Merry Sausage-Swipe & A Happy Door Sniff From EVE

put it away, Claus

We are under siege. Each day this week, and inevitably over the next one too, our inbox is assaulted by endless press releases about in-game Christmas events, seasonal well-wishing from free-to-play titles we’ve never heard of and news of flash sales on sinister-sounding virtual currencies. I don’t know how we’ll cope. Well, I do – we’ll just ignore 99% of it. But one piece of festive gimmickery did manage to force itself past the steely defences of my intractably cynical brain. The below is EVE Online’s batshit crazy tidings of the season, and it includes pervy troll-men, Santa being murdered with a ray-gun, live-action Eve and authentic Icelandic mythology.

This does tie in to actual in-game happenings, regardless of how out there it may initially seem. The Yule Lads are a genuine Icelandic myth, rest assured, and this is not the first time an EVE Chrimbo event has been themed around them.

“And be good.” Hah! This is not the game for such things.

I’m definitely going to hide my sausage just in case the Yule Lads come to the UK this year.

Hide my sausage.


For more practical, less trollman-based detail of what’s going on in Eve over – ugh – “the holiday period”, you should get yourself over here. Hurry, there are gifts, to be had. Gifts!


  1. MrLakestream says:

    Could someone please make a Team Fortress 2-type of game based on the Yule Lads? I would definitely play as Sheep-Cote Clod “who harasses sheep but is impaired by his stiff peg-legs” most of the time, but would probably put some time in with Sausage-Swiper “who would hide in the rafters and snatch sausages that were being smoked”.

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  2. Ergates_Antius says:

    Here, I’ll hide your….wait…no.

    • The Random One says:

      You’re a pretty cool guy, Alec, but you still have to at least buy me dinner first.

  3. Batolemaeus says:

    I’d embedd the actual video, not the one from the machinima people who blatantly steal other people’s content: link to

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    Slow day? I understand.

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  7. The Dark One says:

    If you hadn’t mentioned EVE in the headline, I would have thought the banner image was of John.

  8. Gap Gen says:

    I had an Icelandic colleague who apparently had quite a bit of explaning to do after his kids accused the local shopping centre’s santa of eating children.

  9. syndicatedragon says:

    So much spam…