Yes, I’m aware that “power overwhelming” is a Protoss line – not Zerg. But that’s really the only way to adequately describe what’s being depicted in StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm‘s ultra-lavish CG opening. Well, that or “ooky, pukey
Overlord Leviathan insides,” but a) those don’t show up for too terribly long and b) I wanted to forget that they showed up at all. So mainly, Blizzard continues in its rich – if all-too-predictable – tradition of titanic armies clashing and beating each other over the head with kitchen sinks the size of Death Stars. Oh, but this time, there’s also A Twist. I wish I could tell you that I mean The Twist – implying that everyone sets aside their differences for a scintillatingly choreographed dance number – but sadly, you’ll just have to settle for a surprise reveal at the end.
You know what’s worse than a dreary, gray day? If you guessed “having your entire empire crushed under the elephantine heels of a perfectly oiled organic war machine,” then you’re probably a total hoot at parties. And also, in this very specific instance, you’re correct! Good going.
But why all the apocalyptic daydreaming? Here’s a quick (and SPOILERY, if you haven’t played Wings of Liberty’s admittedly very dumb story for some reason) rundown:
“Sarah Kerrigan is on the loose. Even without the terrible powers of the Queen of Blades or the might of the Swarm at her command, the former Ghost remains a foe not to be taken lightly. But if the artifact really did set her free, then why is Kerrigan seeking out Zerg broods scattered throughout the Koprulu sector? Is she still pursuing her quest for vengeance, or has her transformation given Kerrigan a new purpose?”
Now typically, Blizzard doesn’t take its absurd CG budget out of cold storage until a game’s release is right around the corner, and this time’s no different. StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm is arriving on March 12th, in this, the 2013th year of our infinite bearlord. In Blizzard time, that’s practically tomorrow.
So, who’s waxing their spine-erect head tendrils in excitement? Anyone? I mean, I liked vanilla StarCraft II pretty well, but I’ve never been particularly great at multiplayer. I’m sure I’ll still enjoy the campaign well enough – especially since I thought Wings of Liberty’s missions were strong, even if the plot underlying them didn’t hold a candle to StarCraft I – but I’m not really getting that “gotta have it” impulse I’d usually feel for something like this. Maybe I’m just getting old. Maybe I’ve grown acclimated to that intoxicating new Overlord smell. Maybe I’m finally reaching the point where I want to make dance numbers, not war.