I haven’t been back, or even been inclined to go back, to Guild Wars 2 since its initial release, though that probably says at least as much about me and my grasshopper mind as it does about it. I know a bunch of people are playing it, but I don’t know how I can usefully address them about what’s going on with the game, at least not without becoming something of a fraud. A free, tongue-in-cheek retro platformer based on GW2 though? That I can tell you about, and I don’t need to say even a single thing about high-level content to do it.
There perhaps isn’t anything especially remarkable about Rytlock’s Critter Rampage – I mean, throw a rock into the internet air and you’ll hit a dozen 16-bit-styled 2D platformers. The focus on kicking animals to death is deviantly entertaining however, and it’s impressively unforgiving too. Repeated murder by the first couple of enemies, whose movement patterns I was being too lazy to track, soon had my mouth snarling and my nostrils flaring. So there’s that.
It all stems from Guild Wars 2’s surprisingly elaborate April Fool’s update, which turned the MMO (ooh, they don’t entirely like it when you call it that) into a sort of hybrid of Minecraft and Mario 64. We didn’t cover that at the time because we all Captain Frowny-Face about International Obvious Lie Day, but here’s what was involved. Well-observed, I think. Stop the graphics!
And a sort of Making Of, plus a better look at how this worked in-game:
Anyway, you want the animal-kicking game, don’t you? Here you are.