Viscera Cleanup Detail Now With Co-op, Cara Lawsuit

Jesus. Who the fuck. This is going to take forever
I put on my pants one leg at a time just like everyone else in the morning. Except then I just have really great ideas for games. [pats self on back]

This game is Viscera Cleanup Detail, it’s a first person spaceship janitor simulator and it’s my absolute favourite game. People (like Sponge) will tell you that the idea was used ‘before’ or something in a game called Space Station 13 but since I haven’t played that and don’t know anything about it let’s just pretend that the idea came entirely from me.

One night, whilst probably a bit lucid-drunk, I tweeted this:

This tweet either a) went straight to the guys at RuneStorm who commenced making it or b) left my brain, went floating about the ideasphere, and then it accidentally permeated a RuneStorm brain that way. Like something from the Demon Headmaster, or something.

Shut up it’s not a coincidence. We even did a Shotcast where I talked about it! Slightly later on. By quite a bit.

In any case, Viscera Cleanup Detail is really a cleaning simulator, where you are on a ship that resembles the Nostromo and you have a mop and you have to clean up all the recently de-limbed people off the walls. People have exploded over everything. There are torsos everywhere. There are little bits of lungs. Being a janitor on a spaceship is super rough: you have to follow the blood trail and mop up all the ‘We Are Doomed’ messages written in blood on the walls. And then your mop gets saturated and you start mopping blood everywhere, so then you get a mop bucket and then you clean the mop and then accidentally spill the mop water everywhere and then… Well anyway, I’m going to clock out and go back to the staff room. What are those weird noises? Hmm. Must be the boilerroom.

Adam and I agreed that there is something suspicious about the mop, as we tried to get the new co-op janitoring mode to work on the Alpha build today. We couldn’t get it to work in co-op – it wouldn’t connect to the host (perhaps you will have more luck), so in the end we just ran about giggling in our our little games over Skype, trying to incinerate biohazardous waste and reporting that we had clipped a torso into the bucket dispenser. Adam is very certain that one of his mop fronds became sentient and expressed the feeling that the mop is a lot like a bunch of wangs on a stick.

In any case, I hope my other ideas for games become actual games. I tweeted this today and it seems to have become popular:

Don’t give me any of that Velvet Assassin crap, Cobbett. I’ve told you before.

Pick up an Alpha of Viscera Cleanup Detail here, and you can Greenlight it! Do that. Maybe I will get royalties.


Top comments

  1. Jackablade says:

    If you were to sit on the end of your bed, you could put on your pants both legs at a time, raising you above and beyond those individual pant legging cretins.
  1. engion3 says:

    I’d rather play “a bunch of wangs on a stick”

  2. RedViv says:

    No no no what we need is Cara Ellison Internet Bawbag Manager 2014. The premier educational handling-idiots-on-the-web sim!

  3. Elementlmage says:

    Wait a minute…. How did you write a tweet with your avatar being the girl from the season premier of the Venture Brother… before it was released? CONSPIRACY!!!

    • Bull0 says:

      When you link to twitter, it gets the current account picture. Nospiracy!

  4. Theory says:

    The Demon Headmaster! I’ve had clips from that stuck in my head for years without knowing where they came from. Now it’s all flooding back. What a fantastic show (if my memory serves).

    • Low Life says:

      Yes! Though I’m fairly sure it was only good because I was ten years old when it was on TV.

    • Mirqy says:

      it was a show? I was remembering a book.

  5. Tei says:

    – Madagascar infected with “Viral Marketing

    I have a idea for a game, but is about “You are a God floating over Galapagos, and can give wishes, any wishes, to the turtles there”. But probably somebody already have created it :P

    I think is crazy if your idea got really made into a videogame, or whas that a joke?

  6. Freud says:

    Julia Roberts as Nancy Wake.

  7. Bweahns says:

    A Skutter simulator, I wonder if you ever have to clean up vindaloo or Lister’s underpants. Or clean vindaloo off Lister’s underpants.

  8. Freud says:

    I have an idea for a game where you play as an American Special forces soldier and you travel to different parts of the world to thwart a terrorist plot. I’m thinking this could be a first person shooter.

    • Discopanda says:

      Like that cute Nancy Wake idea, except it’ll be a sequel to something else and sell 20 million copies. How about… Alan Wake 2: Dark Ops?

    • darkChozo says:

      Strange. I was thinking rhythm game.

      • Discopanda says:

        Alan Wake 2: Alan Versus the Boogie Demons. BETTER WITH KINECT ®

  9. NepenthesXD says:

    Red Dwarf !

  10. db1331 says:

    Rock, Paper, Ellison.

