StarCraft II: Heart Of The Swarm Swarms Into Sight On…

look at them all, swarming away there

Oh, that was such a dick move of me, wasn’t it? To do a … and everything to make you read the story? It’s not even because I’m chasing hits. Hits, shmits – it’s just that I’ve got a tiresome headcold and am feeling highly belligerent as a result.

I’ll make up for this awful wasting of your time by definitely not posting the StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm release date underneath the ‘Read the rest of this entry’ jump.

I’m going to hell.

But I’ll make up for this additional awful wasting of your time by definitely not posting the StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm release date news in an extra page that you have to click here to get to.

I’m such a massive wanker.


  1. Elevory says:

    Wow what a dick I’m never going to rock paper shotgun again

    • dontnormally says:

      Alec Meer used Dick Move Hit Multiplier:

      ‣  Modify a single post by +50% hits
      ‣  -50% to Reader Good-Will

      IMHO totally not worth-it.
      It doesn’t even work on bosses.

      • Phantoon says:

        Yeah, but if you plan your build around Hits rather than Good Intentions, you can have a really effective build. Kotaku uses boosts on every Sell Out attack, and they seem to do pretty good DPS.

  2. kyrieee says:

    All those apologies still weren’t enough

  3. Didero says:

    12 March 2013


    • mmalove says:

      Like Blizzard ever actually held to a release date :P

      • Fazer says:

        They delay things all the time, but once they announce specific day, they stick to it.

        • Xzi says:

          True of Blizzard, maybe, but you never know with ActiBlizzard. Besides, even if they do stick to the release date, I don’t know of anybody who still gets excited over the news of a release date from them after the shithole that was Diablo 3.

          I think we’re all just waiting for the inevitable at this point: the release of Starcraft II’s second expansion, Titan, and then the announcement for Blizzard’s closing a few years later. Same thing Activision does with every developer they acquire. Milk existing franchises for all they’re worth and then move on to the next soul-sucking adventure.

  4. jussipe says:

    Down with this sort of thing!

  5. The Lord of Leisure says:

    Good lord, is this what we’re coming to? Made my monicule fall out with all this dilly-dallying about the place.

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Is that something like a reticule?

      • sonofsanta says:

        It’s a monocole composed of only a handful of carefully arranged atoms of carbon.

        • Subject 706 says:

          “It’s a monocole composed of only a handful of carefully arranged atoms of carbon.”

          That became extra funny since you spelled monocle “monocole”, which one could translate to “single charcoal”. Ahem.

  6. drewski says:

    I’d just forget anyway.

  7. President Weasel says:


  8. Rao Dao Zao says:

    Yew slaaaag.

  9. Jams O'Donnell says:

    Heart Of The Swarm launches on Tuesday 12th March 2013

    Oh look, now it’s in the sidebar (momentarily)!

  10. kikito says:

    pepole think this review is worthles.
    go ahead! say it! i dont care! im just trying to make a point here!
    blam this piece of crap!!!!

    • Irregular Peanut says:

      I reley dont wan to say this
      but I have to now

      • Skabooga says:

        i don’t even know how this damn game got in the daily top five

  11. evildonut says:

    “Expandalone”, you say? But Heart of the Swarm requires Wings of Liberty. Says so right on the page.

    • Jams O'Donnell says:

      To save people a bit of digging on, here is the information from the FAQ:

      Will Heart of the Swarm require ownership of Wings of Liberty?
      For the regions that have a standard box business model such as North America and Europe, yes, Wings of Liberty will be required in order to play Heart of the Swarm. For other regions that have alternative access models, we’ll provide details at a later date.

      • Sparkasaurusmex says:

        Pirate Bay is a region with alternative access model, right?

    • lizzardborn says:

      Seems like the Jolly Roger edition of the game will once again be the best and most hassle free one.

      • Azradesh says:

        Yeah because fuck substantial expansion packs, right?

        • Ruffian says:

          When they cost as much as the full game and add, what? five or six new units, yes indeed – fuck them. Oh yeah, I guess there’s the continuation of the campaign, but considering all the assets are already there, and all they have to do is throw together maybe ten new maps in the Starcraft editor, I still say, fuckem. They should be charging like 20$ at the most for it.
          Hey, though, maybe they’ll prove me wrong and it will be the most epic RTS campaign ever and totally worth it. It’d definitely be a welcome change of pace, but I sincerely doubt it will happen.

