Thank Goodness: Peggle 2 And PvZ: GW Not On PC First

Oh man, phew. I was worried there for a second, but now I see that I was getting all worked up over nothing. I mean, seriously: what if Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare and Peggle 2 had come out on PC at the same time they debuted on Xbox One? It probably would’ve spelled the end of all videogames – and, let’s face it, life – as we know it. The Xbox certainly would’ve sold markedly less than one unit as a result. That’s for sure. Thankfully, Microsoft and EA have teamed up to save the day, pushing the PC (and, I suppose, other platform) versions of Peggle’s second coming and PvZ’s green-trigger-finger-twitching reinvention into even murkier depths.

The announcement was made during Microsoft’s Gamescom press conference, and the behemoth has no intention of throwing us an Xbone. Both PopCap standard-bearers are now timed exclusives to the bouncing baby consolebox, with no one bothering to specify the exact time period because why would they do a silly thing like that? I doubt we’ll be hearing much on that front until after the games come out. It’s the natural (read: dumb) way of these things, after all.

This is, of course, the same Microsoft that recently pulled the plug on its Games For Windows marketplace and accidentally announced the impending (though admittedly long overdue) dissolution of its Games For Windows Live multiplayer service. They would really, really, really prefer we didn’t play games on our PCs – even though they sometimes (sort of, non-committally) claim otherwise.

Peggle 2 will apparently be a launch title for Xbox One, while Garden Warfare is sprouting up sometime next year. We’ll see both eventually. Something’s better than nothing, though, I suppose. Hooray for only-mostly-hollow victories.


  1. Chalky says:

    To be fair these aren’t the most exciting looking titles anyway.

    • Schaap says:

      Say that to my face you scum. Just because you’re too casual to appreciate the genius of Peggle doesn’t mean it’s not exciting. People made fan fiction for crying out loud! link to

      • Spacewalk says:

        Is any of it porn?

      • Gap Gen says:

        So, uh, on a similar note, I might have thought it was a good idea to do this: link to

      • MadTinkerer says:

        I know you’re joking, but allow me to address the serious point you’re making for comic effect: We’re not talking about the wonderful Peggle or any of Popcap’s Peggle spinoffs. We’re talking about the mutilated and mutated abomination that you get when you surgically add microtransactions to otherwise good games. My brother already tried PvZ on his phone, then deleted it the day after, informing me of how badly it was infected.

        These are not Popcap games. They are Necromorph versions of Popcap games. Hence the lack of excitement.

        • Aphex242 says:

          While I’m not crazy about the microtransactions in the latest PvZ, I’ve played nearly all of it without spending a dime. It’s not hard. At no point have I seriously felt compelled to buy anything with real cash. All the items are obtainable via unlocks in the game, and getting them is no harder than unlocks in any other traditional game. Sure you CAN pay to unlock something early, but why bother? Some people will, but the game is designed in such a way as to make that totally unnecessary.

    • Flopper says:

      Two more Pirate Bay exclusives for me! WOOOOO! I love making up justification for pirating games. TEE HEE

  2. starclaws says:

    Send this to their twitter. Hopefully they will rethink single platform releases. “I doubt we’ll be hearing much on that front until after the games come out. It’s the natural (read: dumb) way of these things, after all.”

  3. bstard says:

    I guess consoles, exclusives and EA are part of this world to balance the good things.

    • Gap Gen says:

      “Beyond Good and Microsoft”

      • MajorManiac says:

        These games must pass through ‘the route of all Microsoft’.

        • TulipWaltz says:

          Between EA and Microsoft, Microsoft really is the “lesser of two Microsofts”.

    • I Got Pineapples says:

      I think people assumed the end of the console cycle would last forever. Platform agnostic releases would continue to rain from the heavens and the PC would be treated as a real actual thing that people play games on.

      Do people not remember the dark times? Do they not remember the beginning of the console cycle where the walls are painted with the blood of those not strong enough to stand in the dreadful war of the dawn years, where the Console Lords display their dark and terrible might?

      Remember when they took the Multiplayer FPS from us? Remember when that genre was ours and we used to glare down at the Consolemens with derision, thinking them too feeble to master its power?


      Dark days are coming and those who do not realise this will be broken upon them.

      • MattM says:

        They didn’t build a 1000 foot wall of ice to keep out 1 week exclusives and games that work a little better with a controller, they did it to keep back a horde of exclusives and ports with a fixed rendering resolution and low res textures.

      • sockdemon says:

        First they came for the FPS’s, and I did nothing, because I’m not an FPS…

      • Gap Gen says:

        I… I remember the Betrayal at Halo. We have grown weak with luxury. No more. To the link to, by comrades! Not one step back!

      • X_kot says:

        Consoles. Consoles never change.

      • Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

        I was there. I was there, at the dying of the light. The FPS walls were smashed, our online multiplayer weapons were spent. We never thought this day would come, but come it did.

