No Trees On Mars – Mars: War Logs

War Logs? War Logs? Anyway, Mars: War Logs an action RPG that looks a bit fancy, frankly, like a mix of Riddick and Batman, or something. It’s not looking quite as slick as either of those, sadly, and that might be because it’s the next game from Spiders, who made the disappointing Of Orcs & Men, and some other games I’ve never played. I think it’s a fair bet that this will play a lot like Of Orcs & Men, which had plenty of scope for being fun if it hadn’t been so linear and grindy. More details are coming soon, apparently, but in the meantime check out the website.


  1. lorddon says:


    • Velko says:

      Damn you. Damn you to hell.

    • noom says:

      This meme is like herpes. Just when you’ve forgotten about it, suddenly there it is all over your screen.

      • SuperNashwanPower says:

        Might I recommend Andrex Scented Refreshing Towlettes and suggest you stop wiping your cock on your monitor

    • Jesse L says:

      Wait guys, I’ve got a better one – “I used to be a cyberpunk, until I took a war log in the knee.”

    • lijenstina says:

      It’s log log
      It’s big it’s heavy it’s wood
      It’s log log
      It’s better than bad
      It’s good.

    • The Random One says:

      It’s been a looong daaaay’s waaaaar
      And I should be sleeeeping like a loooog

  2. RakeShark says:

    I think my last war log was back in 2004. Thank you MRE #7.

  3. Gap Gen says:

    Cry havoc and let slip the logs of war!

    EDIT: *sniffs* This foul deed does indeed smell above the earth.

  4. SouperSteve0 says:

    Finally an RPG that will let you choose Red Fir as a race.

  5. luukdeman111 says:

    looks alright…. Except the animations…. those look way off..

  6. povu says:

    Logs of War, sounds good.

  7. Revolving Ocelot says:

    If a man shoots his gun on Mars, and there isn’t an atmosphere, does it make a noise?

    • Morlock says:

      If there is no atmosphere, there is no noise, but Mars has a lot of atmosphere. It is thinner, almost all of it is CO2, but there is more than enough to hear a gun sound.

  8. Creeping Death says:

    You call of orcs and men linear and grindy but surely the former would make the latter impossible? I don’t remember any part of that game where I could’ve spent time grinding, or even why I would have need to.

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      I don’t mean grinding in the MMO sense of repeating tasks to get XP, i mean that you were performing the same tasks to go anywhere. It was room after room of the same dudes. It was grindy.

    • Low Life says:

      edit: accidental reply :(

  9. zbmott says:

    I think you meant “…disappointing Of Orcs & Men”, but you typed “Or Orcs & Men”.

  10. Rao Dao Zao says:

    I think there are some tree puns around the word “log” here, but I’m lost fir words.

    • FurryLippedSquid says:

      I walnut buy this.

    • AlwaysRight says:

      Don’t arbour your point.

    • Low Life says:

      You can’t expect yourself to always come up with good puns, it’s not like they

      We interrupt this message to deliver a formal apology for the rest of the message. The author truly feels bad for what was written, and will be appropriately punished for it. The author is in no way responsible for any trauma resulting from this message, be that physical (i.e. blunt force trauma in the face) or mental in its nature. The message will now continue.

      grow on trees.

    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      *sigh* Press alt-f4 to be rid of these puns

      • F3ck says:

        Pine all you want for their cessation:

        They might not be poplar now, but ash anybody – eventually they’ll grow on you.

    • Aaax says:

      I hope they’ll post Wood I Think once the game comes out.

  11. Low Life says:

    I’m waiting for that inevitable flash game take on the subject; Mars: Log Wars.

  12. psepho says:

    The name doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure it’s not a typo for Warm Logs?

  13. dawnmane says:

    gotta love the setting, though.

  14. Edgar the Peaceful says:

    I’ve battled a few war logs in my time. Bog brush in hand.

    • SuperNashwanPower says:


    • Colonel J says:

      Really, the first thing the title bought to mind was the schoolboy trick of getting the school swimming session closed down by dropping an unwrapped Mars bar in the corner of the pool and waiting for someone to discover it.

      It wasn’t me sir.

  15. LTK says:

    Interesting. It looks like they took some inspiration from the Witcher 2. A three-branched skill tree, melee combat with supportive abilities, emphasis on movement and dodging, combat against humans as well as aliens…

    I would have preferred them to copy the other things that made the Witcher 2 great, but still, you could pick much worse games to ape.

  16. sabasNL says:

    StarWars The Force Unleashed meets Red Faction?

    …Except there is nothing Force-y, Unleashed, or Red about it in my eyes. Looks a bit mediocre.

  17. Strangerator says:

    You all laugh now, but wait till you see this thing flying towards you.

    link to

  18. elvencode says:

    “use your brain” and you see performing an headbutt :P

    interesting the lobster-dogs ;)

  19. Tei says:

    Cyanide make RPG’s I don’t want to play. And are not bad RPG’s, looks good and have the most important parts you want to a RPG. I don’t understand it, but I know it, so I will not buy any other cyanide RPG.

  20. PopeRatzo says:

    I liked Lincoln Logs.

    Do you guys over on the other side of the Atlantic know about Lincoln Logs?

  21. Stevostin says:

    Graphic designers are excellent. Game designers, not that much. Visuals are very exciting, I want to visit the world, but the game, ugh. It’s not even that it’s good or bad, it’s that if you start to speak that this combat system is the first thing you speak about such a game, then all the rest that really matters must be below expectation. Mass Effect sells its world and it’s dialog system first. If you create an original SF world, that’s the way to go.

  22. GreatGreyBeast says:

    What, no chainsaws on Mars jokes? This comment thread is doomed.

  23. Ovidiu GOA says:

    mars has got to be one of the saddest and most bland setting for a game ever. I have not played one game that took place on mars that i enjoyed. Red Faction included.

  24. crinkles esq. says:

    So, this is basically KOTOR meets Enter the Dragon, but without light sabers, or talking, or Bruce Lee, or anything else that might make it interesting? Since it seems your character is acorning for a fight every five seconds…

  25. Zarunil says:

    The combat looks uttely pants.

  26. bstard says:

    I have the feeling this thread > the actual game.