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Taaaaake Onnnn Maaars (Take! On! Mars!) Footage

Mars Car! Nooooooooooooooooo

Every time I read the title Take On Mars, I immediately get this song stuck in my head – just with Mars-ified lyrics and imagery. It is magnificent. If you could see inside my brain, you’d immediately call the police but then also be like, “Oh, but that re-imagined ’80s pop song is pretty neat.” As a game, however, Bohemia’s out-of-this-world effort bears only a passing resemblance to A-ha’s iconic tale of love, fiction bleeding into real, and wrench battles. That’s a shame, because I feel like more hyper-accurate Mars exploration simulators could use a touch of sexy, sexy synth, but maybe that’s just me. Judge for yourself by traversing the lonely surface of a video after the break.

But what is it even about? One rover’s desolate quest not just to find life, but to begin truly living? Nah. But there is science!

“Take On Mars places you in the seat of a Rover Operator, allowing you to control the various, fully simulated mobile Rovers and stationary Landers. With this scientific arsenal at your disposal, you will work your way through the numerous Science Missions in each location, unlocking the secrets of Mars’ distant past.”

Also, Mars itself is based on actual satellite data, and your explorations will be backed by a space program of your own running. Upkeep’s important, too, as your rover is dynamically destructible, with individual pieces cracking and falling to the wayside. Before long, it’ll be a naked, lonely, immobile pile of scrap – kinda like Wall-E if nothing good had ever happened to him. And then you will be very, very sad.

Take On Mars is coming to Steam Early Access on August 1st. Do you plan on enlisting? Are you a bad enough dude (or lady) to take on Mars?

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Nathan Grayson

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