Downhill Battle: Rock Of Ages Free All Weekend

This is delightful, but can we please, please, please, please, please see more of Zeno Clash 2 now?

I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I was a rock. What would I do if someone stepped on me? How would I wear my moss? Which historical art period would I most enjoy bulldozing if it were tastefully reimagined with a few extra elephants running amok? To its credit, ACE Team’s Rock of Ages does its best to simulate all concerns relevant to aspiring modern/post-modern rocks of all ages. It’s also very, very silly. No, the first (and to my knowledge, only) entry in the slowly-wear-down-artistically-themed-fortresses-with-upgradeable-boulders genre isn’t perfect, but its charms are undeniable. Plus, ACE Team’s still supporting it, and this weekend, you can try out the fruits of their labor for free.

The latest Rock of Ages update centers around multiplayer, and – as such – that’s the part of the game that’s free on Steam. The rest, however, happens to be 75 percent off at the moment, which means it’s a mere $2.49 more than free. That’s only expensive if you live exclusively off grocery store samples or recently invested most of your money in social games.

If you opt to give Rock of Ages a go this Halloween weekend, you’ll be greeted by upgraded matchmaking, AI practice waiting rooms for online multiplayer, and a guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-pumpkin-UI. Also a ghost boulder. Previous updates, meanwhile, have included new modes like Obstacle Course. So even if you took Rock of Ages for a spin at launch, it might be worth diving back in for a moment or two.

So, in short, to conclude, and without a moment to spare: rocks. Discuss.


  1. MrNash says:

    Fun game. It’s a lot more entertaining than I thought a game about rolling a boulder down a hill while slowing down another guy’s boulder would be.

  2. tobecooper says:

    Rocks, you say? I hear they are a great murdering weapon.
    Someone should make a First Person Stoning Simulator.

  3. hypercrisis says:

    I don’t think you described quite how silly Rock of Ages actually is

    • Domino says:

      For any comedy lover the first thing that would come to mind is it’s rather like Monty Python.

      I’ve had the game since release, personally it was worth the full price, now it’s a bargain I hope the multiplayer picks up again.

    • LintMan says:

      My 3 kids all LOVED the cut scenes in between the levels Extreme silliness.

  4. RobF says:

    Rock Of Ages has the best end boss in a game. THE best.

  5. MeestaNob says:

    I think a day or two is all anyone really needs with this game…

  6. CountVlad says:

    This is the only game where I’ve actually laughed at the trailer. Instant buy! :)

  7. InternetBatman says:

    I downloaded the game, and I know it’s really cheap, but I’m still torn between buying it or not. It seems fun, but like it will only last three or four hours (I don’t really play multiplayer). I know that’s a bit parsimonious, but I already have a backlog so I’m trying to cut down game purchases.

  8. Lemming says:

    Is that Gaben in the bottom corner there?

    • RedViv says:

      That is Bacchus, as depicted by Rubens.

    • Jenks says:

      Can’t unsee :\

    • Jackablade says:

      If Mr Newell is really the god of wine and orgies, it might go some way to explaining why Valve are taking so long with certain titles.

  9. Okama Gabesphere says:

    Thanks for the heads up, I nearly forgot how hideous this game looked and needed the laugh.

  10. LostSoviet says:

    I picked this up during one of the Steam sales that tied discounts to in-game achievements and was disappointed to find real-time gameplay because I don’t multitask well. Trying to build up my defenses and smash up the enemy’s at the same time made me uninstall as soon as I got the achievement I was after.

  11. SkittleDiddler says:

    Super fun game, but my only complaint is that my wireless 360 gamepad sometimes stops responding right before a match starts and at odd places in the menu. Have to pause and then unpause to get it to work again.

    Others have had a similar problem, and the devs have known about the issue since the game was released but haven’t bothered to fix it yet.

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