    • mechabuddha says:

      I think there should be one day a month where only one RPS contributor posts articles about anything and everything. I’m pretty sure that would be awesome sauce.

      • Koozer says:

        And when the first dies of exhaustion and/or caffeine overdose, there’s plenty more lined up!

    • colossalstrikepackage says:

      I would read nothing else.

  11. Greggh says:

    Hey, really liked those embedded tweets – really makes it feel like a PC blog, and not just your average “Gaming e-magazine” or something. Words!

    (PT-BR) ‘Parabéns Cara*!’
    Cara, in portuguese, means “Dude”. So… ‘kudos dude!’ :D

    • Greggh says:

      Also, for the afforementioned aesthetics in her journalism, I hereby claim that Cara is the new Kieron.


    • The Random One says:

      Cara, as I’ve mentioned before, also means “face” in Portuguese.

      Caracara = DUDEFACE (actually that’s not how Portuguese works at all)

  12. paranoidandroid42 says:

    Are you also taking credit for that stolen joke in the first sentence?

    • MarkN says:

      What joke? I may be being dim, but I see no joke in the first sentence – just a phrase I’ve heard plenty of times elsewhere.

  13. Don Reba says:

    Games makers and film makers, why aren’t you making things about this woman’s life link to holy hell in a hat

    It’s not going to sell well — ask any major publisher. Now, maybe if we name the main character “Alan”…

  14. Muzman says:

    Could we mix together the concepts and have something like Vichy Cleanup Detail, where you get to go around railway yards and the like mopping up the resulting bits of collaborators from last nights raids?

    It’s all a bit Allo Allo, so if someone other than Cara does it they get +1 v. litigiousness thanks to prior art.

  15. Professor Paul1290 says:

    On a more semi-serious note, I can see a lot of potential for some interesting environment storytelling in this.

    Since the player is looking all around his environment constantly as it’s part of the game, that can open up opportunities for some interesting scenes for the player to sort of re-construct what Mr. Space Marine Hero was doing on his way through.
    It would be interesting to find little things like a shotgun shell casing near a giant splat of blood on the wall, finding empty spot for a specific weapon on a weapon rack somewhere and finding empty casings for that weapon’s ammo in areas the hero passed through after that point, finding stacks of boxes where the hero had to stack them to reach a vent or something, or maybe even finding switches he pulled to make a certain contraption do a certain thing.

    Perhaps you could even have optional side tasks based on that.
    Maybe a researcher is missing keycard or weapon component because hero took it and if you manage to re-trace the hero’s path and find out where he dropped it you can return the item.
    Maybe you could even “undo” what would have been a “puzzle” of sorts to the hero, like perhaps the hero did something to jam a gate mechanism shut, and maybe you get a bonus if you can figure out where he threw a wrench in the works to get the mechanism stuck and remove it before the repair crew comes along.

  16. newprince says:

    I have an idea to revive the rhythm game genre.

    You have a combination gundick/guitar emanating from your pants. The background will be a FPS where you fight Nazi and/or Communist bears and men, and are liberating sweet blonde babes from certain death. You must play passages accurately to alternatively machine gun your enemies, pacify them with sweet, sweet power chords, or of course rhythm passages to get your hump on correctly. The Presiden’ts daughter is…

    Nevermind, this is terrible. Carry on.

  17. Premium User Badge

    Haywardan says:

    It’s pretty dangerous to try and pat yourself on the back when you’ve only got one leg in your pants. You will fall over and the robots will have to come and clear up the mess, and laugh.

  18. DestructibleEnvironments says:

    Wow, this IS the best game of all time. My god.

  19. Ham Solo says:

    Nice idea, but to make it awesome you need to implement every other feature from “space station 13”, too.

  20. nimzy says:

    I guess we can try to explain how space janitors roll on Space Station 13.

    You’re the lone sane man on a ship of fools…

    Er. Well, you’re the person with a mop, one of those push-buckets, a spray bottle and a garbage bag. And you’re on a space station built by one of the most malevolent, greedy and hated corporations in the galaxy. Your job is to clean up after the inhabitants of the station. What they didn’t tell you during the interview is that the inhabitants of the station are all insane. The captain is paranoid and believes everyone is out to get him, the Head of Personnel just changed your job title to “Counterterrorism Expert” and handed you a gun and thermal goggles, bored young people in dull grey jumpsuits engage in races down the long corridors lugging heavy toolboxes, scientists in conspicuous protective gear walk past hiding beakers and gas canisters behind their backs, security will taser you for simply mopping the floor, no one has seen a station engineer in days, and every so often you hear a sound suspiciously like a bike horn being squeezed. You thought you were brought aboard to clean up spills, pick up litter from the vending machines and handle the occasional light bulb burning out — instead the Head of Security calls you down to the brig to clean up a cell spattered with blood, the station’s chef asks you to clean human organs out of the meat locker, and a doctor begs you not to mop up the mess inside the Medical Bay out of fears someone will slip and fall on the wet floor. Then you have to fight for your job when a cyborg teams up with a floor-cleaning robot the station quartermaster ordered, only to realize the whole thing is a horrifying conspiracy by the station AI to slaughter everyone on board. Right before the cyborg tosses you out an airlock.

