Mortal Space Narwhal QWOP Combat: Just The Tip

Aw, they're so happy. I mean, one's getting stabbed in the heart, but still!

I’ve had a tab for Just The Tip open all day, and I keep accidentally clicking over to it and getting punched in the ear with blaring techno music. So now I have to post about it, because it’s haunting my browser – as neon space narwhals apparently do – and I need to exorcise it. But that’s far from the only reason I’m bringing this floppy, QWOP-y fighter to your attention. Unbelievably, it’s actually quite good, if a bit barebones. See, in addition to being woefully inept at moving about their Tron grid¬†gladiatorial prison, the starwhals can only inflict lasting damage if they pierce each others’ hearts. Near-misses abound, so matches actually become pretty tense! Let’s get to the heart of the matter after the break.

So yes, this is another Global Game Jam 2013 entry. And yeah, sure enough, it has hearts. Also, adorably rolly polly narwhal lightsaber duels. Have I mentioned how glad I am that game jam themes aren’t often particularly binding?

Now, it’s a local multiplayer to-do, so one player controls via arrow keys while the other gets WASD. Movement usually ends up taking the form of graceless rolling or feeble gyrations or something vaguely resembles “The Worm,” all of which are, of course, hilarious. The best bits, though, come when one player’s horn get within slicing distance of another’s heart. Then a crazy,¬†psychedelic bullet time effect kicks in, and the awkward narwhal tangle suddenly looks, er, really cool.

So it becomes this wonderful dance of split-second risk/reward. Once I got the hang of it, I tended toward exposing my heart on purpose, waiting until right before slow-mo kicked in, and then making a sudden lurch upward at my opponent’s own exposed belly.

Truth be told, I actually sort of hope Marvin’s Mittens developer Breakfall keeps tinkering with this one post-jam. The core dynamics of it actually feel really good, and they’re inherently hilarious to boot. In short, it’s a whal of a time.


  1. Barnox says:

    Reminds me a lot of Rubber Ninjas in it’s slo-mo, floppy movement.
    link to

    Seems it gets rid of the flailing limbs and gets straight to the heart of the combat, though.

  2. Kefren says:

    If I play one more game like this I’ll have played the full cet-acean games like this normally though.

  3. SominiTheCommenter says:

    Why no willy-based puns yet?
    Looks like a cold day in the locker room.

    • Dr I am a Doctor says:

      in space my willy shrinks pretty hardcore

      • zbmott says:

        Actually, your willy would expand in space, due to the lack of atmospheric pressure.

      • Xardas Kane says:

        In space no one can hear your willy scream.

    • The Random One says:

      There was a lot of willy puns back in that thread about Cities in Motion 2 which opened with a recounting of a youtube commenter’s ejaculatory response, so I guess we all blew our loads there.

  4. rb2610 says:

    Wow, this is awesome!

    Certainly the most entertaining browser game I’ve played, and I’m only messing around playing against myself so far…

    I can see myself having a whale of a time with this.

    • Herr Dr. Face Doktor says:

      You should look up Newgrounds, they have plenty of games where you can play with yourself.

  5. abremms says:

    Ah, headlines. The whole reason I come to RPS.

    • jayc4life says:

      And the reason I have them on my desktop’s Rainmeter RSS.

  6. mickygor says:

    How was I supposed to know Space Narwhals are lactose intolerant?

  7. Cheebahh says:

    If this matched you up with a random online opponent like chat roulette it’d be perfect!

  8. jayc4life says:

    Electro music, narwhals in cyberspace with a sensitive hitbox area, sleekly presented?

    Nidhogg, I hardly knew ya.

    • Porkolt says:

      Whatever the hell happened to Nidhogg anyway?

      Was it ever released? Everything I’ve seen of it was it looking pretty much finished, but even the main site offers no information on where to play it.