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Shhhhh: Payday 2 Probably Just Stole Your Wallet

Don't shoot until you see the whites of their horrifying weirdgross clown masks and OK just shoot whenever please

And you didn’t even notice. That’s how cold, calculating, and quiet it is. It rushed your home and left no witnesses. Your coat rack? Lying in a pool of its own fabrics. Your pet goldfish? Sleeping with the fishes. Other fishes. Dead ones. And you? Next. Hah, just kidding. I have no idea why someone’s stalking through your home, but it’s not Payday 2‘s fault. The heist-’em-up’s new trailer is disarmingly quiet, though. Admittedly, it’s all pre-scripted, but the big takeaway seems to be that this one’s going for methodical stealth over the first’s Left 4 Dead with cops approach.  Also, clown masks. They’re reeeeeally unsettling, pretty much no matter what. It’s all after the break.

“See how much fun it is to rob banks with friends!” the trailer’s description notes excitedly. Advice to live by, I think most will agree.

The (new) Sam Fisher approach isn’t your only option, though. Payday 2 boasts options, which will be further accentuated by the way you customize your character.

“Each job allows for multiple approaches, such as slow and stealthy ambushes, to running in guns blazing. Hit the target any way you want, and watch as the heist unfolds accordingly. As players progress they can invest in any of four special Skill Trees: the Mastermind, the Enforcer, the Ghost and the Technician. Each features a deep customization tree of associated skills and equipment to master, and they can be mixed and matched to create the ultimate heister.”

Then you can join the Ultimate Heisting Championship and out-heist other heisty heisters heisterly. Or something. Payday 2 certainly sounds like a step up from the original, though, and I’m all for more games in which guns are our last resort – just after popping out from around corners and shouting “BOO” with clown faces not even a clown mother could love.

It’ll be out this August. Who’s thinking of heisting (except, you know, by spending money) a copy of their own?

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Nathan Grayson

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