldn’t please can I have a beta.

  28. NachoPiggy says:

    Free stuff is good
    Game free about steal
    Stealing game about stealing
    for free
    yes, toaster

  29. Pascual says:

    Played this game at PAX
    Now I miss it and want more
    Beta key to the max!!

  30. hudcrab says:

    Oh, oh oh, me please!

  31. Arachneus says:

    Opinion about “why i should get the beta key”
    Neither is
    Charity nor

    It be
    Long or
    Light ?

    Beloved jury,
    Excuse my English.

    My country
    Is France.
    Now please, read the real message behind
    Each first letter.


  32. PoissonPilote says:

    I love stealing stuff
    But it might get me in jail
    I need monaco

  33. The Sombrero Kid says:

    I should get a key,
    in case that I don’t,
    On the furniture I will pee.

  34. bigdirtyphil says:

    For your consideration my good sirs. A beta key, por favor.

  35. JackShandy says:


    *clicking sounds, bongos*

  36. Silversunfrenzy says:

    Yes I have been following Monaco
    which some have considered ironic, no
    my love is sincere
    so please have no fear
    a beta key tips the first Domino

  37. BobSagat says:

    The Andy Schatz here?
    Are you really reading this?
    I think you’re handsome. :)

  38. William Bundy says:

    Strange dreams. Bank robbers?
    I awake, metamorphosed.

  39. PieInTheSky says:

    Monaco is a game in…
    which you rob things from people
    Andy Schatz is pretty.

  40. Visualante says:

    My desktop wallpaper features a white church under a stained glass looking sky. Reminds me a little of Hitman Blood Money’s final level.

  41. NetsukeMonkey says:

    So my three criminal pals and me,
    We wanted a Monaco key,
    We entered a verse
    (It wasn’t the worse)
    Then decided nah- forget this. Let’s break in to Pocketwatch tonight and just steal the beta keys – proper crim like.

  42. jakeroth says:

    the life of a thief
    stuffing gems in my pockets
    hanging out in ducts

  43. golem09 says:

    Time of the essence
    on my hands I have none
    a shame

  44. Marqaha says:

    oh, caffeine grant me
    the cleverness to earn me
    a Monaco key

    Hmm, I might need more coffee. How about if I ask nicely? May I please have a Monaco beta key?

  45. Mike says:

    There once was a thief from old Kilgarrick,
    Who stole the last line of this limerick,
    The reason, as you’ll see,
    Why we both wanted that key,

  46. Miltage says:

    As far as indie games go,
    This one’ll likely steal the show,
    So please Mr Schatz,
    Ignore these other prats,
    I’d love a chance at Monaco.

    No offense to other commenters.

  47. thordur says:

    I’m pretty excited to play it and I have been following the development for some time now. Sorry, no haiku but I got a 3 years old imac which is has a horrible graphics card(geforce 9400m, it sucks), so it might be good to see how well the game runs on it?

  48. whexican says:

    The Locksmith can handle the locks
    While the gentlemen changes his smocks
    The redhead can distract
    Any guards we attract
    And the mole can just tunnel though rocks.

    So that is my plan
    To stick it to the man,
    and empty out all of his stocks.

  49. McDan says:

    Playing Monaco,
    it would be the greatest time,
    RPS is best.

  50. thijmenbink says:

    I once stole from a candystore
    icecream cones but then nevermore
    But if I’d get a key
    then baby I’d be
    heisting ice till I’m breathing no more