A Machine For Gibs: Rise Of The Triad 1.1

I enjoy seeing the Apogee logo pushing its pixels onto the screen at the beginning of every Rise of the Triad trailer. For me, it doesn’t primarily bring back memories of frenzied first-person shooting, although I did enjoy the original ROTT way back when. Apogee are inextricably linked with Wacky Wheels in my mind though, which worries me a little. How much time did I actually spend steering an elephant around an arena-track, his balloon-laden kart spinning and bouncing as I battled for supremacy? Perhaps there will be an updated version next year? If so, I’d appreciate the sort of post-release support ROTT is receiving. A mega-patch has arrived with tweaks and fixes aplenty, as well as five new multiplayer maps. Video below.

I’ve played the first couple of stages of the reboot, just to see if the ludicrous gibs still had a place in my heart, or indeed out of it, and all over the walls. It certainly felt like an old-school shooter and I found some treasure in a tunnel behind an explosive barrel. Perhaps I’ll return one day. It doesn’t seem right to stop before the madness really begins. I didn’t turn into a dog, not even once.

Here’s a full list of fixes/changes.


  1. Keymonk says:

    Fuck me. I hope they do release a new version of Wacky Wheels. That game was awesome.

    • alfred says:

      my roomate’s mother makes $74/hour on the computer. She has been out of a job for 9 months but last month her check was $14943 just working on the computer for a few hours. Go Here
      ………………. link to goo.gl

    • Rikard Peterson says:

      It’s one of the few computer games I managed to get my sister to play with me. Great fun.

      But I wonder if it’d be possible to make a good modern version of it. The extreme simplicity is a large part of its appeal.

  2. derbefrier says:

    Wacky wheels! I haven’t thought about that game in forever. As for rott this patch means its time to start playing again. Its a fun game I think but things don’t really start to get good untill the end of the first act. Oh and turning into a dog is awesome.

  3. Synesthesia says:

    Wacky wheels!! I remember always picking the shark.

    Also, will you guys do a WIT on this soon?

  4. BobbyDylan says:

    I think Whacky Wheels was the only Racing game I played constantly. Shooting hedgehogs FTW!

  5. AlmostPalpable says:

    I hate gamers. The fact that this game exists and that it made actual money has taken my faith in humanity down to a record low.

    • Simbosan says:

      I am most concerned about you AlmostPalpable. How can we help you overcome this dark moment of despair, truly you seem to be staring into the pit of endless torment. Don’t give up, keep the faith young person.

      • Turkey says:

        Thank you for those kind words.

        I’m part of a support group for people who have lost their faith in humanity along with AlmostPalpable here. It’s a shame, AlmostPalpable was finally starting to open up to the group, and he was getting around to the idea that humanity might not be so bad after all. But, alas, one of the others in the group showed up wearing a Rise of The Triad sweatshirt, which caused AlmostPalpable to storm out of the room, shouting something about gamers.

        AlmostPalpable, if you’re reading this, please come back.

      • TheTingler says:

        While I can’t defend the cynicism, this new Rise of the Triad just wasn’t very good.

        However, I’m going to try it again with the mountainous amount of fixes (still no save function though) to see if it plays better.

  6. Potajito says:

    Wow ! You can even buy Wacky Wheel on that 3drealms page (link to regnow.com). For just…..8.94€…including DRM….

    • Deadly Sinner says:

      That’s not even the best part. You can buy “download protection.”

      “We’ll automatically store on our server a back-up copy of the software that you purchased and downloaded in your order for two (2) years from the date of purchase. System crash? Hard disk error? No Worries! You can re-download your purchase anytime during your extended protection period.”

  7. Turkey says:

    I remember getting RoTT on an Apogee double pack with Terminal Velocity when I was in my early teens. I remember it being one of the few 2.5D shooters I didn’t like. The power ups were fun, but the game just wasn’t that fun to play.

    I played the crap out of Terminal Velocity, though.

  8. Guvornator says:

    “Apogee are inextricably linked with Wacky Wheels in my mind though, which worries me a little”

    In the same way, Epic are forever linked not with Gears of War or Unreal, but Jazz Jackrabbit…

  9. Ironclad says:

    the pun, it burns! it burns us

  10. bretlee996 says:

    my classmate’s ex-wife makes $61/hour on the internet. She has been without a job for seven months but last month her payment was $17887 just working on the internet for a few hours. you can check here ———> http://www.jobs47.com