Maximum Misdirection: Here’s Crysis 3, But In Reverse

Watching the latest in Crysis 3‘s “Seven Wonders” series, I can’t help but be reminded of totally amazing 7DFPS entry Vonneguts & Glory. No, Crytek’s hardware-hemorrhaging squidshoot hasn’t suddenly started dressing like Wolfenstein 3D, but it has slammed on the breaks and shifted into reverse for some reason. The effect is neat-looking, I suppose, but now I really just want a mega-budget backward shooter. Start at the end, un-shoot your victims and watch as they happily go home to their families, un-fire un-explosions from your un-gun, etc. Oh well, though. For now we’ll just have to ponder what could’ve been while watching Prophet moonwalk through Wall Street. Take a peep after the break – unless, of course, real life’s actually been in reverse the entire time and you already have.

So that was fun. I think the reverse leaping kick was my favorite part, because it looked the most horrendously awkward. Honestly, though, this whole thing’s pretty much an exercise in all-style, no-substance. I mean, the location looks nice and open, but we pretty much only got to see Prophet traverse it in a straight line. And hey, look, we can use rocket launchers, bows, and machine guns. What a shocking revelation.

Crysis 3 will be out February 22nd. I desperately hope a rewind mod will start development on February 23rd. Or sooner. Because, you know, backwards jokes. And also because people are already developing CryEngine 3 mods. Seriously, though, of 2013’s crop of slightly-brainier-than-average explosion-fests, Crysis 3’s definitely one I’m watching with keen interest. I pretty much know exactly what to expect at this point, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be a jungle-stalking, dude-kicking good time.

Where’s the official RPS BANG-BANG-KTHOOM-HMMM-HARUMPH meter falling on this one, though? Crysis 2 took some (in my opinion, not entirely justified) flack, but is Crysis 3 looking more up everyone’s alley?


  1. f1x says:

    Dat nano-ass

    • Cinek says:

      Yet still the stealth mode is worse then in Nanosuit 1.0.

  2. Panda Powered says:


    • Alien426 says:

      American planes, full of holes and wounded men and corpses took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over France a few German fighter planes flew at them backwards, sucked bullets and shell fragments from some of the planes and crewmen. They did the same for wrecked American bombers on the ground, and those planes flew up backwards to join the formation.

      The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The containers were stored neatly in racks. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody as good as new.

      When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground., to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anybody ever again.
      — Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut


  3. Yargh says:

    that is one augmented butt-cheek.

  4. elvis71 says:

    I´m afraid that this will reduce my poor excuse for a PC into a steaming pile of melted electronic waste.

    The backward effect is a bit forced …

  5. Moni says:

    I read their tag-line as “Asses, Adapt, Attack”.


  6. Tom De Roeck says:

    Meh, didnt look that good.

  7. StranaMente says:

    He was very lucky to catch that rocket coming from the helicpoter, wasn’t he?

  8. Totally heterosexual says:


  9. paulapuffmutter says:

    Pretty nice for a few hours full of F.U.N.

  10. PixelTribune says:

    My arse is augmented.

  11. hello_mr.Trout says:

    urgh, that voice over was awful – like some z-grade film noir – also, director credits at the end of your game trailer? delusions of grandeur much?

    • Synesthesia says:

      oof, yeah. Bit too much. Might have looked better if they put whoever’s ass they 3d-scanned and placed as an asset in the game.

  12. tobecooper says:

    I see everyone took Nathan’s ‘is it looking up everyone’s alley’ as a call to discuss the ass, and not the game. I find it strangely amusing that the flashy shooty-punch-punch played second fiddle to the buttocks of the protagonist. But they look strong. Strong enough to crush nuts. And this is not a euphemism but an achievement in the Guinness Book of Records.
    (Keywords: Crysass, tassellation)

    • f1x says:

      Yeah and so much killing, you can see Prophet is quite an ass-assin (of nuts)

    • Toberoth says:

      What’s he gonna do with all that ass, all that ass inside that… nanosuit.

      “I’mma make make make make you scream, make you scream make you screaaam!”

      • wulfsiege says:


        Do people forget that Prophets ass isn’t in that suit… its Alcatraz’s mind controlled zombified ass in that suit. I do hope they resolve that particularly un-heroic part of the storyline in Crysis 3…

  13. Koozer says:

    First thought: what a low-res rock that is.

    Second thought: MAXIMUM CLENCH.

  14. wireless says:

    You could try Retro/Grade if you’re looking for reverse gameplay. It’s an indie shump on the PS3 played in reverse on a gamepad, or if you’re feeling adventurous, a guitar hero/rock band guitar.

  15. AlienMind says:

    OMG C3 will be even more boring than C2, they have to play the trailers backwards to make it more interesting

  16. Gabe McGrath says:

    @Nathan Grayson
    Loved your pitch for a mega-budget backwards shooter.

    Reminded me of a twitter meme I started a few years ago – ‘#Backgames’…
    “Tweet the plot of famous videogames as if played in reverse.”

    Here’s a few to give you an idea:

    Deus Ex:
    JC Denton overthrows one of 3 new world orders, travels the globe,
    then waits for terrorists to rebuild the statue of liberty.

    A space marine brings demons to life, locking colour-coded doors behind him
    before falling asleep, as his colleagues close a portal to hell.

    Commander Jameson brings peace to multiple galaxies, losing money & status
    before retiring on Lave with just 100 credits.

    I received many more clever submissions on my blog.
    (won’t link it here – you can google ‘backgames’ if you’re interested)

    • GepardenK says:

      The Doom idea could be a pretty good horror game. You have to run around reviving monsters from hell and then locking the door behind you before they eat you.

      Bonus objective: Hide the keys to the doors well so no NPCs accedentaly releases the monsters again. Under the door math does not cut it!

  17. Shadowcat says:

    I think the reverse leaping kick was my favorite part, because it looked the most horrendously awkward.

    That’s probably because it’s horrendously awkward played forwards as well: He jumps off his right foot, swings his left foot behind him, and then kicks with his right foot (which is also his bottom foot, as the target is to his left). Presumably someone went to the effort of animating it this way on purpose, too.

  18. SuicideKing says:

    I once watched Pokemon 2000 backwards. At least a part of it. That was back in 2003 btw.