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NOOOOOO, IT STILL HAUNTS: A Third 7th Guest Game

As the debate rages on about the existence of a loving God, vast evidence has been uncovered by those arguing “no”. In a brutal blow to religionists everywhere. Polygon reports that a third 7th Guest game is in development.

You may remember The 7th Guest fondly. That’s because you are one of the following:

1) Forgetful
2) An idiot
3) A mad wasp

The daft and dreadful game gained fame via of its use of videoed humans confusedly shouting something a bit like their lines within rendered backgrounds. Because, yes indeed, the CD-ROM had come along. The result was a limp collection of puzzle-book puzzles (we’re talking sub-sub-Professor Layton style dreary wonders) with some of the worst… I can’t bring myself to call it “acting”, the world has ever seen. Just take a look:

Then there was an even worse sequel, The Eleventh Hour. And now there’s to be a third, from the original developers. There’s inevitably going to be a Kickstarter, which should launch next month.

Right, but let’s be fair. There’s no way of knowing what this new game might be like – it might be amazing! My ideal would be something that spoofs the originals, a game cunningly ridiculing those early 90s days of lunacy, where 650MB of space was too much temptation for developers. I condemn only their earlier game, from a terrifying TWENTY YEARS ago. We are all so old.

Right, go on, make fools of yourselves and claim it was really great in the comments.

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John Walker


Once one of the original co-founders of Rock Paper Shotgun, they killed me out of jealousy. I now run

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