Thumb War: Caesar’s Day Off

We do not approve

Take two minutes of your life – for instance, the two you spend touching yourself inappropriately at exactly 5.17pm every day while wearing that yellow raincoat you like so much and looking at pictures of Ainsley Harriott – and spend them with this entirely silly browser game about a nonchalant Roman Emperor. It’s one joke taken exactly as far as it needs to be taken, no more, no less.

You are Julius Caesar. You have to judge stuff, with your thumb. Your thumb has the power to summon lions or have you wear natty hats. There are multiple endings depending on who you’ve had killed or not. There is an Indiana Jones gag. There is a shark.

That is all.

Edit – aye, this was in Porpentine’s column a little while back, but a) my memory is awful b) there’s nothing wrong with enthusing about nice things twice.


  1. MiniMatt says:

    Think the CMS has mangled the link – link to

    /goes back to watching Ready Steady Cook repeats. In a yellow mac.

  2. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    Didn’t Porpentine already mention this one a couple of weeks ago? ‘Tis brilliant all the same.

    EDIT:. Yep, she did.

    • Droopy The Dog says:

      Was just thinking that…

      Poor porp’, they keep mentioning games after her, it must be frustrating for her.

      • Guvornator says:

        It’s like the invisible woman fast show sketch link to . And to think they accuse other people of misogyny…

      • El_Emmental says:

        nah, she’ll be able to be “that” unknown artist, who did everything before it was trendy enough to reach a wider audience – she’ll be the one cited in the books and by the fans, and will receive lovely postcards from all around the world until her last days. A true, meaningful, life achievement (the postcards).

      • The Random One says:

        Poor Porpentine.


        Though this is the first time I’ve seen RPS rereport one of Poorp’s games; usually it’s the opposite that happens, which makes sense since her column is a catch-all. But perhaps just to be on the safe side it’s better to assume no one on RPS reads her column because they are all misogynists, and also they don’t think her games are really games, because real games have DRM.

    • LionsPhil says:

      It was indeed a thing of beauty.

  3. Kollega says:

    The joke really is taken as far as it needs to be. I give it a thumbs-up!

  4. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    No! Not my Ainsley-time! :(
    Thank god I already played this, when it came up in a Live Free, Play Hard.

  5. captaincabinets says:

    I love digital media.

  6. bobbobob says:

    Hey. If you guys are upset about seeing something referenced or linked twice, then I’ll assume this is the first time you’ve used the internet.

  7. Shooop says:

    Suddenly, lions.

  8. Engonge says:

    I laughed my pants off at the comment lion made on facebook!

  9. Porpentine says:

    it’s impossible to mention little indie games like this too often–they get swept under the rug so easily

    • Maniac says:

      Thats indeed true.
      I’m gonna go play it. Again.
      Yay free stuff for broke people!

  10. Maniac says:

    What the shit Alec, are you stalking me!?
    And the OCD-ness of my masturbatory timing!?
    … But meh, I still love you. Also I’m quite sure Porpentine already covered this game a while back, but I aint sure.