This Game Has A ‘Quip’ Button: Major Hertz

Slow Motion? Pfft, anyone can do that. Here's Major Hertz flying through the air in No Motion.

Yes, a “quip” button. Simply press Q and your burly space commando with a heart of gold and a gun of gun will grumble out a clumsy one-liner worthy of Sylvester Stallone himself. Which is to say, “Wait, what’d he just say?” Oh, but Major Hertz has other things too. Good things! While its incredibly overt parody of Biff McBlastochin games and film is worthy of quite a few chuckles, it’s actually a pretty novel take on over-the-top manshootery in its own right. Basically, it’s a parody game that’s actually fun. Imagine that.

Plenty of shooters can be described as extremely linear rollercoasters, but Major Hertz is actually a mega-linear rollercoaster ride – in a good way. In short, it’s all about high-speed forward motion. I pretty much ended up boosting all the time, which then led to topsy-turvy ceiling skating antics, weapon power-ups, and a higher score each time I mowed down the better part of humanity like an 18-wheeler through a field of defenseless daisies.

Also, a tip: ramps are your friend. Because they’re super rad and make slow-mo happen. What are the ’90s doing in my self-proclaimed “’80s badass simulator”? I have no idea, but I’m certainly not complaining.

So yes, everything blows up, baddies’ tiny score-shaped souls ascend to the glorious nirvana that is your point total, and then it all ends. Really quickly, actually – especially since I don’t think it’s really possible to die. Then again, Major Hertz is a student project, so I can’t fault it too much for being light on content. All told, it’s (slightly janky) high-speed fun for its incredibly short duration, so I’d love to see the idea expanded upon. Also, the quip button. God, this world needs more quip buttons.

Huh, sorry, what’s that? Ah, OK. Major Hertz himself just told me to send you off with this incredibly heartfelt message: “Hmmunrmuh… ruminahbuh… mykinda… space.” So… yep.


  1. JackDandy says:

    This looks great. I’m giving it a go.

  2. Mr. Mister says:

    These games need to happen with more Frequency.

  3. Gunsmith says:

    We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

  4. Kefren says:

    What are you, some kind of bottom-feeding, algae-eating scum-sucker?

  5. Serpok says:

    I remember a similar feature in first call of Juarez.
    Only it wasn’t a quip button, but an option to replace a gun in left hand with a bible and read from it during shootouts.

    • Shadowcat says:

      Personally I think this particular bar was set to a near-unreachable height with the immortal words: “Hey Stampede, how ’bout a poem?”

  6. Gap Gen says:

    Re the image alt-text: So, Zeno’s Paradox of the Videogame Hero?

  7. Sisco says:

    I actually held a cup of tea in my hand when he told me to put down my cup of tea! :O

  8. Srekel says:

    Cool! The Showdown Effect also has a ton of oneliners – a large set of them for each of the characters you can play, and heavily in line with action movies, brilliantly written by the top men at Arrowhead! :) Just listened through one of the character’s (secret for now) lines and they are absolutely brilliant, and the voice acting is excellent too. And I’m not just saying that. I bet you’ll have lots of laughs trying out the different characters and playing the game when it’s released.

  9. MadTinkerer says:


  10. Major Hertz says:

    Thanks for the awesome feedback! Hope you guys all enjoy playing Major Hertz!

    This game was made in 3 months by 5 students in the Game Design program at Vancouver Film School. The team is now seeking employment opportunities, but the possibility of bringing you more Hertz is still out there! (if there is enough hype) So please spread the word and share this if you want more badass action!

    We want to know what you think of Major Hertz!

    Keep Quipping!

    Major Hertz