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Splendid Man: White Noise Online


My dad’s “darkness preparation training” seemed psychotic at the time, but he was readying me for the world ahead. He was surprisingly prescient: he would turn the lights off as I was walking down the stairs, he’d throw paint in my eyes when I least expected it (which was all the time), and when darkness fell he’d glue my eyes open so my cones and rods could acclimatise. “Nae son ah mine wull be one ae them yon Youtube screamurs”, he’d say in his gruff Glaswegian patois. And now, because of his remarkably specific reasoning, I don’t get scared while playing games and don’t scream for the entertainment of others. Thanks, dad. You’re the “best”. So the charms of White Noise Online will be lost on me, but the rest of you might enjoy this upcoming co-op horror game that’s slightly inspired by Scooby Doo.

Actually, the idea of a team of ghost hunters getting picked off is such a good idea for a multiplayer game that I’m surprised it’s not been done before. Up to four players can trip through the darkness, attempting to find the tape recorders, while keeping out of the monster’s tummy. Those that do end up monster munch return to the game as a ghost. It’s already been out on Xbox Live, and seems to have had a positive reception. Our lovely chums over at Outside Xbox played through a level for your entertainment.

Hmm. It does seem like death is inevitable. Is there no way to fight off the monsters? When everyone has succumbed, the game will show you the route you took: it’s apparently not uncommon to have been wandering in unhelpful circles. Watching this makes me think there’s definitely scope for a Scooby Doo game: each player taking the role of the investigator, while a GM lays traps and tricks and selects the bad guy. Did I just come up with the best game ever?

White Noise Online is on Steam Greenlight.

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Who am I?

Craig Pearson


I love square sausage, cats, and climbing pretend rocks.

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