Steal Incredible Prizes: Win Monaco Closed Beta Keys!

UPDATE: Andy has chose the winners. Check your email later tonight to see if you won. Winners list is here.

IGF winning heist game Monaco – which I can report is fairly brilliant – is having a closed beta. Yes, very closed, only a select few people are invited. And some of those people are you. Well, if you can be clever, anyway. Developer Andy Schatz is reading, and he’s going to pick ten commenters from this thread to receive access to the beta. The keys will be sent to your RPS-registered email address by me, so if you can’t check that for whatever reason, you might want to provide another. For your comment, please reason why you should get a key in verse. Haiku and limericks would be preferred.

Oldish Monaco footage below, too.


  1. Wraiths says:

    Roes are Red
    Violets are blue
    Monaco is in beta
    Let me in too

  2. evilpancakes says:

    I cant wait for this to come out!

  3. lHloopla says:

    Andy, Austin heist later today
    I will be the best lookout
    Success is on the way

  4. Fata1raccoon says:

    I made an account just for this key.
    Will I get it? I guess we will see.
    There’s comments for six pages
    Monaco’s been in production for ages
    When it comes out I will jump with glee!

    And Bonus Haiku!
    What’s yours is now mine
    A Hobo with a shotgun
    Monkey, grab the loot.

  5. phort99 says:

    I have a trained monkey.
    He will steal all your riches
    and dance on your head.

  6. Immortal68 says:

    I may not be Shakespeare, Kafka, or Poe
    And my words may not be of power
    But I would defeat the mightiest foe
    Without fear climb the highest tower
    In order to win
    This battle I’m in
    For this game in its finest hour.

  7. Naivedo says:

    Instead of a clever post, I am going to try for factual. I have tested over 67 video games in the last 17 years. For a more detailed list, check out my LinkedIn profile @ link to and go to view full profile. I can also send a list of all the video games I have played in my life, including games tested. The testing includes a mix of Alpha; Close, Open, and Stress Tested based Betas; and play testing in-person. I have a lot of experience and for the next three months, I am only working part-time.

    • Vesuvius says:

      Instructions sometimes
      Are important. To test well:
      Listen, heed, then act.

  8. tgunter says:

    This Monaco game looked quite funky,
    So I thought “I’ll just snag myself one key”,
    I hired some twins,
    To help break my way in,
    But in the end I just needed a monkey.

  9. Dorga says:

    There once was a thief in the casino
    That got caught by a a guard;
    But he quickly hid in a plant
    and so the guard couldn’t pay the rent

  10. Inglourious Badger says:

    There was a young man, Antonio,
    Who wanted to play Monaco,
    But lacking a key,
    Took up thievery,
    And now he is in Jail-y-oh.


  11. AndySchatz says:

    Hey all, I’m cutting it off now, trying to narrow my list down from my 17 favorites :)

    • VanishedDecoy says:

      I received the call,
      but was apparently late…
      Oh confound it all!

  12. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    To a budding ballerina from Belgetta,
    where the boldened bounders bid her home to bed her,
    a buttered batter blin
    would be brilliant to begin
    but a bally burglar beta would be better.

    EDIT: Gah. Timing, eh?

  13. shadowyluke says:

    Hey! This game looks amazing… mind if I join in and help to make it better? :D

  14. Cosmonaut Zero says:

    Peeing your way out,
    They’re on your tail so hurry.
    Feature. Not a bug.

    (I was in the group at PAX last year who blew a hole through the bathroom wall right behind a toilet. You had to “use” the toilet for like 30 seconds, and then it would put you on top of it, and you could step off either direction. We used it as our entrance, got the stuff and went to leave the same way. We stumbled onto some guards just outside the bathroom. So my final memory of Monaco is our whole crew frantically peeing into the same toilet with guards running around trying to find us.)

    EDIT: Aw, timing. I shouldn’t have appended my entire life story, apparently.)

    • AndySchatz says:

      That group was awesome :) I’ll try to get in all our old PAX buddies later, but for now it’s just a lucky fellowship of 10

  15. Woseseltops says:

    If there’s still room for more testers, I would really like to betatest this game as well. I’ve been following it for some time, and it seems great!