    Something like that. Still, even just a taste of the experience in 3D is worth it.

    • Sharlie Shaplin says:

      You know you have done well at your job as janitor of SS13, when someone calls for your immediate execution.

      • Geen says:

        I remember the one time the janitor (me), the clown, and the detective all got framed for some shit and ended up facing a firing squad. We all had our last laughs, gave our last regrets, I even gave the death speech from Blade Runner, and sung the lyrics to ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”. Then, as we had our final smokes, the clown did something. He threw his cigarette at the firing squad. Everyone was confused for a moment. Then it happened. It exploded. As it turns out, the clown was actually a member of a squad of syndies here to steal shit and take over the station, while we had been framed. Two members of the security team were incapacitated, and one was blown limb from limb. Then, the doors were opened, revealing the rest of security dead and three men in gas-masks carrying revolvers. Me and the detective had the same idea, immediately jumping into disposals while a firefight raged on between the remnants of the firing squad and the syndies. We managed to survive the ride, and, deep in our base in disposals, we formed a plan to save the station. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Die Hard happened in space, but that’s another story for another time.

        • starclaws says:

          Ya space station 13 stories rock hehe. I was always the engineer because after starting up the engine back in the day which no one knew how to do (but the station never seemed to need it because of poor game design) I would wander around and fix the giant holes people would explode in the space station. I knew how to build all the different things and restore pressure and such to the station. Was great.

  21. The Random One says:

    Obviously what we should do now is have a game jam to make games based on Cara’s tweets. Carajam. Soup & Jam!

  22. Megakoresh says:

    Oh I thought this will be some sort of sarcastic remark involving suing and all that.

    I hope the ideaspace blocks off her second tweet. I have had my share of WW2 games to last a lifetime.

  23. lgs says:

    No one cares about your twitter though, you can stop quoting yourself now.

    • Sparkasaurusmex says:

      Well except for all the commenters that seem to care about her twitter posts…

      • Greggh says:

        Yes, I for one.

        And it was relevant to the point, don’t ruin the fun kiddo :\

    • Cara Ellison says:

      I know this may blow your mind, but the WHOLE article IS A QUOTE FROM ME

      *does spooky hands*

  24. tnzk says:

    Not Nancy wake, but Cara and y’all should give the French movie “Female Agents” (où Les femmes de l’ombre) a spin.

    Yes, it’s as blunt and as awesome as the title suggests.

  25. Timberwolf says:

    To keep the “just after an FPS player has left the building” feel, I hope the full version of this starts with a task where you go round righting all the barrels, reorganising the shelf of movable physics objects, turning off the alarms and removing the stacks of computer monitors from atop the heads of NPCs where someone clearly got bored with the expositional story level.

  26. Jackablade says:

    If you were to sit on the end of your bed, you could put on your pants both legs at a time, raising you above and beyond those individual pant legging cretins.

  27. GreatBigWhiteWorld says:

    I like that you were “a bit lucid-drunk” at 8:09am…

  28. roryok says:

    There is one very memorable bit in Alien 3 which takes place a little while after some dude has been pulled up through an air vent and eaten by aliens. Another prisoner is mopping up blood underneath the vent, fearfully looking up and hoping it doesn’t happen again.

    • LennyLeonardo says:

      I always thought it’d be great if it did happen again – and again and again on an infinite loop, with occasional reaction shots from the other cast, getting more and more bored until they all wander off.

  29. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    Even better, they should make a game about the Night Witches.

    link to

    Russian teenage girls bombing Germans with cropdusters that had a maximum speed lower than the stall speed of German fighters.

  30. LennyLeonardo says:

    Pants or trousers? Because putting your pants on one leg at a time is insane.

  31. tKe says:

    Am I the only one who instantly wishes the multiplayer mode will be dubbed “Co-Mop”?

  32. hideinlight says:

    If you ever played their Ballistics mod, with the bloody mess mutator enabled, it all starts to make sense.

    Oh and use Hamachi for COOP. There’s this foreign concept called port forwarding that might need to be done if you want to COOP via direct connect . Port is 7777