I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I was a rock. What would I do if someone stepped on me? How would I wear my moss? Which historical art period would I most enjoy bulldozing if it were tastefully reimagined with a few extra elephants running amok? To its credit, ACE Team’s Rock of Ages does its best to simulate all concerns relevant to aspiring modern/post-modern rocks of all ages. It’s also very, very silly. No, the first (and to my knowledge, only) entry in the slowly-wear-down-artistically-themed-fortresses-with-upgradeable-boulders genre isn’t perfect, but its charms are undeniable. Plus, ACE Team’s still supporting it, and this weekend, you can try out the fruits of their labor for free.
The latest Rock of Ages update centers around multiplayer, and – as such – that’s the part of the game that’s free on Steam. The rest, however, happens to be 75 percent off at the moment, which means it’s a mere $2.49 more than free. That’s only expensive if you live exclusively off grocery store samples or recently invested most of your money in social games.
If you opt to give Rock of Ages a go this Halloween weekend, you’ll be greeted by upgraded matchmaking, AI practice waiting rooms for online multiplayer, and a guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-pumpkin-UI. Also a ghost boulder. Previous updates, meanwhile, have included new modes like Obstacle Course. So even if you took Rock of Ages for a spin at launch, it might be worth diving back in for a moment or two.
So, in short, to conclude, and without a moment to spare: rocks. Discuss.
27/10/2012 at 10:07 MrNash says:
Fun game. It’s a lot more entertaining than I thought a game about rolling a boulder down a hill while slowing down another guy’s boulder would be.
27/10/2012 at 10:21 tobecooper says:
Rocks, you say? I hear they are a great murdering weapon.
Someone should make a First Person Stoning Simulator.
27/10/2012 at 10:45 hypercrisis says:
I don’t think you described quite how silly Rock of Ages actually is
27/10/2012 at 11:33 Domino says:
For any comedy lover the first thing that would come to mind is it’s rather like Monty Python.
I’ve had the game since release, personally it was worth the full price, now it’s a bargain I hope the multiplayer picks up again.
28/10/2012 at 04:40 LintMan says:
My 3 kids all LOVED the cut scenes in between the levels Extreme silliness.
27/10/2012 at 10:51 RobF says:
Rock Of Ages has the best end boss in a game. THE best.
27/10/2012 at 10:53 Ross Angus says:
Ahem. Octodad: Ladder.
27/10/2012 at 11:12 RobF says:
When you’ve got a child eating ladder, we’ll talk. UNTIL THEN!
(but yeah, Octodad is pretty darn close)
27/10/2012 at 11:40 MeestaNob says:
I think a day or two is all anyone really needs with this game…
27/10/2012 at 14:45 SelfEsteemFund says:
Like every Activision, Ubisoft & EA game (=
27/10/2012 at 12:19 CountVlad says:
This is the only game where I’ve actually laughed at the trailer. Instant buy! :)
27/10/2012 at 12:36 InternetBatman says:
I downloaded the game, and I know it’s really cheap, but I’m still torn between buying it or not. It seems fun, but like it will only last three or four hours (I don’t really play multiplayer). I know that’s a bit parsimonious, but I already have a backlog so I’m trying to cut down game purchases.
27/10/2012 at 20:38 Magnusm1 says:
It’s worth it. By far.
27/10/2012 at 12:49 Lemming says:
Is that Gaben in the bottom corner there?
27/10/2012 at 15:17 RedViv says:
That is Bacchus, as depicted by Rubens.
27/10/2012 at 16:18 Jenks says:
Can’t unsee :\
28/10/2012 at 02:25 Jackablade says:
If Mr Newell is really the god of wine and orgies, it might go some way to explaining why Valve are taking so long with certain titles.
27/10/2012 at 15:59 Okama Gabesphere says:
Thanks for the heads up, I nearly forgot how hideous this game looked and needed the laugh.
27/10/2012 at 17:38 LostSoviet says:
I picked this up during one of the Steam sales that tied discounts to in-game achievements and was disappointed to find real-time gameplay because I don’t multitask well. Trying to build up my defenses and smash up the enemy’s at the same time made me uninstall as soon as I got the achievement I was after.
27/10/2012 at 18:42 SkittleDiddler says:
Super fun game, but my only complaint is that my wireless 360 gamepad sometimes stops responding right before a match starts and at odd places in the menu. Have to pause and then unpause to get it to work again.
Others have had a similar problem, and the devs have known about the issue since the game was released but haven’t bothered to fix it yet.
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