Watashi Wa Is A Soul-Soothing, Non-Shooting 7DFPS

If only this were a review. Then I could've called it 'Watashi I Think.' But then, that would've been redundant since 'Watashi' means 'I' in Japanese. What a shame. Also, here is a turtle.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve had an especially stressful, topsy turvy week. Also, we’ve been posting about bloody manshoots and manwars and carshoots and carmanbloodwars for ages due to Gamescom’s monolithic domination of the news cannons, and it’s time for a change of pace. I want something relaxing. Something soothing. Something that creates instead of reducing everything around it to chalky pools of ash and blood. I want… an ethereal gardening simulator! Watashi Wa Hijo Ni Yoku Nihongo Hanasenai sees you breathe life into a barren, featureless expanse while dreamy melodies dance and drift through the background. Occasionally, there are turtles. It made me feel all warm and happy in my heart chambers.

Watashi Wa is, admittedly, an incredibly simple game. The world starts out blank, save for a piece or two of foliage. You, however, have the ability to make trees grow at an accelerated pace and drop countless seeds… via a beam that looks weirdly like pixelated puke. But it’s still an enchanting experience, and you’ll have a forest literally raining down around you in minutes. There’s just something inherently wondrous about watching new life tumble down like fresh snow.

There really, really isn’t much to it, though. There are only a couple tree types, and I quickly found myself wishing for more variety in the glorious oasis I’d willed into being. The odd turtle occasionally served as a nice surprise, but again: that was it. Also, what kind of tundra forest is overrun exclusively by turtles? NATURE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.

It’s here that Watashi Wa’s 7DFPS roots show through, skeletal and undergrown as they are. I’d love to see this expanded into a fuller project – still with a minimalist bent, but bolstered by more variety and surprises. Maybe throw in a dash of Proteus and see where it ends up. I really, really wanted to lose myself in this place, but I couldn’t for long. Still though, it was a nice escape from real life’s ugly stranglehold while it lasted.


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    kowh says:

    I love the name. Seems all foreign and exotic until you realize it’s just “I do not speak japanese very well” run through Google Translate.

    • vivlo says:


    • KwisatzHaderach says:

      But “I do not speak Japanese very well” means “Watashi wa hijō ni yoku nihongo hanasenai”… So what does just watashi wa mean? I don not? Or, I do not well? Curser the Tower of Babel!

  2. CaLe says:

    It doesn’t need hijou ni in there, and it should be nihongo ga hanasenai. In fact, dekinai would be better than hanasenai, as well.

    • takfar says:

      I suppose the mistakes may be part of the point?

    • gunny1993 says:

      They probably used google translate to get the title.

      • vivlo says:

        actually, if you try to translate “I do not speak japanese very well” with google, the result in japanese will exactly be “Watashi Wa Hijo Ni Yoku Nihongo Hanasenai” (without capital letters).

    • ChrisGWaine says:

      I cannot posting on the Internet English extremely well.

    • Theon says:

      Not to be an asshat, but you’re not entirely right.
      You’re right about the double superlative – it just doesn’t work (although it might be an intentional joke in this case); However, the particle “ga” can and is frequently omitted, and “dekinai” wouldn’t necessarily fit better than “hanasenai” – Similarily, in English, you can say that you don’t comprehend English, or that you don’t speak it. It’s just a matter of nuance.

      • CaLe says:

        I’m well aware. I still think what I typed most suits what they were trying to say. Japanese are much more likely to say できない, not 話せない. Particle omission can be merely preference but its omission here seems to be more of a mistake than anything else.

    • equatorian says:

      I thought hijou makes it funnier. Although then it wouldn’t need yoku, and you’re right that hanasenai is weird. Not sure if I’d replace it with dekinai, though.

  3. vivlo says:

    also it’s from the people behind “bokida” featured some time ago on fps, and bokida is google japanese for “A Bookkeeping”

  4. DissidentDan says:

    7dfps generated tons of innovative games. Check out mine. You have to use mirrors to locate enemies because you can’t see them directly. This creates cool stealth encounters that sometimes devolve into frantic panic. And, yes, it works better than you think it would.

    link to 7dfps.com

    You can also view the daily progress of the game as it was built in a series of short videos on my web site.


    • Berzee says:

      That sounds fun/terrifying. I will download it now so that I will discover it months from now in my unplayed games folder and install it! (I cannot play it now because I have a head cold and invisible enemies would simply be too much for my delicate consitution).

  5. crinkles esq. says:

    FPS = First-Person Shooter. Emphasis on shooting things. This is not that. Nor is it even really a game. But hey, other than that, looks swell.

  6. Dances to Podcasts says:

    Shooting seeds is the manliest manshooting there is!