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After Bizarre Piracy Snafu, Vampire Smile Heads To PC

This single screenshot contains every gross thing ever happening all at once. As far as I'm concerned, it deserves a place in the Louvre.

I’m not sure why anyone would name their stylishly gore-spattered, guitar-fueled beat-’em-up The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile, but I assume it involved refrigerator magnets and the world’s smartest catapult. Sadly, the 2011 XBLA brawler never made it to PC, and the skies wept crocodiles which then wept crocodile tears. Oh, and so did a Russian developer named Barabus. So naturally, he decided to crack the Xbox version and make his own unofficial PC port, because by his logic, creator Ska Studios wasn’t planning to make any money off a PC version anyway. Perfectly logical, right? At least, until you think about it for three seconds. Ska head James Silva isn’t angry, though. Not really. But the fact is, Barabus misjudged his intentions. He’s been wanting to make a PC port since day one.

Silva (sorta) announced the port in a blog post addressing all the drama surrounding the Barabus’ unofficial version.

“Porting Vampire Smile to PC as an enhanced Director’s Cut has been something I’ve been wanting to do since launch (I was calling it Georgelucasing until Michelle made me stop), and we had actually broached the subject with Microsoft last Friday, almost a week before this happened. Nothing’s set in stone, but we got the go ahead to make a pre-announcement: we’ll be working with Microsoft to bring our stuff to PC.”

Presumably, that means Vampire Smile is just the beginning. If we’re lucky, we’ll also get prequel The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai and the equally cheery sounding Charlie Murder.

So that’s exciting – at least, assuming Microsoft ends up letting the port(s) go through without any arbitrary Windows 8 shenanigans. Has anyone tried these on Xbox, though? Are they really worth all the fuss?

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Nathan Grayson

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