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Pianog Fractions: Drop A Beat, Giuseppe!

Hm, something smells fishy here. And no, actually, it's not the fish.

Drop A Beat, Giuseppe! sort of reminds me of Frog Fractions. Admittedly, there’s hardly any overlap in subject matter or genre(s), but the hilariously unhinged epic’s spirit is alive and well in this one. Without spoiling too much, the “worst pianist to date” simulator seems to be about mashing out cat-shriek-level tunes in order to gingerly hop left and right, avoiding the slings, arrows, and puffer fish of outrageously pissed-off concert-goers in the process. To be honest, that was kind of wonderful (if very short-lived) in itself, but then I found more.


Keep ramming the barrier. Eventually, it’ll shatter, and you’ll be free to stage dive – piano and all – into the crowd. Naturally, they’ll flee in abject horror, because self-preservation instinct is a thing. After that, you can just sort of roam about for a bit. I tried jamming out some keyboard solos that didn’t sound entirely terrible first, but eventually, I decided to see just how far I could go. At that point, there were a few clever Easter Eggs and achievements worth discovering. Needless to say, I laughed.

Even with multiple run-throughs (which I did, to find all the secrets), Drop A Beat’s still ultra-short. But it’s also highly, highly amusing for what essentially amounts to a quick timewaster. It was apparently developed by two people in “about 32 hours,” but I’d love to see more of their wild, pianist-detesting world.

So yes, give Drop A Beat Giuseppe! a go, have a quick laugh, and then get on with your day safe in the knowledge that at least you’re not that bad at what you do for a living. Well, probably. Unless you are. But hey, that means free puffer fish! See, there’s a bright side to everything.

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Nathan Grayson


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