Pummel Panau: Just Cause 2 Multiplayer Test Weekend

Welcome to heaven/hell. Delete as appropriate.
The first rule of the Just Cause 2 Multiplayer beta tests is you talk openly and honestly about them, and leave no detail out. So I thought I’d let you all know that this weekend the mod team plan on running a beta test this very weekend. It’s a remarkable mod that packs players from all over the world into Panau. Remember the chaos you caused as Rico in the single-player? Imagine that multiplied by a thousand players. You’re either grinning or flinching right now, so you’ll already know if it is for you. Whoops! It turns out the second rule is no lazy Fight Club references. Bugger!

I’ll be honest with you, these tests are amazing: the team have managed something of a magic trick in syncing all those players, and it’s everything awful and wonderful you can imagine happening. It is planes taking off at all angles, with people dangling from them and giggling. But it’s also a place where you’re two comments away from the worst sexual and racial slurs you can imagine.

My advice to you if you want to play, but don’t want to despair of humanity: grab a group of friends and a Mumble server, and play with the in-game chat turned off. Don’t look anyone else in the eye, and only visit airports and cities if you’re up for some mayhem. I looked for a video that showed the sort of action you can expect, but even this short, tightly edited one has some salty language in the chat. Just watch it minimised.


  1. Tusque D'Ivoire says:

    I remember a few tests last summer which were horrible and awesome at the same time, but I had lots of fun.
    The best thing is: You’re Rico, and you might meet another Rico, fling a couple grenades at each other, notice that the aiming system is just too laggy, and drive off into the sunset together, in a double decker bus, one driving, the other one lobbing grenades at said sunset.

    Or, yes try the RPS mumble server and have weird fun times rolling around the jungle like ninja-monkeys with fellow RPSers .

  2. The Random One says:

    Let’s have an RPS road trip! Just driving town to town, being British at people!

    • Zarf says:

      I’d imagine the RPS community would be really fun to play with in this game. Would you guys mind terribly having a midwestern-accented American tagging along? I can’t really be British at people, as I’m not a genuine Brit, but I can midwestern American all over the place. Whaddaya say?

      • Mr. Mister says:

        Sure, just memorize these lines from the game:
        link to youtu.be

        • Pengwertle says:

          I still have no idea how most reviewers didn’t realize the dialogue was supposed to be satirical, even after that bit.

        • oyog says:

          He probably won’t need to memorize those lines. Ninety percent of us say those things on a daily basis.

  3. SkittleDiddler says:

    Maybe this time around shooting an opponent will actually have an effect?

    • Mr. Mister says:

      They have been improving the latency on each test. And if you still have too high of a ping, you can use manual aim prediction to your advantage to prove who’s intellectually superior.

      • SkittleDiddler says:

        The last time I played, it wasn’t latency that was preventing damage from registering. They either had damage calculation turned off or something else was going on, but latency definitely wasn’t the issue. Regardless, I’m not really giving JCMP a fair shake so take my complaint with a grain of salt.

        • Mr. Mister says:

          You can’t see it, but it really is the ping, you see: For someone to get damaged by a bullet, the impact has to take place on their computer. If you shoot at someone, you tel the server where you are, where you’re aiming, and when you’re shooting, bu not where those bullets impact. Instead, the server then tells all that to the other player, and such actions take place in their machine. But due to ping, what in your computer was a clear impact may have missed on the other player’s computer, thus not damaging him. Furthermore, until last test, visual damage on vehicles was not synched, so if you had many hits on your end but not on theirs, you could see their vehicle fuly functional but in flames, wondering why the hell they wouldn’t explode.

          Oh, and empty vehicles are invulenarble for now, for a good bunch of reasons.

          • Glottis1 says:

            I remember playing the demo on xbox and it was really run. Demo was better than the full game for me, becase it had good good starting location and the timer somehow made it more focused experience.

            Most annoying thing for me was that i was out of ammo all the time. In game like this you should never be worried about running out of ammo. Good missons would have made this game a lot better. The world is too big and generic to explore on its own.

  4. Bhazor says:

    I honestly just don’t see the devotion this game gets sometimes. The hookshot’s awesome but the rest of the game was just so bland and repetitive. The worst part being the vehicle missions which were just piss easy time trials. For sandbox muck abouts Red Faction: Guerrilla and Saints Row 2+3 beat it on all counts.

    • MOKKA says:

      Well it does have this Superman Mod (or however it’s actually called – the one which makes you fly around), which makes the game pretty awesome.

    • Mr. Mister says:

      Nah, you’re just one of the few people whose thing isn’t JC2. There’s nothing wrong with that.
      On another note: Race notices may come on the chat, so don’t just turn it off blindingly: from the easy-peasy thing the were in SP, races are currently hands down the funniest thing to do, apart from landboating.

      • Sinnorfin says:

        ” Race notices may come on the chat, so don’t just turn it off blindingly: ”

        Dem racists with their race notes…

    • Feferuco says:

      That’s your problem, you were doing the missions. Honest mistake.

      • LionsPhil says:

        JC2’s actual missions, faction and agency, are a greatest-hits of action film stunts, though. And they remembered to let you actually play them, rather than press X to automatically do them.

    • gwathdring says:

      I found Saints Row 3 frustrating for the same reasons. Both are only really fun for me as mayhem simulators and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed both of them. It’s not the kind of game that I thought I’d enjoy.

