It’s Noisy On Mars – New Mars: War Logs Trailer

An important lesson about background music can be learned from the most recent Mars: War Logs (yes, they’re sticking with “War Logs”) trailer. What should have been an overview of the promising-looking RPG turns into an ear-straining confusion as you try to pick out the voice from the strumming music and shouty game noise. Which is a bit silly of them, because it’s looking rather interesting.

It’s obviously even sillier since Spiders Studio’s narrating CEO, Jehanne Rousseau, has such an epic-awesome accent, making it even harder to pick out what’s being described. But fortunately you can feel that strange twinge of guilt and switch on the YouTube subtitles.

So that’s looking rather promising, isn’t it? It’s from Spiders, who made Of Orcs And Men, and who I insist on believing are actually spiders.


  1. orange says:

    What language is she speaking?

  2. Drayk says:

    French is my first language… and I can’t understand a word she’s saying… Usually French have an hilarious accent but you get what they are trying to say…

    • Gap Gen says:

      That said, the English can be just as bad. Taking the Eurostar from Paris there’s plenty of MURRSEE BOWCOOP SILL VOWS PLATE. But yes, her accent is glorious.

      • BooleanBob says:

        I had that same ‘wait, is she Scottish or French?’ moment I get whenever I hear the Spy.

        • Ravenholme says:

          As a Scot let me assure that no scottish accent sounds like that.

          It’s like she was taught English by someone from New Zealand and the posher parts of England at the same time, and cannibalised part of their accents into her own

          • Gap Gen says:

            Yeah, I’ve heard some amazing hybrid accents. French-Irish, Italian-Mancunian. I will also never get tired of hearing Quebecois/Cajun French.

          • stiffkittin says:

            I’m a Franco-Kiwi and was completely bamboozled after her second sentence. Never heard an accent quite like it. Neither fosh n’ chops nor feesh n’ cheeps but something else entirely. Reminded me more of a Spanish or Portugese accent than a French one.

            When she insisted on making something really eunuch though was quite glad I gave it a listen.

        • kud13 says:

          you could be on to sommehting there. There are a lot of Brazilians living in my residence this year,, and having just come back form a football match with them, and having listened to that trailer again, I understood it a lot better

          I’m guessing she’s from Southern France. Because if she was Parisian her accent wouldn’t be anything like that.

    • SkittleDiddler says:

      She sounds like a French version of Microsoft Narrator.

    • Ansob says:

      I speak both French and English natively, and her accent is so thick that even I can’t understand her.

    • Dowr says:

      I can understand the French lady just fine – and I’m N. Irish.

      But then again, I do have French in me.

    • Teovald says:

      I understand her and I like her accent but I am used to hear non native people speaking English.

    • Shadowcat says:

      Well I could understand her just fine 99% of the time, although I did have to rewind once to cross-reference the appearance of the “x box live” logo at the bottom of the screen with the phrase “ex bé lé” :)

      (and on that note: she mentioned “PC” first! That could be a good sign.)

      • Gap Gen says:

        Reminds me of the trailer with the Idaho farmer in it (Potato boy seeks the troof or something?)

    • Don Reba says:

      I strongly suspect that it is not an accent that she has, but rather she does not speak the language at all and has the English words spelled out in French on the teleprompter.

  3. Gap Gen says:

    And where did you hear about Spiders? On the web. CASE CLOSED.

  4. Noodlemonk says:

    I think Morse: Warlocks looks and sounds really intriguing, and I really hope Spiders Studio can deliver, but Of Orcs And Men (which is an awesome title, by the way – that’s title, as in name, mind you) was a pretty big let down to me. Also, what’s up with that creepy doll face, you’ll be able to romance this time around? She really freaks me out!

  5. Niko says:

    What about Spiderweb Software? I’m pretty sure they were before the Spiders. Hmmm…

  6. jussipe says:

    That slow motion effect in combat looks quite silly!

    Benny Hill – Starsky & Hutch:

  7. ix says:

    What on earth was that romance interest wearing? Is that supposed to look like a skirt?

    • Don Reba says:

      It looks like it used to be a skirt at some point.

    • Lemming says:

      The French shrug at your sexism worries and continue to make love on yesterday’s paintings.

      • Gap Gen says:

        Avec ses maitresses, bien sur.

