Meanwhile, in The Future:
[A couple, walking down a glistening chrome sidewalk, marveling at the chrome butterflies and chrome sunset via their Google Chrome Reality Browser Interfaces]
Man A: “What a world we live in! So much opportunity and technology and beauty. Magical pocket rectangles that tell us everything we could possibly need to know, rapid transport across the globe, boundless entertainment, and jetpacks for everyone.”
Woman A: “Yeah! And we don’t even have to deal with pesky names anymore. Just extremely limited designations based on physical characteristics and letters. This is the best!”
[The couple suddenly hears a cry nearby and rushes to find its source: a man shuddering and pointing at the sky, practically soaked bone-deep with sweat]
Man B: “Uh… uh… up there! It’s… it’s…!”
Woman A: “Oh lord. Triads.”
Man A: “But we morphed into dogs and crotch-bit them to death back in the ’90s, and then society flourished. Look at my jetpack! LOOK. This can’t be happening!”
Woman A: “Well, based on the fact that they’re up there, just kind of floating and occasionally gyrating, I’m gonna say that they’ve risen. Again.”
Yes, Interceptor’s Rise of the Triad revival is coming out later this month – specifically, on July 31st. You’ll be able to grab it on Steam, Green Man Gaming, Apogee’s website, or GOG for $14.99. The latter two shops will offer the game entirely bereft of any sort of DRM.
There’s also an Apogee Throwback Knick Knack Paddy Wack Back To Back Snack Pack (I may have added some of those words) in it for you if you pre-order, but probably don’t do that because you have no idea if the game is actually going to be any good yet. Nothing against Rise of the Triad, but preorders ask you to fire blind and hope your wallet doesn’t take the bullet in vain. Then again, this one’s only $14.99. It’s your call.
At any rate, Rise of the Triad is about light speed shooting and occult imagery and fire-vomiting eyeball bats – a distinctly “retro” brand of wackiness still sneezing powder from its modern makeover. Most writers probably would’ve put that sentence at the beginning of their article, but I didn’t because subversion or rebellion or I’m a repressed author of terrible fiction or something. But yeah, July 31st. How are you feeling about ROTT?