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Pummel Panau: Just Cause 2 Multiplayer Test Weekend

Welcome to heaven/hell. Delete as appropriate.

The first rule of the Just Cause 2 Multiplayer beta tests is you talk openly and honestly about them, and leave no detail out. So I thought I’d let you all know that this weekend the mod team plan on running a beta test this very weekend. It’s a remarkable mod that packs players from all over the world into Panau. Remember the chaos you caused as Rico in the single-player? Imagine that multiplied by a thousand players. You’re either grinning or flinching right now, so you’ll already know if it is for you. Whoops! It turns out the second rule is no lazy Fight Club references. Bugger!

I’ll be honest with you, these tests are amazing: the team have managed something of a magic trick in syncing all those players, and it’s everything awful and wonderful you can imagine happening. It is planes taking off at all angles, with people dangling from them and giggling. But it’s also a place where you’re two comments away from the worst sexual and racial slurs you can imagine.

My advice to you if you want to play, but don’t want to despair of humanity: grab a group of friends and a Mumble server, and play with the in-game chat turned off. Don’t look anyone else in the eye, and only visit airports and cities if you’re up for some mayhem. I looked for a video that showed the sort of action you can expect, but even this short, tightly edited one has some salty language in the chat. Just watch it minimised.

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Craig Pearson

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I love square sausage, cats, and climbing pretend rocks.

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