  16. SuffixTreeMonkey says:

    English not my first,
    my comment lies deep beneath:
    this is not my day.

  17. notminebydesign says:

    Born in ’83
    Monaco is like Orange Pop
    It taste like childhood.

  18. JBantha says:

    Fuck this, I speak Spanish.
    Betas are the king of the Danish.
    G… I don’t fucking now, this is my sixth attempt of making some kind of rhyme, haiku, or riff. Really, this is tiresome! I don’t know what else to do! I should… yeah!

    RPS is red,
    The first hacker is blue.
    You give me the beta
    and I’ll like you!


  19. Aramax says:

    The old gamer looked away
    Desperate for some new gadget to bring joy!
    Found gaming for the first time again

  20. JoeX111 says:

    The walls closing in
    She points a gun at my heart
    Seconds tick away

  21. TazzGo says:

    Bored at work.
    Hear a bang.
    The building shook
    Another clang!

    Shaken and stirred
    Peer out the window
    See not even a bird
    Only a shadow

    A dark shape moves
    Carrying a sack
    Looks like a stooge
    Under all that burlap

    Sirens roll in fast
    As the thief vanishes into the gloom
    The blue and red cast
    They search the vacant left by the boom

    They look all over, its a real test
    No sign of the monaco keys
    Taken by the best
    All he left was some stale cheese

    After the commotion
    I return to my station
    Finding something better than a promotion
    A beta key from the break in!

    (Please excuse typos, done from my phone!)

  22. hnk says:

    My addiction can’t
    be easily subdued by
    a trailer alone!

  23. Leandro says:

    There once was a man from Brazil
    A gentleman’s heart, nerves of steel
    He wanted a key
    He’s your guy, you see
    He already knows how to steal

  24. Vesuvius says:

    Ghosted Thief, Hitman
    Deus Ex and A.P.
    Love the stealth genre

    Sneak, Hack, Run, Hide, Steal
    The loot was far too tempting
    Spotted! Run for it!

  25. godfatherbrak says:

    There once was a teacher from the plain
    who had some students who drove him insane
    it was his not to shoot, but to pick up the loot
    or on monday, he might act the same.

  26. iisjreg says:

    They said I couldn’t do it.
    They said it’d be one comment too many.
    Well, I’ll show them.
    I’ll do it without anybody even realising.
    They won’t know what hit ’em.
    This time next year…

  27. xingped says:

    Monaco, the tale of thieves,
    Who steal and rob whomever they please.
    Get in, get out, get rich they say,
    A dangerous game it is to play.
    Let us help you that wealth, oh marquise!

  28. archagon says:

    When Monaco did I first see,
    I still had a Pentium 3,
    Now I’d love to get ‘er,
    ‘Cause pixels look better,
    In glorious 1080p.


    When Monaco entered this place,
    A beard did appear on my face,
    And it won’t stop weavin’,
    Until I get thievin’,
    So please free me from this malaise!

  29. Cross says:

    Monaco looks like a steal, and really quite the spiel.
    Riches abound, with a bridge to be found.
    This key looks to be it.
    Give it up for free, or be held at gunpoint by me.

  30. Jubaal says:

    There once was a tough competition,
    To get beta access was the mission.
    I needed to show
    I was deserving to go,
    To Monaco, here’s my submission.

    • Jubaal says:

      I didn’t realise first of all that it had to be about why i should get a beta key so here is my first failed attempt. Mock away!

      There once was a programmer called Andy,
      At coding AI he was handy,
      He created a game,
      To stealth but not maim,
      this Monaco looks pretty dandy

  31. jktechwriter says:

    About news of Monaco’s release
    The writers at GeekDad want to tease.
    We’ve been wanting to steal,
    sneak, shoot, and heal.
    We’ll even throw in the magic word, please?

  32. FuzzieBoy says:

    Red thief is red,
    Blue thief is blue,
    Ooh look over there,
    Steal of of your money I do.

    I see you looking,
    I know you’re finding,
    But I’m in the shadows,
    You will not find me.

