Eight Lasery, Lizardy Mins Of Blood Dragon’s Open World

Awww, I bet he just wants a hug.

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, wherefore art thou Blood Dragon? Well – and this is just a hunch – I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s because of all the blood dragons. Thing is, our peeks at the neon-drowned shurikensplosion of a game have thus far been confined by story, (somewhat oddly) removing said retro-future laser reptiles from the spotlight. Now, though, it’s time for a tour of the expandalone’s open world, and the dragons are done tip-toeing about. They are real, they are pissed, and they want cyber hearts for some reason. Watch them frolic, romp, stomp, and shoot helicopters out of the sky using only their eyeballs and their wits after the break.

A shotgun that shoots explosions and immediately catches neo-future-chromegrass on fire? Oh my. Oh my yes. And sometimes, after firing a shot or throwing a grenade, your character just flips people off? For no reason? That is truly magnificent.

Unsurprisingly, Blood Dragon seems to ape Far Cry 3’s structure, except bigger and loonier and “that’s my kind of blowjob”-ier. Imposing, tall-walled garrisons replace rinky dinky outposts this time around, and their laser fences are impregnable except to other lasers. At the end of the day, however, the goal is still to eliminate all enemies and claim bases as your own, so the core of this one is still definitely Far Cry 3.

But then there are blood dragons. They chase cyber hearts like slavering mongrels, surfboard-sized tongues lolling in the breeze. As a result, it looks like you have some degree of control over them, but only until your temporary distraction dries up. I like it as an upgrade to Far Cry 3’s already insanely amusing wildlife dynamic, though, and am praying to the cybergods that blood cassowaries turn up at some point or another.

Blood Dragon’s out on May 1st. That is not many days from now. Are you ready?


  1. brulleks says:

    It looks very promising, but I couldn’t stand more than a few seconds of having to listen to that guy’s voice. Why must they always ruin these videos by having someone tell us what they are doing at the same time as we see them doing it?

    It’s as though the last century of film-making never happened. Just show us the damn game. Most of us have enough wits to relate one moving image to the next.

    (sorry, sore point this morning as I have to get a lot of work done on my own screenplay!)

    • Gwilym says:

      I’m pretty sure it’s an attempt to bank on the “Let’s Play” fad. Most of the popular YouTube gameplay commentaries are every bit as banal as this one.

      I’m convinced this is all the direct result of multiplayer going online and robbing people of the social side of gaming. I also suspect such videos fulfill the role of ‘cool older brother’ for a lot of only children.

      (I have only scant, circumstantial evidence for any of this.)

      • Asherie says:

        @Gwilym I live in the middle of nowhere, have no siblings, nor friends. I love watching let’s plays. You may add me to your [probably substantial] circumstantial pile of evidence lol

        edit: Oh you said ‘scant’. I missed that. Well anyway, I think you’re right in other words.

        • Asherie says:

          I randomly felt I should come back to this post and add ‘because my friends moved away’. Not because I was always a loner or anything… I imagine it’s more the lack of siblings thing anyway. I still watched let’s play’s before they left, so…

      • Geen says:

        Only child here, guilty as charged.

    • All is Well says:

      Lord, he really is awful, isn’t he?
      His opening statement is, literally “Hello and welcome… to… errh… the video, that is, you’re watching right now.”

      At least he seems a bit more honest about the depth and meaningfulness of Far Cry 3 than Yohalem.

      • Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

        I thought I was listening to a bad impression of Wheatley from Portal 2.

      • DickSocrates says:

        Sounds very false, like they hired a bad stand up comedian to “be funny while you play it” or just got some guy in the office. It’s trying too hard.

      • darkChozo says:

        I interpreted it as poking fun at the usual developer commentary, mimicking the structure and barely-concealed scriptedness but taking it a lot less seriously. Whether it hits the mark or not is up to the viewer.

  2. Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    Truly, this game is all things to all men. When this is released, we might as well roll up the Internet, for it has achieved its purpose.

    • RedViv says:

      Indeed. I do not think it is legal, let alone physically possible according to current theories in the field of Science, to combine words into anything more awesome than NEON LASER DRAGON.

      • Lagwolf says:

        This game is one of the most fun things I have played in a while. it is ludicrous and over the top. I had more fun with than F3. I hope they do a sequel. Those of a certain age (ie lived through the 80s) will have loads of fun with oddles of cultural/game/movie references. The music is great… dinos & lazers.

      • Geen says:


  3. AlwaysRight says:

    This is a really weird situation where you guys can only report having seen peeks of a game that is freely available to pirate. Freely available to pirate because of exploits in Ubisoft’s DRM… weird, and raises alot of interesting talking points.

    • analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

      What there are torrents already?

      • Kobest says:

        Yep, it’s been “out” for two weeks or so, you can already find whole playthroughs on YouTube.

        • AlwaysRight says:

          Yet RPS can’t review it yet. It’s all a little bit silly.

          • honuk says:

            They can review it all they want. They just won’t, because in spite of all the bluster they want to be on Ubi’s good side. Journalism in action.

          • Mungrul says:

            Yes, because posting a complete review of a game that’s only available through piracy at the moment and hasn’t had review copies released is incredibly legally sensible.

