Once, I thought there was at least some cold, profit-maximizing business precision that guided whatever awfulness-seeking missile explodes games into not-great movies, but now I’m not even sure of that anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong: Company of Heroes is a work of absolute RTS brilliance, but it’s not exactly a household name. And yeah, much as I think my most brilliant tactical masterpieces – for instance, a nuanced little number I like to call TANKS EVERYWHERE – are worth their own movie adaptations, the game’s brand of top-down contemplaction doesn’t exactly make for the best big screen material. Then again, this one’s direct-to-DVD, so I guess that solves that. But obviously, making the leap to a new medium required Company of Heroes to take some liberties. For instance, when I say “making the leap,” I mean that literally. Across the top of a train. Like Indiana Jones. See for yourself after the break.
Unsurprisingly, Company of Heroes: The Movie of the Game of the War looks preposterously overblown and cliched. Also, if it can maintain the level of dramatic action movie leaping featured in this trailer throughout the whole film, well, it’ll certainly be… something.
The plot, meanwhile, focuses on evil Nazi science and the only company of soldiers – nay, heroes – who can Get The Job Done. Observe, courtesy of IGN:
“During the last major German offensive of World War II, a company of American soldiers is lost behind enemy lines during the Battle of the Bulge and they make a horrific discovery – Hitler has a super bomb in development. The soldiers soon learn about a secret allied mission to retrieve a defecting German scientist in charge of a secret weapons program. Faced with impossible odds, the company and an escaping POW go on a daring raid into the heart of Nazi Germany in pursuit of the scientist.”
It’s actually got some fairly serious starpower going for it, though – or at least, starpower in the realm of war movies. Tom Sizemore of Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down’s starring, and Neal McDonough from Band of Brothers is also on board. If nothing else, I doubt the ensuing mishmash of so-bad-it’s-good-ness will be boring. At least, I really, really hope not.
So yeah, Company of Heroes is getting a movie. One that’s significantly more existent than those of World of Warcraft, Mass Effect, Wolfenstein, and many, many others, no less. What a world, etc.