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Daytime Soap Or First Trailer For Jane Jensen's Moebius?

what a long torso he has

This trailer is rubbish! That doesn’t mean the game (the result of Gabriel Knight creator Jane Jensen’s successful Kickstarter) will be, of course. But the twangy music and exaggerated, funny-accent-based-acting seems straight out of Days of Our Lives. Also, when the unconvincingly English lead character introduces himself as Malachi Rector, I hear Malachi Rectum. Because I am a child. (Also because of his faux-posh-Brit accent). (But mostly because I am a child).

Eek. Again – the way a trailer is cut doesn’t necessarily say much, if anything, about the game it’s promoting. Especially given this is but alpha footage, so everything is subject to change. Hopefully including some of the panto-style acting. Let’s just hope the next trailer dials back the fromage.

At least the game certainly looks pretty, toting a sort of Sims meets Broken Sword aesthetic. Plus we get a floppy-haired male model type instead of the surly hulks that are the standard template for male videogame stars. Is that better? Don’t ask me, for I am neither male model or hulk. I do have pretty large feet for a man of my short stature, though.

More screenshots on the newly-launched site. Here’s an official plot summary too:

Malachi Rector, a prestigious antiquities expert with an uncanny knowledge of history, travels around the world evaluating antiques for auction houses and private collectors. He can tell at a glance whether a varnish is 14th century Venetian or a 21st century imitation, where a particular hinge was forged, and what tomb an Egyptian artifact came from.

The game begins when a mysterious government agency named F.I.S.T. offers Malachi an odd job: instead of evaluating an antique, he will travel to Venice to investigate the death of a politician’s wife. Though this is far outside the scope of his usual work, Malachi is curious, so he agrees.

What Malachi doesn’t know is that his photographic memory and genius for history is of extreme interest to not only F.I.S.T. and the U.S. government, but to other top-secret agencies as well. And Malachi’s about to meet a man in his travels who holds the key to it all.

Rectum meets FIST then, eh? Um. I need to go stand on a remote mountaintop and laugh loudly to myself until I’ve got this out of my system. So to speak.

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Alec Meer

Senior Editor

Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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