          • honuk says:

            You means like Ubi has shut down all those lets-play’s and full playthroughs on youtube? of which there are a million?

            It is a farce to continue to play a PR game with trailers and information reveals when I can take five seconds to click my way to every possible bit of information the game contains. Either go all the way or don’t report on the game at all until you plan on reviewing it, because this kind of coverage is a bit of a mockery of the term. RPS calls out publishers all the time on a number of issues, but actions speak louder. We know who butters their bread.

          • derbefrier says:

            Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. It would not look good for a gaming site to openly pirate games at all.

          • MentatYP says:

            I see this with all kindness: you are an idiot. Ubisoft haven’t taken down all those playthrough videos because they’re small potatoes. If RPS or any other well-respected gaming site did this there would be hell to pay including possible legal action. RPS never has and never will condone piracy, and a review using a pirated copy of the game would be just that. Better try harder to find your conspiracy-theorist proof for why RPS is secretly in the pay of the industry.

          • Urthman says:

            I definitely don’t want RPS to start reviewing Let’s Play videos of leaked and pirated versions of unreleased games. Bleah.

            But would there be any actual legal repercussions for RPS if they were to report on details of the game based on one of those videos? It may be illegal to make and post one of those videos, but surely there’s no law against watching and writing an article about one of them?

          • Spakkenkhrist says:

            Honuk, just wanted to let you know how ridiculous you sound, I’m surprised you didn’t sign off with WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

    • PopeRatzo says:

      I’m gonna play the hell out of this game.

  4. analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

    The map looks tiny!

  5. Kobest says:


    Anyone else noticed the ears hanging from the main bad guy’s necklace from the trailer? :D

  6. GreatGreyBeast says:

    I have no idea what that guy meant about Bioshock Infinite being the apotheosis of the FPS. Clearly, THIS is the apotheosis of the FPS. I don’t see why RPS even bothers to cover other games anymore..

  7. Syra says:

    I’m in love. Also it seems there’s a flip off button… Truly a necessary game mechanic for all things going forward?

  8. wodin says:

    Sorry that looked pretty damn boring to be honest..Saints Row kind of has the top spot for silliness and even that after a few hours becomes repetitive.

  9. roryok says:

    This is the game Duke Nukem Forever should have been.

  10. ratache says:

    Looks fun like hell. Bring it on.

  11. SuicideKing says:

    I think it’s the same FC3 map. Are there laser sharks as well?

    Anyway, this seemed to be a lot of fun. Awesome weapons. Halo 5 could use them.

  12. Jesse L says:

    Looks ace, will play. This guy’s funny too, I’d subscribe to his channel.

  13. 2helix4u says:

    This game is basically what everyone was worried bulletstorm was going to be. If your idea of comedy is the word “shitdicks” then you are in for a treat. This game hasnt a single ounce of cleverness in it and it repeats all the gameplay sins of its father.
    Understand that this type of parody is my favourite thing and this one just falls short because the writers are still much less talented than they think they are.
    I can only hope when RPS do review this that it doesnt get accused of cleverness the way the previews have because that would break my heart.

    If you havent read/seen all the parodies it takes from then it might be funny I guess and at least ts more engaging than Farcry 3 which in the interest of full disclosure is my most hated game of the last couple years.

  14. buzzmong says:

    Visually, it’s what I imagined all those 80’s games with the awesome futuristic box art on the Commodore 64 to be like.

    That is far from being a bad thing.

  15. comatose247 says:

    Can anyone who has played an “advanced” copy of this confirm whether or not all exterior locations (which I assume will be pretty much like 90% of the game) have that terrible red(red-ish?) tint/haze to everything? I was thinking of picking this up until I saw this video and it made me want to vomit a little bit. That is going to determine whether I buy it. If that occurs for a significant amount of time then I simply won’t be able to play it.

    • soylentcola says:

      Yes, it is all the same color “theme”. I guess there may be a part that is not like that at the end but I’m not sure (don’t want to spoil anything but there is a point of no return at one juncture and I have not passed it yet as I want to clear out all of the optional stuff first).

      Otherwise, the game is fun. I was given a copy by a friend who no doubt got one of these unofficial “advance” copies and I’ve enjoyed it. My problem with FC3 was that the storyline was ridiculous and it took away from the otherwise fun and attractive game. This doesn’t take itself seriously and I am much more satisfied with a cheesy storyline when it doesn’t take itself seriously and fits the overall theme of the game.

      That’s all I will say since it’s not fair to spoil things when you get these early peeks. If you liked FC3, this is really like a “skin” of that game. Aside from a few tweaked mechanics, gameplay is identical.

      I believe it is going to cost $15USD when it comes out and I will definitely be buying a copy (if only because I easily got that much enjoyment from it.) I may be impatient enough to play a game like this early but I’m not such a dick that I think these things don’t cost money to make.

      • comatose247 says:

        Thanks for the reply. I figured it was just a skin and considering the price I was fine with that. Would have been awesome to play since it sounds like some awesome 80s action movie cheese. Alas, due to red green color-blindness issues I cannot stand anything with heavy fall/warm colors i.e. red green brown and combinations of those colors. Well, saved me 15 bucks then.