        Our troops were demoralised, and our enemies seemed numberless. Grand Theft Auto, once a valued ally, long since turned by the lures of wealth, strode under the twin banners of Microsoft and Sony. Halo, who had pledged allegiance to our cause as a youth, turned his back on us at adulthood and led entire armies against our walls. Call of Duty, who was once one of ours, became a fickle mercenary, fighting for anyone with the coin to buy his loyalty for an hour. Plants Vs Zombies and Peggle marched alongside their turncoat brethren, still promising themselves to us with a sly wink, and coquettish smile, even as they wore the enemy’s colours and did their bidding. The unnumbered hordes spilled into our holiest, most sacred grounds, plundering the succulent, defenceless indies they found there, turning them with massive injections of cash, but burning out their very souls.

        A small force of our finest warriors took up their keyboards and mice one last time and fought their way through the throng, preserving specimens of gaming of our age. They buried the capsules in anonymous locations around the world, then sold their lives dearly to guard the secrets. What will some future gamers think of The Curse of Monkey Island? Will they be able to comprehend Civilization 2? What will they make of Planetside 2? System Shock 2 will shock them. Eve Online may frighten them, but we dare not omit it from the record. Space Hulk might disappoint, but it is no longer for us to judge. World of Warcraft may taint their opinion of us, but it is part of their heritage, though they know it not. We consign to the ages Minecraft, Redshirts, Spacechem, Men of War, and all the games unnamed and unnumbered.

        The doors to the sanctum lie sundered. They come for me now. I can feel their sticky eyes on my neck. It is too late for us, future gamers, but remember the words of the sacred scrolls: “All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

  4. Bull0 says:

    Who the fuck wants to play Peggle with an xbox controller anyway? It was a PC game first!

  5. Chris says:

    Microsoft must be paying Popcap millions.

    • TormDK says:

      They are owned by EA now.

      So it’s likely as part of the deal with FIFA14 etc.

    • MattM says:

      I feel like EA just does it out of spite. “PC gamers? aren’t they the assholes who raise a ruckus every time we disable someones origin account for the crime of being quoted in someone else’s offensive forum post?”

      pps firefox spell check, you are the worst too.

      • AlmostPalpable says:

        Did they do it out of spite? No. EA is a massive company that is run by people who have absolutely no clue about gaming or gamers and only know that there is a lot of money to be made and they want as much of it as they can get. They aren’t trying to be literally Hitler, they just seem that way because they don’t even know that what they are doing is wrong until it’s already too late.

        EA: Man, I’m awfully sorry about murdering your parents, Batman. I just saw some sparkly jewellery and had to have it because all things of value belong to me.

        Batman: They were wearing that jewellery, around their necks, the necks that you cut with your knife. You killed my parents just for some stupid jewellery and you already had more jewellery than you could ever want or use. WHY, EA, WHY?!

        EA: Why? Because all things of value belong to me. I feel bad for making you feel bad now that you’ve told me what I did was wrong but you should have told me before I murdered them that that is not what you want. It’s your fault I murdered your parents because you didn’t see into the future, otherwise it would be my fault and I am a good company, I care about [insert demographic] with all of my [insert organ].

        • TheTingler says:

          And if you don’t believe all that, remember EA have just announced an iOS-only microtransaction-stuffed new Dungeon Keeper game. In the same style as Theme Park. “Pay £2.49 to build your ride now or wait 4 actual real-life hours for it to be built!”

          • IonTichy says:

            I do remember their fun fun fun donut-tastic simpsons game.

            which was a success.

            I don’t know who to blame anymore…

      • jezcentral says:

        Does anyone have a list of people who got their Origin accounts disabled because of offensive posts?

    • MadTinkerer says:

      Popcap isn’t Popcap any more. It’s now a Zynga clone.

  6. fiendling says:

    Hmmmm… not exactly a train-smash.

    Neither are titles that would make me even consider picking up an Xbone.

    • Thermal Ions says:

      Yes, they seem rather odd choices to have as launch titles … except maybe to pad out the numbers for press releases. It must be said that the press has panned some systems in recent years for a lack of release titles.

  7. cbayley says:

    Something tells me that, at least as far as Peggle 2 is concerned, this is gonna go about as well for PopCap as being a Windows 8 marketplace timed-exclusive did for Skulls of the Shogun. Garden Warfare might do better since the PvZ brand is well known with all gamers, and its a shooter type gun thing game, which I hear the Xboners love, but do they seriously expect to blow up the Xbox charts with Peggle 2?

  8. Uglycat says:

    I feel ashamed that I read the title as PvZ : Gone Wild

  9. acheron says:

    Consoles? Does Peggle even *have* any hookers you can kill? What makes EA think console gamers will be interested?

  10. Tom Walker says:

    Why isn’t PvZ2 on PC yet? I demand their marketing director’s brains on a plate.

  11. Tom Walker says:

    Shut up, spambot. This is why you don’t get invited to parties.

  12. mehteh says:

    EA owns Popcap now so i dont care for PvZ anymore

  13. realitysconcierge says:

    Man the spam is getting kind of crazy today…

  14. sabasNL says:

    Repeat after me: “*sigh*”

    Now do it louder.

    MUCH louder, you pussy.

    Good. Now extend it to 10 seconds.

    Do it again while facepalming.

    There you go. That’s what you will do every time you hear something from the idiots working at EA or Microsoft.