    If by some chance you do,
    It’s not impossible, that’s true,
    If by some small chance you do happen to win,
    Screw you.

  33. TechnicalBen says:

    How do I write a Haiku?
    To win a Beta when I’m desperate too?
    With doubt and fear I know not why,
    I’ll type it out, I want to try.
    So with my application I go,
    for the beta to MONACO!

  34. CaptainBirdsEye says:

    Stealth computer games
    Have a most proud history
    Behold, the greatest:

    Thief: The Dark Project
    Gave us tension, excitement
    And stealing galore

    Metal Gear Solid
    Brought fun times on Shadow Moses
    Smoke showed up lasers

    Clancy’s Splinter Cell
    Let us stalk through the dark with
    Night vision goggles

    Hitman: Blood Money
    Had disguises, we dragged foes
    To an early grave

    And now Monaco,
    A band of friends plan heists, and
    say: What’s Yours Is Mine!

  35. Amun says:

    You can’t get what you had asked.
    He said to the poets amassed.
    The commenters thought,
    And then were distraught,
    Because the keys have already been passed!

  36. Continuities says:

    Give me Monaco
    Or I will burn your silly
    Website to the ground.

  37. Kamikaze_Tutor says:

    I’ve got this problem with games,
    I explore without control.
    And no geometry stops me
    from falling through the world.

    For fun I’ll play your game,
    I just don’t have much luck.
    And you’ll soon find out
    if it’s broken as f

  38. jythanatos says:

    Curtains flutter
    A Winter breeze steals through the room
    All coins, Gone

  39. MacTheGeek says:

    limerick haiku
    once was girl from Nantucket
    shit, you know the rest

  40. Iwannagofast123 says:

    Been following Monaco for a while, and ive been following and reading RPS for a while. Just now created an account to test my luck at Monaco.

  41. HatsAlEsman says:


  42. SouperSteve0 says:

    Monaco endures?
    It has hidden like a theif.
    A sneaky bastard.

  43. CharlO says:

    Two tires fly, Two wail.
    A bamboo grove, all chopped down
    From it, warring songs.

    That’s what I think about when I read Haiku.

  44. Gene Parmesan says:

    I am ecstatic.
    I want to play Monaco

  45. mercurywaters says:

    Audio version Here

    if i can infiltrate your limelight
    with two hands and a flashlight
    imagine what amazing feats of prestidigitation
    i can evoke in a half life
    four more pairs of hands an angle and half a man
    could score a hundred fifty grand

    and thats a conservative estimate
    the overall message is
    that i’m the greatest thief
    since the cooper gang dewinged that flying metal beast]
    or moriarity pickpocted watson in the middle of the street

    in other words a beast
    monaco’s a natural progression
    know the blessing and the curse of the bottom of purse
    after its snatched petty thief 22 catched
    now i’m back on the block palms full of your stash

    four player soothsayer my prediction is this
    top down oceans 11’s a definite hit
    more clever when the ski masks fitted
    keeping the rhythm blackout
    keeping it hidden until i cash out

  46. niasyn says:

    Pet monkey,
    Do your magic!
    Pet monkey!
    Stop those bullets!
    So tragic.

  47. sophism says:

    She grew up in old Monaco,
    But she left the place long, long ago,
    Her friend said, “I’ll take ya
    With me to Jamaica,”
    And so she replied, “Mon, I go.”

    Although I’m proud of that one, here’s one that actually references why I want the key:

    Hacking is evil
    Stealing, a horrible crime
    …If not played co-op

  48. johnki says:

    I should get a key,
    Because I would like to play,
    The game with my family.

    Not quite well done, but true. Competitive games are always great family game night games.

  49. ap0ll0 says:

    Monaco oh you
    Excite me with beta you
    Monaco oh you

  50. golem09 says:

    One for the team,
    one for the job,
    everyone’s keen,
    a heist means to rob.

    A ballet of thieves,
    a dance to a tune
    the owner he grieves,
    he is not immune.

    Come guard,
    come trap,
    a camera ahead
    No one can stop
    the burglar attack.

    A ballet of thieves,
    I’d dance that tune,
    if Andy believes
    then I will be soon.