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The RPS Bargain Bucket: Caramageddon


Hello there! Cara here. Sorry I couldn’t find a picture of a bucket. Mr Lewie Procter is moving house currently, as he is leaving London for newer pastures. I imagine him as a kind of suaver Shaggy from Scooby Doo type, buying a Mystery Machine and going on adventures as the bootstrap-pulling entrepreneur selling cheap videogames out the back of his VW. But it turns out he is just going to travel around the world Savygamering to fund himself. BORING. Tune in after the jump for a haphazard selection of cheap Cara games from Row IV, PC– £24.05

So, Saints Row IV. It turns out that me and Ben Barratt used the Saints Row IV ‘dong picture’ in our news posts way too much one week, because someone on the forum made a SFW Cara filter to stop getting the below picture in their news feed – even though the dong is not-dong!


It has been rectangled out! Someone was offended by not-penis, as Kieron Gillen so expertly labelled it in this trailer analysis. We at RPS Towers this very minute are trying to figure out more ways to fit this picture into everything now.

Anyway I have been thrilled this week by John’s reportage on Saints Row IV, as it appears that even though Deep Silver’s love for tacky stripper PR stunts has not waned, the actual Volition talent for cramming as much freaking ridiculous enjoyment as they possibly can into a game has not waned either.

Space Hulk, PC – £14.62

So, it turns out that Rab, as a boardgame purist, wasn’t as much of a fan of Space Hulk the videogame as we expected, but when me and Alec saw it at Rezzed we were still rather delighted by it. I’d trust Rab’s judgement if I were you, but if you absolutely need a computerised Space Hulk, this is the cheapest Lewie could find it. Registers on Steam.

Psychonauts, PC/Mac/Linux – £1.60

If you missed the Humble Double Fine Bundle, for the price of a latte in Brighton? Of course you should get it. Of course.

Dishonored: The Brigmore Witches, PC – £6.40

Jim super liked it, and even my old boss the dreamy Mr Simon Parkin gave it a 9/10 at Eurogamer (oh my gosh! I mentioned NUMBERS) – it seems like those DLC bros at Arkane have been very kind to their loyal fans.

Splinter Cell: Blacklist, PC – £22.50

This is all you need to know about Splinter Cell: Blacklist.

Imagine Sam Fisher had a kid and then he played hide and seek with the kid. ‘NO. WE ARE HAVING THE LIGHTS OFF.’ ‘BUT DADDY!’ ‘NO FISHER JR I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE NO HIDE AND SEEKS WITHOUT THE LIGHTS OFF.’ ‘I’M SCARED DADDY – ‘ *flicks light switch off* *Sam Fisher chuckle*


Finally, there are some BUNDLES I would like to bring to your attention.

The Bureau: XCOM Declassified, XCOM: Enemy Unknown & DLC, XCOM: UFO Defense, XCOM: Terror from the Deep, XCOM: Apocalypse, XCOM: Interceptor, XCOM: Enforcer & Spec Ops: The Line, PC – £20.25

So you can get all the XCOMs. Only one of them is any good, I will leave you to decide which. It’s probably not this one. Also Spec Ops! Yey.

And Humble Origins Bundle.

So, why isn’t Simcity on this bundle? Huh? Huh? Is it because more than five people on the servers at one time will OVERLOAD THE SYSTEMS?


Also Lewie would probably take a Glock and shoot my face if I didn’t tell you that Mirror’s Edge is totally worth the buy, even though ORIGINS, EA, etc etc. (Sometimes I wonder why EA doesn’t get mad at all our potshots – probably because we still talk about their games. I feel so used! Like that time someone sent me to a preview and then I hated it and now everyone wants to send me to previews, even though I hate them, but then people give me money to hate them, and then now all I do is previews.) Anyway, if you get over all your inner conflict about EA etc you can scrub yourself down in the bath after flinging yourself off virtual ledges, and think about how you donated to charity.

Also I hear there’s a Starry Night bundle over at Indie Royale. I imagined it’s an elaborate pun on S.T.A.R.S but it actually wasn’t.

Because you all requested I post about dongs and Britney Spears, I have found a post about Britney Spears talking about Justin Timberlake’s dong. Remember folks, like Britney teaches: penis size only becomes an issue if the penis in question is attached to someone who is a massive berk. And that is advice that Lewie would never be able to give you. Thus endeth the lessons from Britney & Cara.

Here is a ninetiesesque piece of pop trash by Annie that has just come out that I loved. It’s called ‘Invisible’, and I don’t think this is the official video because it’s not out yet.

Enjoy your Savygaming!

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Who am I?

Cara Ellison


Senior Scottish Correspondent, often known as the Notorious C A E, though mostly by her mum

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