Tim Schafer In Host Master Deux: Host Harder

the host with the most adventure games under his belt

It’s not actually called Host Harder, but it should have been, right? All I’m saying is Double Fine, if you want to pay me thousands of dollars to spend my days writing lazy comedic subtitles based on the names of 80s action movies, you know where I am. Call me. Any time. Any time at all. Wait, I had to step out for a minute – you didn’t call while I was away, did you? Call again now. I’m right here. Right by the phone. Waiting.

And while I wait, I shall be playing Host Master Deux: Quest For Identity (see what I mean? For God’s sakes, Double Fine), the sequel to the 2009 adventure game-ette about Schafer preparing to host the GDC Award Ceremony.

The free, browser-based game is in fact the work of one Major Bueno, who was also responsible for the wondrous recent mini japeathon Caesar’s Day Off. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get Schafer to the church of game creator recoginition on time, in spite of multiple impediments. There are multiple endings too. It’s basically Mass Effect with an unshaven 45-year-old in San Franciso.

Play it for free here.

Wait, was that that phone? Oh, no, just a bee.


  1. Kambyero says:

    Et tu, Bueno?

  2. Agrippan says:

    So, that scene is totally an homage to Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, right? Or maybe it’s just my nostalgia acting up.

  3. pakoito says:

    What’s the password for the joke vault?

    • Ross Angus says:

      Don’t think of it in terms of a password. Perhaps you need to change something else.

  4. Ross Angus says:

    I ate the sleeping pill. Excellent ending.

    • deadpan says:

      That was such a Sierra-style screw you game over, not at all what I would expect from a Lucasarts veteran.

    • Rikard Peterson says:

      The rocket ending isn’t bad either.

      • emertonom says:

        I think the inability to save, such that you have to do 90% of the game three times in order to see the different endings, may be a commentary on The Cave…

    • sbs says:

      oh man i didnt try that. but i already went two times. i guess you can reach the sleeping pills ending the fastest though. gonna go do that.

  5. DrScuttles says:

    But Schafer is now shaved! Why you could almost call him Tim Shav…. no. No, I just can’t finish that one.

    • BarneyL says:

      Puns incur a penalty fee around here. That one was so bad you should pay a double fine.

    • emertonom says:

      Did you play the game? It goes there almost immediately.

  6. Treebard says:

    But Die Hard 2 is technically a 90’s action movie!

  7. sbs says:

    Why can’t i use my goddamn mouse. Obnoxious controls.