          • mittortz says:

            It’s an entire new, full campaign along with several new multiplayer units. Anyone who is even vaguely involved in the competitive multiplayer scene knows how difficult it is to balance these new units into an already very well balanced game. So there’s that development time. Now, what exactly makes you think that having the assets for the campaign means they just had to make a couple new maps and call it a day? So they just took threw a dictionary and WoL assets into a blender and said, here’s the new campaign? Also, HotS is priced lower than the original game; for Americans like me, it’s $40 compared to $60, which is a third less. I cannot understand how one can find that an unreasonable buy.

            If you’re going to pirate it, you’re doing it because it’s free. Attempting to justify it any other way is lying to yourself.

      • mmalove says:

        A couple weeks ago, Amazon had Wings of Liberty on sale for 10 dollars. Who honestly is interested in this game, that doesn’t already own SC2?

        • Moraven says:

          Aye, it has shown up time to time $10-$20. Also expect Blizzard to sell it cheap with HotS come closer to release. Or during the holiday shopping spree online next week.

          Two weeks ago you could get all of WoW + Panda for $45. (Normally $20-$25 Battle Chest + $20-30 Cata + Panda $40).

        • lizzardborn says:

          Some people like starcraft because of the campaigns and single player. So I don’t want to put up with the online crap of having especially after the Diablo 3 launch fiasco.

          • Azradesh says:

            Sigh. You can play starcaft 2 offline in single player just fine and you always could. This isn’t changing.

          • kud13 says:

            Cept I bougth WoL on launch day, played through the campaign. Then went off to school, didn`t touch the game for about 3 months. WHen I tried to log back in, after an hour of updates, I was no longer able to log in offline other than a “guest”

            that was the last time I’ve ever spent money on a Blizzard game. abd this is from someone who used to be a devoted Blizz fanboy.

  12. NieArch says:

    Infestor good unit.

  13. akstro says:

    If u dont go to hell, im gonna come to purgatory and kick u down myself. A powerful enemy, you have made.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Purgatory doesn’t exist anymore. Pope said so. And the pope is always right. Even if it contradicts previous popes.

  14. The Random One says:

    I had already followed all the links by the time I remembered I don’t give a crap about Starcraft.

    • Ruffian says:

      lol, same experience.

    • mittortz says:

      lol, people with so much free time that they just mindlessly click on links and then write about it just to tell the world how incredibly mundane their lives are.

      it’s funny because it doesn’t make any sense, but it is reality.

  15. Tom De Roeck says:

    bad journalism you are being paid by starcraft

    • The Snee says:

      my dad work for starcraft and he says kerrigan is killed by sephiroth on the 3rd disk.

  16. Milky1985 says:

    Blizzard have a wierd sort fo pricing considering they promised the game would be expansion priced.

    Check my account and the game is £33 for the standard edition, which is full price for every single other PC game, contacted there customer support as this must be an error.

    They can’t have lied before could they!

    [EDIT] Blizz’s own FAQ says expansion so expansion priced link to

    • Moraven says:

      Press Release has it at $40 for NA. How much is Mists of Pandaria in £?

    • BobbyDylan says:

      Perhaps £33 is expansion priced for them. This is the company who charge £40 (PC) every year for a 4 hour guided tour through a warzone, and the same crappy MP we’ve been playing for years.

    • Azradesh says:

      WoL was £45 RRP, so yeah £33 is very much an expansion price for them. Diablo 3 was also £45 RRP.

  17. Phantoon says:


  18. MadTinkerer says:

    Ah yes, soon I will finally be able to manage my precious little shnookumses in their own expansion. Last time the expansion was called “brood war” but we had to share the campaign with the other factions. Now it’s one whole expansion ALL FOR THE ZERG! My precious cuddly little zergles…

    What’s that? Did ooo tear through that Terran bunker and slaughter all the squishies inside? Ooo did! Yes ooo did! Ooo is such a good wittle ultralisk, yes ooo is!

  19. klingon13524 says:

    You are a terrible person and should be fired. Out of a cannon to the Kotaku office.

  20. solymer89 says:

    So much for the whole “99% complete” thing….

  21. Yosharian says:

    Blatant attempt to get more hits on the Rock Paper Shotgun site on the web in order to get more of the advertising moneys from the advertising men, Alec Meer the internet is onto you, you better watch out mister sonny jim

  22. jjujubird says:

    What if Blizz puts its best troll face on and says the March 12 date is only for the campaign and not multiplayer? :-P