      Just Cause has the advantage of a gorgeous, massive environment with lots of explosions. Saints Row has the advantage of short distances between challenges and more tightly designed mini-games. But … tighter design of the mini-games just means you don’t get bored of them as quickly. They’re just as repetitive.

      Saints Row also has the advantage of irreverent humor, though, which is worth a lot to some people. For my own tastes, Saints Row 3 wins by virtue of the Zombie dub and what it represents. Even the captions are nonsense in the Zombie dub. My character sang a song as a Zombie incapable of human speech. The degree to which Saints Row 3 is willing to make fun of itself and let you enjoy the mechanics on your own terms is admirable. When Saints Row decides not to take itself seriously … it’s not even interested in shoving irreverence in your face and forcing campy, swearing-laden dialog down your throat. That stuff is there if you’re into it, but you can escape even the “nothing is sacred” shtick and just blow things up. Just Cause does not let you escape from action movie cliches, by counter-example.

      I don’t think this is a better way of making games. I love many a directed, immersing experience. But for a game that just wants to have “fun?” It’s hard to imagine a better design ethos than that of Saints Row 3, whether or not you like the game’s brand of humor.

      • Bhazor says:

        But that’s my problem. As a mayhem simulator its rubbish, you seem to fight nothing but grunts and the occasional jeeps and your only weapons are guns. Compare that to Hulk Ultimate Destruction or Red Faction: Guirella (a game I think deserves far more praise than it got). Not only are the missions infinitely more interesting but the enemies you fight and the weapons you fight them with change and scale up as you go. By the end of Hulk I was fighting fifty foot robots by hurling army tanks at them and in Red Faction I had a spear gun that could shoot a hole through six walls pass through a troop carrier (killing all passengers) and then embed into a tank tossing it twenty feet sideways.

        What were you doing five hours into Just Cause 2? Liberating the third identical stronghold? Fighting the same half dozen soldiers? Trying to find something to do?

        To me the problem with Just Cause 2 is it gives you a fantastic hookshot/parachute mechanic, which I adore and which should be liberally stolen by all games. then gives you the most boring setting to use it. The reason being it gives you a pile of barely distinguishable guns that are far more effective and there are precious few enemies that need to be fought with any creativity.

        At least multiplayer seems to finally give you something interesting to fight. So maybe I’ll give it another go.Its like its finally become aware of what it actually.

        • The Random One says:

          I agree that Just Cause 2 was too easy to be engaging, but conversely Red Faction: Guerilla was too hard to be amusing. I get you are a GUERILLA fighter and is supposed to be outnumbered and outnumbered, but your enemies’ behaviour was better suited for the tiny crossdressing god of war you are in a Saints’ Row game.

        • JuJuCam says:

          Oh man one of the great tragedies of modern gaming is that there hasn’t been a follow up to Hulk Ultimate Destruction. I wish I knew where my copy was… I would play the crap out of that on a regular basis. Prototype just doesn’t tickle the joy centres in quite the same way…

    • derbefrier says:

      Yeah its not the best action game around but its fun in short bursts. The pure novelty of running around the island blowing shit up and acting goofy with 1000 other people is worth a few bucks alone.

  5. Somerled says:

    Anyone else think this should have been the game? One large server, thousands of Ricos, nonstop fuckery.

    • Mr. Mister says:

      Oh, one noteworthy thing: This test requires Steam authentification, so no pirates this time (in-game boat raids will still take place though).

      EDIT: Meant to post this on a new comment, not on a reply. Oh well.

      • MeestaNob says:

        That’s very reasonable, seeing as the game has been only $5 a gazillion times.

      • LionsPhil says:

        What’s the deal with this thing, anyway? It’s some standalone hacked-up version?

    • Geen says:

      Shenanigans. Shenanigans everywhere.

  6. waaaaaaaals says:

    The first few betas were amazing, before the chat turned into pure rubbish mixed with pure hate.

    Also because of the limited amount of vehicles back then, you could take an APC, drive it down to the “wrong way” on the roads around the starting area and scare the living hell out of all the people coming the other way.

    • Delusibeta says:

      Hopefully the Steam requirement will cut down on dickery and people who think they’re posting on /v/.

      (it probably won’t).

      Incidentally, it appears that you need to get an account on their website (read: go to their website, click the Sign In With Steam button on the top right, sign in with Steam [don’t worry, it’s legit], and finalise your username. Do it now before the rush brings down the server).

  7. dE says:

    This oddly looks like Transformice with Guns. Just one big mess of interaction, a festival for a sociologist.

  8. Mr. Mister says:

    And that’s the oldest video there exists of a JC2-MP beta BTW.

    Here’s a video I found featuring last test’s star: races. link to youtube.com

  9. jimangi says:

    I can never resist an opportunity to point people towards this video containing folks from the unofficial RPS Mumble having a jolly old time. Though it does unavoidably mostly focus on my actions, as I was filming. link to youtube.com

  10. jimmydean239 says:

    I had a crack at this for a couple of hours this morning. and found it a delightful way to waste a bit of time. It did sort of remind me of playschool though. Basically, I harassed anyone with a bigger/better toy than I had until I could either take it away from them or destroy it. It does make me worry about my formative years.

    • monkwon says:

      I almost felt guilty when I realised I could drag people slowly behind my tuck-tuck with the grappling hook.

  11. jimmydean239 says:

    Just as a quick update for any latecomers to the party, the test has now been extended until Sun 28 May! See you in game for some crazy shenanigans.