I think I only truly became An Adult right around the time I first heard of EVE Online. Growing up, you see, the concept of space conjured notions of adventure, heroism, and utopia. The possibilities, my naive peanut brain figured, were endless. But time has a way of imparting essential kernels of wisdom upon even the most head-in-the-stars of youths – mainly, that people are complete jerks to each other. And so it is with EVE Online. Catapulted into the endless reaches of space, human existence is… pretty much the same. Corporate shenanigans, frequent backstabbery, and – if a new trailer’s anything to go on – lots of dubstep continue unabated. Only difference is, there are super nifty space ships, which make being a bounty hunter a viable career path – even for people not named “Dog.” And so we arrive at the new Retribution expansion, the bounty-hunting-est one yet. It’s out now, which means you’re probably already dead.
Flashy, cheesy, insubstantial – everything an EVE trailer shouldn’t be. Hooray! But where increasingly inaccurate promotional materials fail, the ancient art of patch notes more than makes up the difference. Somewhere, in some dank, threadbare den, some patch scribe dedicated their entire life to carving these note into CCP’s virtual slab. They are, in other words, immense.
The bounty system, though, takes top billing, and it seems primed to toss another couple sticks of dynamite into an already boiling pot of intergalactic intrigue. You can place bounties on pretty much anything – players, alliances, and corporations – and there’s a Bounty Information window will tell you everything you need to know in EVE’s traditionally exhaustive fashion. The Bounty Office, meanwhile, is now usable at any time, and it contains a Most Wanted list should you decide to start earning a little blood money yourself.
Other major additions improve an overhauled Crimewatch system, new ships, and a colossal smattering of changes and fixes. So, right then, do you plan on jumping in?