We Can Finally Solve Real-Life Beefs In Diablo III

You! Yeah, you! I am enraged in you general direction. Are you manly enough to fight me? Yeah? Crap. I thought you might back down and run away. Erm. Can I interest you – OW! – please stop, and I’ll pay you – NOTTHEFACE – I have money! Take my watch! It’s my birthday and I’ve just wet myself. Just please stop pummeling me… Man, did I just learn a lesson: real-world violence solves nothing, causes bruising and pain, and might even result in soiled underwear. From now on I’ll be doing all my fighting online, and Blizzard will soon make it possible to do so in Diablo III. The next patch will deliver a basic PvP structure to their game. Finally!

The missing PvP component has been one of the more obvious missteps from a game that never quite got its footing. If you’re going to demand that players need to be connected to the internet, at least give them a good few reasons to be online. At least Blizzard are still plugging away, and they’ve just announced that patch 1.0.7 will bring player duels to the game.

It’s not a huge update, but I expect those still clicking will appreciate it. The new location, the Scorched Chapel, is segmented into four new zones: the church, the graveyard, the river, and the lake. Up to four players can fight. PvP being built in a safe zone. It’s opt-in to prevent player vs player combat spiraling out into griefing. To this end, there’s literally no point to the violence. No leaderboards, no betting, no objectives. It’s possibly a meta-comment on the nature of violence, but the exact opposite of why most people play games. Maybe it’s just too tough to balance between the player’s builds, so they decided to take out any rewards?


    • rawrty says:

      Hah. That pretty much sums it up perfectly.

      • marshabilly5 says:

        Sean. I just agree… Bradley`s blurb is astonishing, last week I got a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class since getting a cheque for $5502 this past four weeks and-in excess of, $10,000 lass month. it’s certainly the most-comfortable work Ive ever had. I actually started four months/ago and almost straight away was making more than $85… per/hr. I follow the details on this straightforward website..Job Creation

    • Craig Pearson says:

      That should be their patch note.

  1. rawrty says:

    So are these the PVP arenas they promised way back when? Almost enough to make me log in to check it out but I’m probably so far behind the gear curve it would be pointless.

    • Xocrates says:

      No, the arenas went back to the drawing board, this should just be regular dueling.

    • Reapy says:

      That and I tried to log in and it wouldn’t take my user name and password. Enough that I didn’t want to bother to figure out why it won’t let me in to the game I purchased with the user name / pass I used to log in with.

  2. FurryLippedSquid says:

    This has been a massive failure by Blizzard. They won’t care though as it sold by the bucketload.

    • Bhazor says:

      Sad but true.
      A HD remake of a decade old game with oft broken always on DRM and missing fundamental features.

      Current sales figure: +10,000,000

      • Arglebargle says:

        It could have been a gold coloured turd , and it would have sold those numbers…..

  3. jeanjoan421 says:

    my roomate’s aunt makes $81/hour on the laptop. She has been without work for seven months but last month her pay check was $13148 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Read more on this web site http://www.bit90.com

    • seamoss says:

      Is she hawt?

    • fish99 says:

      Couldn’t RPS disable link posting for the first month on new accounts to stop this spamming? (and of course ban the spammers which I presume you’re doing already) It’s kinda annoying.

    • excel_excel says:

      Why is it always your roommate’s aunt? I mean if you were going to try to scam me with something surely you’d say, your OWN aunt. Instead you want me to trust your roommate’s (who smells of bad milk) aunt? No way man. NO WAY!

      • lijenstina says:

        I’m more into that these spambot messages are a way of the secret service of communicate who should be eliminated next. These $ per hour numbers are the code of the victim, the income is it’s location and the roommate’s aunt is the contact alias in the agency. :)

        • excel_excel says:

          but……81 is MY codename. Oh GOD, THE AUNT, SHE’S IN THE ROOM WITH ME! CALL FOR H-

    • Bfox says:

      She must be really good at the Auction house!

  4. Ruffian says:

    This would be cool, if I cared about or was playing the game anymore.

  5. Quatlo says:

    Is it just me or 1.07 seems to be the “magic number” for blizzard. They always introduce something big in that patch.

  6. Bhazor says:

    Given the whole (official) justification of the always online DRM was to prevent cheating I’d say they needed to make it into an Esport.

    • RandomEsa says:

      The main reason for always online DRM was the RMAH.

      The other factor might have been piracy but even when warcraft III ( frozen throne included) is arguably most pirated game of all time it sold 8 million copies in 2012 so I doubt blizzard cares that much about piracy.

      • Bhazor says:

        Yep. The real reason is to make a RMAH and milk their loyalest fans for every penny they can.

        But the official reason that they told fans was to remove the cheaters/bots.

  7. Njordsk says:

    Thanks but not thanks blizzard.

  8. BockoPower says:

    Are all RPS writers having birthday today ? -_-

  9. felltablet says:

    Far too little, far too late. I bought the game against my own behest, due to friendly encouragement and constant peer hype. However, I couldn’t wait to free up some hard drive space after 2 months.

  10. fish99 says:

    Not gonna join the general bitchfest here, I got more than my moneys worth out of the game, and 95% of the time I was playing it, I was having fun.

    No real interest in playing more anytime soon, but that’s the same with most games I’ve finished multiple times. Honestly I wonder if the Wow generation was just disappointed it wasn’t an MMO (yes I know it had lots of other issues, don’t waste your finger joints typing them all out here). Reason I say that is people still seem surprised and disappointed they won’t be playing D3 for years, whereas 99% of purchasers didn’t play D1 or D2 for years either.

  11. Moraven says:

    They said at Blizzcon among other places they were not making D3 into an eSport. They have SC2 for that. And WoW a little bit.

  12. derbefrier says:

    Except blizzard stated specifically that D3 was not going to be an esport and they were not going to worry about PvP balance that much if at all.surely you haven’t already forgotten Jay Wilson’s infamous “shut up pvp guy” quote already. I dont know if I believe that or if their pvp design philosophy has changed since this was said but its hard to imagine they are going through this much trouble on something thats supposed to be just for fun unless it was just truly a horrible experience.

  13. reggiep says:

    I am kind of disappointed that D3 had such little content. I really enjoyed the game, but playing through the story 12 or more times is such a waste of such fine gameplay. PvP will not draw me back. An expansion pack that includes, say 20 hours of unique content, would.

    Or, they could have just allowed user generated content and made the game last forever.

  14. Dozer says:

    Nathan wouldn’t have written that first paragraph…