        But yes, a whole bunch of the workaday French swear words are to do with prostitutes. It’s not that progressive a language.

  8. MrTambourineMan says:

    Mars: Log Wars or something along those lines, I’m quite sure wood would be a rare commodity on Mars.

  9. Don Reba says:

    I promíse you that facing them won’t be a cake walk.

    I guess that means it will neither be a piece of cake nor a walk in the park.

    • Gap Gen says:

      Have you ever tried walking a cake? It’s not easy. Dogs know what’s up, cakes just sit there, and smear about if you try dragging them. Worst pet ever.

  10. Premium User Badge

    distantlurker says:

    At work, no sound. It looks like The Witcher, in space. Does it sound like that too?

    • Teovald says:

      It sounds like a cross between Red Faction & Witcher. But without exploding buildings, which is a shame.
      Still excited by this game though :)

  11. DestructibleEnvironments says:

    I see a “fishdog” from Mass Effect (2) in that trailer.

  12. Ny24 says:

    I’m really excited about that. It should have a playable strong female character. Just saying.

    • Gap Gen says:

      I think the talking head person is the protagonist. At least, I’ll only buy the game if she is.

  13. kud13 says:

    That was the oddest accent I’ve ever heard I don’t think that’s French. They aren’t generally heavy on “h” sounds. and they get their “w”s right.

    that being said, game looks interesting. And the music… well look on the bright side: it wasn’t dubstep.

    • Phasma Felis says:

      I liked the part where she pronounced XBLA as “eeks-bay-a-lay”.

  14. skyturnedred says:

    I like the bit where they say it’s an RPG, but the combat seems really dull.

    • kud13 says:

      It’s an action RPG. think “gun/sword n’ conversations”.

      the RPG supposeldy comes through with quest design and character builds.

  15. GhostBoy says:

    Now how in the ruddy hell did I miss this game? Consider me officially intrigued. I was a bit miffed that there didn’t seem to be any real news on the RPG front until Remember Me hits in June, but I think I just found the game to tide me over.

  16. Drake Sigar says:

    At the end she said ‘Get ready for your journey to Mars’ when she should have said ‘Get your ass to Mars’. Then we’d have an excuse to start a page of Total Recall quotes.

  17. Okami says:

    I’ve read the whole article and all of the 37 comments and there’s not a single Ziggy Stardust/David Bowie reference.

    I’m very disappointed with all of you!

    • Skabooga says:

      Considering the developers, I was looking for a good place to drop a “Spiders from Mars” joke, but I couldn’t figure out the logistics of it, so I’m just going to walk away and leave this here. For All the Young Dudes to look at.

  18. BobbyDylan says:

    Welcome to Mars, which is dark and full of terrors.

    • 11temporal says:

      I hope you fight mars rovers too, I’d love to beat a few of them to a pulp!

  19. Christo4 says:

    Since Mars is supposed to have 1/3 of the gravity of earth shouldn’t people, you know, walk differently, jump higher, have more strenght etc.?

    • Anthile says:


    • Don Reba says:

      Bone demineralization and muscle loss due to low gravity could explain it.

    • Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      Even on Mars a gentleman still proceeds with the same stately, dignified gait. Bounding about like a loon is undignified, and is the province of American moononauts. Feats of strength are similarly discouraged.

  20. elevown says:

    Besides the fact that it looks like mars has a great deal of ice/water – both at the poles and underground- and presumably any colony would be set up near the north pole for easiest access- it looks pretty good.

    Though I wish you could design your character like in mass effect.

  21. MajorManiac says:


  22. Deviija says:

    I’ve been casually following Mars: War Logs off and on over its development. Keeping an interested eye on it. How it sounds, with companions and romance and choice/consequence and solving obstacles in different ways, all sounds neat. I’m disappointed that we cannot choose our character’s sex and that it is a set male protagonist (Roy is his name, no?). White male hero with dark brown short hair, as it usually goes.

    They mention that ‘some’ friendships can turn into romance. Implying that there is more than Mary as a romance option. I’d be quite happy if one of the male companions were romanceable. At least then the set male protagonist would be more flexible and not completely atypical white hetero-only male hero.

  23. Lagwolf says:

    Why do they get people who are inarticulate to do the presentations in these type of videos? It does the game no service.

    • Tagiri says:

      Maybe “they” picked her to narrate since she’s the CEO of the company??