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Viscera Cleanup Detail Now With Co-op, Cara Lawsuit

Jesus. Who the fuck. This is going to take forever

I put on my pants one leg at a time just like everyone else in the morning. Except then I just have really great ideas for games. [pats self on back]

This game is Viscera Cleanup Detail, it’s a first person spaceship janitor simulator and it’s my absolute favourite game. People (like Sponge) will tell you that the idea was used ‘before’ or something in a game called Space Station 13 but since I haven’t played that and don’t know anything about it let’s just pretend that the idea came entirely from me.

One night, whilst probably a bit lucid-drunk, I tweeted this:

This tweet either a) went straight to the guys at RuneStorm who commenced making it or b) left my brain, went floating about the ideasphere, and then it accidentally permeated a RuneStorm brain that way. Like something from the Demon Headmaster, or something.

Shut up it’s not a coincidence. We even did a Shotcast where I talked about it! Slightly later on. By quite a bit.

In any case, Viscera Cleanup Detail is really a cleaning simulator, where you are on a ship that resembles the Nostromo and you have a mop and you have to clean up all the recently de-limbed people off the walls. People have exploded over everything. There are torsos everywhere. There are little bits of lungs. Being a janitor on a spaceship is super rough: you have to follow the blood trail and mop up all the ‘We Are Doomed’ messages written in blood on the walls. And then your mop gets saturated and you start mopping blood everywhere, so then you get a mop bucket and then you clean the mop and then accidentally spill the mop water everywhere and then… Well anyway, I’m going to clock out and go back to the staff room. What are those weird noises? Hmm. Must be the boilerroom.

Adam and I agreed that there is something suspicious about the mop, as we tried to get the new co-op janitoring mode to work on the Alpha build today. We couldn’t get it to work in co-op – it wouldn’t connect to the host (perhaps you will have more luck), so in the end we just ran about giggling in our our little games over Skype, trying to incinerate biohazardous waste and reporting that we had clipped a torso into the bucket dispenser. Adam is very certain that one of his mop fronds became sentient and expressed the feeling that the mop is a lot like a bunch of wangs on a stick.

In any case, I hope my other ideas for games become actual games. I tweeted this today and it seems to have become popular:

Don’t give me any of that Velvet Assassin crap, Cobbett. I’ve told you before.

Pick up an Alpha of Viscera Cleanup Detail here, and you can Greenlight it! Do that. Maybe I will get royalties.

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Who am I?

Cara Ellison


Senior Scottish Correspondent, often known as the Notorious C A E, though mostly by her mum

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