It’s About Time We Write About Plants Vs Zombies 2

Bolts instead of flowers in the logo? Hmmmmmm.

“Son, did I ever tell you the story of Plants vs Zombies?”

“Yes, dad, like, 20 time–”

“It was soooooo great. Made people go like this. I mean, plants? Fighting zombies? Hilaaaaaarious! But then it tipped its hat and rode off into the mobile/social sunset, never to be seen again. And we were like this. Lulllllz. It’s been ages since then. I don’t think you’d even been born yet.”

“It’s been four years. Really not that long in the grand scheme of things. I am 27.”

“Well, I still demand a sequel. It feels like we’ve been waiting forever. And not a whisper from PopCap, either. They ought to title it Plants vs Zombies 2: It’s About Time. Lolololololol.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what they’re calling it. But I’m guessing it’s actually a cheeky reference to some kind of time travel twist. Bolts in the logo, double-meaning in the title, etc. It’s coming out this July. Are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry, too busy Vining this whole conversation.”

[This has been an excerpt from the hotly anticipated upcoming novel, My Dad: The Internet.]

PopCap announced the cleverly titled sequel’s full name and release month in a teaser video. You can view it belowabouts. There’s really not much else to say at this point (remember kids, substance-free is way to be I guess), which is probably why I ended up writing, um, whatever that is up there.

If we’re lucky, PopCap used the extra time to really evolve the PvZ formula for the better – not just add mightier lawn ents and creatures from the beyondest part of the beyond. If we really are in for a sci-fi change of scenery, I like our chances of getting something that’s at least different – if not necessarily better. Potentially worrisome, however, is the prospect of incessant microtransactions. They certainly aren’t out of the question with EA’s green thumb sowing the seeds. I imagine we’ll find out soon enough, though. But until then, this:


  1. Nurdell says:

    They’ll probably add MOBA to it, because it’s what everybody is doing nowadays!

  2. Fumarole says:

    I hope they don’t soil the game’s good name.

    • Lambchops says:

      Agreed, I hope Popcap do a good job of garden its reputation.

    • Untruth says:

      I feel like the original has wilted now but this should be a blossoming opportunity to dig the franchise back up from the dead.

    • Fomorian1988 says:

      Ah, dammit – another pun thread sprouted. Well, it was due time for one.

    • Pamplemousse says:

      I hope this game blossoms into something wonderful.

    • Fenixius says:

      I think we should all stay firmly rooted in reality. Plant your feet deep into the mossy earth, and we’ll wait this one out together, rather than blowing our spores into the wind with hyperbolic hypotheses.

    • Grargh says:

      Honestly, after the glorious first game I don’t see mushroom for improvement.

      • Gap Gen says:

        There’s talk of new, tougher zombies, which would make for a melon cauliflower.

        • matrixdll says:

          Personally I think that these brain-dead waves of nostalgia are driven by the moon logic and just digging far too deep into fans’ brains.

          [Um, moon? Cuz moon makes zombies to look scary at night? And also they usually take control of the ocean waves? Ah sod it! English is a weird-weird thing, so – back to titting the motherland… ah, freak, that did sound even weirder]

    • Vandelay says:

      About blooming tyme. Weed bean waiting sow long for this.

  3. RedViv says:

    Yet still, one important point in the story remains unclear: Who does the music, and where in the world did George Fan go?

    • rustybroomhandle says:

      Those things. Those are exactly the things I want to know.

    • SeismicRend says:

      The day following PvZ 2’s announcement they lay off George Fan, PvZ’s lead designer. That EA move was a spray of herbicide to my PvZ 2 enthusiasm.

    • Karuji says:

      I fully agree with this, also anyone know how terrible PvZ social was ;_;

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      Hodge says:

      It’s like the White Stripes announcing a new album, and in the same press release mentioning that both Jack and Meg have left the band.

    • Falcon says:

      Precisely! The game wouldn’t be the same without George and Shigi =(

  4. Chalky says:

    Is it possible for EA to not shit all over a good game these days?

    PvZ is a pretty simple game when it comes down to it, hopefully they can resist the urge to be EA.

    If not, I look forward to hearing them justify how my garden has to be always online so I can dynamically sync my zombie kill count with that of all my friends, a feature without which the game would not be worth playing. How else will I impress people when I run the hordes over in my Nissan™ Leaf™ DLC car.

    • sabrage says:

      Buy that plant you’ll only use for this one particular level for $4.99!

    • Ovno says:

      I couldn’t agree more, I really want this game to be great, but I will be very, very surprised if EA don’t screw it all and fertilize my lawn with drm, always online ‘functionality’ and micro-payments…

      • mouton says:

        As long as the core game is solid you can simply ignore microtransactions. I know, I do it all the time.

        • Ovno says:

          Oh indeed I do the same myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry that EA will put vital items in micro transactions…

          After all this does kind of fall under the EA social remit…

  5. Nim says:

    Mark my words. There will be an online mode available where you can invite your friends to together defend your neighbourhoods against the zombie horde and where you’ll be able to share some limited resource and buff each other’s plants somehow.

  6. ichtyander says:

    So, it’s about time… travel?

  7. Teovald says:

    so a teaser trailer without a single image from the game and that cleverly implies that their fans are ridiculous obese nerds or annoying kids ? What a wonderful idea !

    • RedViv says:

      Because those are the only folks shown, yep.
      Oh, I forgot that I’m insane and probably imagined all the other people in the video.

      • Gap Gen says:

        I know what you mean. In Command and Conquer, I imagined someone was appearing on my screen and telling me to murder everyone. I assumed I was becoming psychotic.

    • Widthwood says:

      First guy is Francis, a popular game reviewer on youtube, others look like a bunch of stock people.

  8. Malcolm says:

    I’m really disappointed that the they missed the obvious “It’s about Thyme” pun :(

  9. Vinraith says:

    I really enjoyed PvZ, but I was pretty sick of it by the time I was done with it. I can’t say that I’m clamoring for more.

  10. sabasNL says:

    And the Best Contentless Trailer of the Year 2013 goes to….

    Plants versus Zombies 2!

  11. Singularity says:

    I’d rather know where the next Peggle game is!

  12. bills6693 says:

    Where can I pre-order My Dad: The Internet? :P

  13. Bhazor says:

    Popcap are now owned by EA.

    Nice while it lasted.

    So is no one going to mention the use of a joke mentally handicapped guy in the trailer?

  14. cyan says:

    7x Sunflowers first row, garlic garlic (to trip up them pesky pole vaulters and give you time to replace a half eaten garlic,
    Melonpault, Machine gun pea shooter, fire thing then a whole bunch of spike weed
    Middle row star whatsits and last two garlic, repeat.

    All zombies funneled down to lanes 2 and 4 which are rediculous overkill, man

    Don’t even start me on cat-tails on the pool levels..


  15. GaryCXJk says:

    I still want my Peggle 3 though…

  16. MacTheGeek says:

    Doesn’t count as a trailer unless there’s a sunflower singing about the zombies on your lawn.