Render Woman: Dream of the Blood Moon

It's in the trees! It's coming!

Horror has a new name, and it is Slender Man. That’s quite an old name now, really, but tell that to three hundred thousand different Slender games on the App Store, across Moddb and whatever scripts are inevitably being optioned in Hollywoodland. Free Unreal-based horror game Dream of the Blood Moon, at least, adds a little more game to the OH GOD THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE TREES concept, while adding in enough strange noises and unearthly lighting to achieve to whole aaargh I don’t wanna die thing too.

There’s a story of sorts behind this short game, told in an exploration-based way that evokes a more direct, and puzzle-based Dear Esther. The aforementioned puzzles aren’t too complicated, but do require some observational prowess and a patient, persistent attitude.

Mostly, though, it’s all about the monster, which I won’t be spoiling other than to warn that it’s much scarier from afar than it (well, she) is close up. But, y’know, free. DOTBM definitely has something going for it in terms of mood, look and puzzleability, so turn off the lights, turn the speakers up and OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT oh it’s just the cat WAIT WHY’S IT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT OH GOD OH G-

If you don’t fancy being scared and thus will resist downloading this 300MB game, why not watch this video of this ridiculous German guy playing it instead? He sings! He shouts! He yodels! He swears at nothing, at volume, for no reason! He’s listening to some horrid bleepy music as he playe! Nothing could ever be frightening if you were in his company. Note: if you do intend to play the game, don’t watch this video until afterwards.

Somebody needs a lie down.


  1. Herr Dr. Face Doktor says:

    Something about a hyped up German kid interrupting his garble with the occasional “FUCK” eases the nerves. I challenge someone to find something that’s still scary with that guy around.

    • writerryan says:

      I actually laughed out loud in my office when he was running backwards from her while screaming.

  2. Mr. Mister says:

    To survive, run to the shadows. Wait, let me rephrase that:

    Run where the shadows point.

  3. Moonshine Fox says:

    Scarecam vids…the plague of Youtube. 0 production effort.

    1. Set up webcam.
    2. Play scary game.
    3. Scream and act like an idiot.

    Why Internet? WHY?????

    • The white guar says:

      I’d blame schadenfreude

    • Brun says:

      I’d wager it’s the same reason that the internet likes silly cat videos and/or memes.

    • Gnoupi says:

      I don’t know, there’s something funny about videos like this one, for me.

      One is enough, though. No need to see the face at the same time, and cinematic subtitles add to the funny effect

    • Universal Quitter says:

      Dude, instead of rationalizing something personal and subjective, why don’t you just say, “I don’t think videos like that are funny, and I’m kind of a jerk?”

      Or are you not into the whole brevity thing?

  4. Beernut says:

    Well, he’s Austrian, not German (although his dialect could also pass as Bavarian).
    I feel, that this distinction had to be made at this point. :D

    • cjlr says:

      The fact that such distinctions ARE made is what makes RPS comments great.

      That and puns.

    • Chaz says:

      So presumably Austrians and Bavarians are to the Germans, like the Welsh and Scottish are to the English?

    • ucfalumknight says:

      So, what you are saying is Corporal Upham is playing the game?

  5. SuperNashwanPower says:

    How can an entire genre be built around waiting for a jumpscare?

    Caveat: I lack the patience to put any kind of time into a Slender derivative. This one got 5 minutes out of me. I walked around a corner: BOO. And I’m Done.

    I think maybe I am not the target audience.

  6. strangeloup says:

    It took me a minute to click that hey, that’s the same font used for The Darkness.

    Also the fact that the download is called “Install-BloodMoon.exe” reminds me that I never did finish the second Morrowind expansion; I remember something about having to find standing stones with an awful map and directions that were at least equally bad, while contending with a vast amount of tough baddies hell-bent on murdering my face off.

    • RedViv says:

      Oh goodness. I was about to write something like “Oh, does it have aimless running with a confusing map and more confusing directions while werewolves and frozen goblins try to eat my various body parts?”

  7. Yglorba says:

    One thing I think this shows is how severely our current copyright law is stifling creativity — people focus on illegal filesharing and the like, but, I mean, those things will always have to be dealt with. The bigger problem is how severely it suppresses the creation of derivative works — sure, a lot of these are cheap spinoffs, but there’s some cool stuff, too. It’s cool to picture what we would get if people could prolificate works based on Superman or the like in this fashion.

    • Tei says:

      Yea, these laws exist for comercial reasons, but stop innovation. And often are used by big companies to destroy small companies with great ideas. Companies like Sony or Nokia fight innovation.

    • floogles says:

      Yep this is the more important bigger picture. Fan made/independent releases of everything would be confusing BUT imagine the gold that would come out.

      Magnificent modding tools would rise to the surface, and we would see a renaissance in game-making that music saw when digital recording became affordable.

      eg. Anachronox 2

      …And I can think of nothing cooler than being able to completely fuck up “Twin Peaks – Cooper vs The Log Lady by floogles” and not be sued.

      • yhancik says:

        You Twin Peaks game sounds great :p Is it going to be a beat’em all or a rts/sim? :p

        • floogles says:

          yah the twin peaks is gonna be more like Braid where you can reverse things, but instead of time it’s speech so everything sounds like the red room except the red room, but I’m more excited about my Blue Velvet rougelike :-|

  8. Dominus_Anulorum says:

    So as an ignorant English speaker, why are there occasionally English words interspersed in his speech? I get the curse words, but I noticed he said creepy once and a few other words throughout the video.

    Edit: Or is it that there are some words which we use in English which sound more or less the same in other languages?

    • Grey Ganado says:

      Germans like to steal English words, especially in the internet and gaming subculture.
      It’s also pretty easy to make English words fit into German sentence structure and grammar.

    • Hulk Handsome says:

      Modern English evolved from old English and a bunch of other languages, usually from when the rule of England changed hands. We have lots of French words from when they were in control hundreds of years ago. Apple is a French word, for example.

      • peacakes says:

        Apple is a Germanic word actually (in modern German it’s Apfel). The French word for apple is pomme.

        • Jimmy says:

          No, no, you clearly don’t know anything about languages. “Apple” is from French “appelle” as in “Je m’appelle Jimmy”, meaning “I want my apple, Jimmy”.

      • Chaz says:

        Modern English is more or less a grab bag of Germanic, French and Latin language anyway. It shows Britain’s rich history of having been invaded and conquered by more or less everyone in the western hemisphere at some point in time.

    • Saarlaender39 says:

      It’s a phenomenon called “Denglisch”.
      Maybe you should read this:

      link to

  9. elvis71 says:

    I love RPS for the fact that if the news is not so exciting, at least the comments are much funnier and interesting =)

  10. Universal Quitter says:

    I’ve always enjoyed watching other people get scared of a video game far more than actually playing horror games. I don’t know, they always feel kind of sub-par to me. Often times the controls are more likely to get you killed than any actual danger, though I might just be letting that first Resident Evil game slant my view a bit.