I just dodged the biggest bullet of my professional career. The greatest hazard of this job isn’t furious comments or frustrated developers – far from it – the true terror lies in the weird crap I find myself typing into Google. There’s a new Strider game coming out early next year and when I decided to post the trailer, I figured I’d reminisce about the one part of the game everybody remembers, namely the Ouroburos-boss, which was basically a scary Soviet conga line. New Strider has a flying centipede monster, which may or may not be a rebooted Ouroboros, but it did lead me to search for Strider centipede. Google had this to say – “Did you mean: spider centipede”. No, Google, I absolutely did not.
I’d write some thoughts on the trailer but I don’t have any because I’m too busy perching on my chair and scanning the floor for spider-centipedes. I can visualise them. Or maybe people search for spiders fighting centipedes? It’s entirely possible that I’ll scratch all of my skin off in an effort to stop it from crawling.
Turrican next, please. And do it properly.